Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Dear Noah:

You were filming in your room......when you suddenly had to go to the bathroom....."NUMBER 3!!" you shouted (which is peeing, pooping together at the same time...you know......1+2=3 deal).

anyway.......you left the camera rolling......caught your backside walking into the bathroom...came back and put it on the floor.......so all we see are your feet then....but once in the bathroom we can see your entire body. You squat on the toilet......and start talking outloud which is something you always do in the bathroom while sitting on the toilet. You either talk or sing....the entire time...now you have also added FILMING.

Anyway.....pretty soon you called to me saying "Mommy.....I think we have a problem here....I think this is a very large poopy......and 75% of it has come out and is in the toilet....but 25% is still up inside my butt." (I just about lost it....it was hilarious ...hahah....) I think you were trying to get out of wiping...but it was a bit messy....and I showed you how to handle messy ones.

You have been using HUGE words lately.....and correctly in sentences....but when I ask you what a particular word means...you don't know. BUT when you choose and pick words you use to make long outstanding sentences of communication....those words are flowing off your lips now...and they are being appopriately used! It is very impressive......but worrisome at the same time because you do not necessarily know the meanings...though you know they are appropriate! (enough to make my head hurt).

I will not post the clip on YouTube and then here. I am worried people will get the wrong idea of your little backside being filmed on a small digital camera....even if it is a home video.....I would also not want some sexual predator eyeing your tiny body and getting any ideas....

so....we had a pretty good day today. At least we got out of the house for a short trip to the butcher shop and to check for train crossings.

i love you lots!

mommy :X

Monday, January 29, 2007

free online bookmark manager

check it out. I was looking for a free online bookmark manager when I came across this site

www.bookkit.com

they allow you to import and export bookmarks from IE, Firefox and XBEL. It is amazing and free and then allows you to access all your bookmarks online anywhere you are.....

Noah and his weird dreams....


He is standing here giggling.....telling me he had "weird" dreams last night.

First he said it: "it was great because it was just me and daddy and we lost all the other parents but all the train engineers were still there...but NO OTHER PEOPLE were around. Then you said you were an adult.....but you did some bad things first and then some good things. You said the bad things were the peeing in the shower below and pooping on the floor...etc. We discussed the peeing in the shower and you found out that that is not necessarily a bad thing so you determined that it was a GOOD thing and okay to do. Then you said you did something on purpose...when you were a bit older...an adult size...maybe in MID age......You said you were wishing that the train engineers were gone and that was when you knew how to drive a real train.

I asked you if all the other parents being gone included me..and you said yes. I asked if you if you would miss me.....you said "oh.....yeah......well....maybe a little bit"......later you said "I don't know."

I asked you what you and daddy would do and you said it would be just you and daddy and nobody else and you could do whatever you wanted and the first thing you did was PEE in the shower!

I asked where I was.......and you said........"um.....in space?" you promptly told me you kept all the accessories in this house including the furniture.

2) The second part of the dream was a problem......because you pooped on the floor. When I asked you who cleaned this up...you said it was a sweeper that was real, with eyes, a nose, and a mouth and he ate the poop up!

3) The third part of the dream was also a problem.......you said you peed on the tile floor in this house. When asked why you giggled and said you did not know....and you told me the sweeper cleaned up that also.

4) Was not a problem you said but it should be......it was you playing your games on the computer over and over and over all the time all night long and all day long.

5) The fifth thing was not a problem you said: You told me you put AA batteries into the clocks in this house when they slowed down.

6) The sixth part of your dream was you filming RR crossings anytime you heard a train whistle.

7) The seventh thing was another good thing: I think I always talked to daddy on the phone every day. Even Tony was there too so I also talk to Tony too.

8) The eighth thing was also not a problem: You had a house in the Canada area...but it was in the area where Tony lived (which it could not be)...because you said it was on the border of the U.S. and Canada.

9) The ninth thing was you filming trains in the U.S. and trains in the Canada area. (I am sure your piece of heaven!).

10) The tenth thing had something to do with trains in Canada again which I could not quite grasp.

About this time I asked you if you really dreamed all these things or if you were making these things up now. You said the last half of these were REAL dreams.......things you thought about while you were awake I guess.

11) Building lots and lots and lots of HO train tracks and other stuff......cars..

12) The final part was you playing with your HO scale RR crossing signals, and you liked to turn them off when the train was still crossing and turn them on when the train was a lot of miles away.

Now you had much much more....but I decided to keep this at 12. So...you finished by saying:

"I love you......" "The end."

