Saturday, June 25, 2005

Dear Noah

Trying to explain strangers to you and who is and who is not safe to be around is difficult, especially when I myself am not always sure of WHO you can trust.

Today Daddy went to Kelley's wedding by himself cause you once again did not want to go anywhere. We had already planned to stay home this wedding as we figured the events might be too much for you to handle.

SINCE being home however, you decided you wanted Burger King for lunch. I told you YOU would have to go along with me if you wanted BK for lunch. You wanted to stay home and "record". You have had a one track mind lately of wanting to do nothing but record or play on your PC.

SO I decided to go in and talk to you about all these things again today. It all came down to this basically:

You told me you were afraid to go anywhere because you were afraid a stranger would come up and take you awy from mommy and daddy. You said you felt safe at home and wanted to stay home. I even suggested to you walking over or driving over to get our new pool keys today as they are passing them out today and tomorrow. We are talking right across the lot. You did not even want to do that. You said "let daddy do it tomorrow" , or "we can do it tomorrow". (now I am obssessed about NO keys remaining tomorrow which I KNOW is I would prefer doing it TODAY).

You have said to me "I'll stay here at home" (while I go get the key and lunch or whatever). I have told you time and time again you are WAY TOO little at 6 years of age to be staying home by yourself. (AND matter how tempting the notion might be to just walk and get our mail and leave you here while I also get the pool keys..I WOULD NOT do that!)

I have tried telling you if you are WITH mommy and daddy that you should be safe...that we would not let someone come along and take you away from us. That does not seem to matter to you. The idea that someone COULD is apparently too upsetting to you and not worth the risk.

I have already informed you tomorrow you WILL be going to church and Monday you WILL be going to physical therapy. You need to cut back on recording perhaps?!

Anyway.....I hope you are done crying about all least for today you are.

BUT I am not sure how to get the concept of strangers (good and bad) through to you. It is confusing to even me! SO I will have to work on this. I know it has everything to do with your autism and generalized anxiety disorder. But lately this has been a bit extreme.

SO I will pray for you my little man. I love you!!

Mommy ( I am thankful at least I make you feel safe here at home)

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