Sunday, January 28, 2007

16 hashbrowns and 5 pieces of chicken

that was your request for "brunch" today since you got up later than usual. SO I put 16 Ore-Ida crown hashbrowns into the oven and fried 1 chicken strip to cut into 5 pieces.

you said your brunch was "excellent."

i love you...forever i will.

mommy :X

Friday, January 26, 2007

Dear Noah:


Slowly but surely you are learning to wipe your own butt after bowel movements! YEAH! It seems like this has been an ongoing process. I mean you turned 8 in December......and here we are!

BUT today you were wanting me to come in and check your butt after a bowel movement to see if it needed wiped. I had to ask you a few times what you wanted because you were not talking but instead holding your head down and just whining around instead. Finally you lost it and stood up off the toilet....growled and grabbed the wipes and shoved them at me.

Well.........THAT did it for me! I told you that you could wipe your own butt now......and to not ask me to do it again. I could check you once you were done......but YOU would be doing the wiping!

I heard you whimpering around in the bathroom....but you finally were fine and wanted me to check. YOU DID IT!!!!!! AND not just this one time but for the rest of the day! ANY time you needed to you did it by yourself. I think after the short-lived blow up you realize I mean business now......and you know you did wrong by acting like you did and shoving/throwing that tub of flushable wet wipes my way.

SO....progress is being made. Tonight you wanted me to check you......but really wanted me to wipe you. SORRY....no can do! I am really going to take advantage of this forced issue now and make you continue to do it! AND today you did great.....so I know you CAN do it...even if you have to wipe 3 times in a row! YOU ARE DOING IT!!!

I am very proud of you.........now if we can just get all those loose teeth out of your mouth!

love you lots!

mommy :X

mommy love you noah - you are so beautiful

Dear Noah:


You can be so silly. Today before going to get clean underwear on you put your PJs back on without underwear....a first of that sensation for you. You got very excited about it as it "felt weird" you said....hahah. You told me "Mommy......I am trying something different....with my pajama bottoms and NO UNDERWEAR!". I asked you how it felt and you said "it feels really weird" (all the time giggling) ...."everything moves around funny."

you did a lot of giggling and seemed to enjoy this a lot before you finally got dressed....well...at least put some underwear back on and then your PJs.

Here you are today having some spaghetti sauce and garlic toast for your lunch. I was struck by how you were sitting......you are so flexible but this certainly does not look overly comfortable to me and yet this is how I find you sitting a lot of places......this is how you used to sit on the toilet!

squatter you be.......but I love you regardless!

mommy :X

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Noah recorded himself playing with his cars and trains

Dear Noah:


You just came in crying. Walked in holding your penis with your pants down...(I figure you hurt yourself...your penis....something horrible).

I heard you whimpering at the door...I figured at first you just were upset I had my office door partly closed. BUT no....you had hurt yourself. You said "I did something horribly wrong," (which amazed me again with the words you use now)....I asked you what you did. You proceeded to tell me you were rolling around on your big exercise ball on top of your bed. (which I had told you over and over to not do so you would not get hurt).

You apparently rolled OFF the end of the bed and landed on the end of it hitting your butt and leg on the way down and waking up Oscar your animated toy dog you got for your birthday. I asked you if you got hurt....you finally said yes (in between sobs)......pointing to your left butt cheek which was all red........you had your pants down because you wanted me to kiss you butt.....I did. Next you wanted me to kiss your leg which also got hurt. I did. Then you wanted me to put Oscar back to sleep mode......but he had already gone back to sleep by the time we got back into your room.

Yes.......you still come running to me for kisses on your booboos. I always willingly give them...I never hesitate. I wonder if when you are 12 you will still want me to kiss your booboos. Most 12-year-olds would not......but you are not a typical 12-year-old. Emotionally you are a lot younger than your 8 years. I asked you after your birthday in December if you felt like you were 8 years old. How OLD you really felt. You said you felt like about 5. I find that does indeed correspond to the emotional level you most likely would be at........since you have always been behind in that area by a few years.

As you get older however......we will have to come up with another way to soothe your booboos...especially if they involve your butt. I have taught you to self-soothe some of your own booboos now....so many times you will kiss your own booboos. Sometimes....in hard to reach places......you still ask for my help.

I am your mommy.....I willingly do all those things for you.........I love you

mommy :X

Monday, January 22, 2007

Dear Noah:

Well we finally got some snow and ice.......we woke to a winter wonderland. We waited till nightfall before heading out to shovel. You helped mommy a lot! You did an amazing job shoveling.

You fell asleep very quickly tonight....I imagine that little body is tired.

i love you.......maybe some movies or pics tomorrow.

mommy :X

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Dear Noah:

sigh......it is all about trains with you still. Train crossings....train whistles, bells, flashing lights, routes, cars, engines, on and on. You never tire of it. You can sit all day and watch videoclips of trains if I let you. You can use part of your day FILMING videotrain clips with your new camera you got for Christmas.

This weekend I will need to incorporate your love of trains into your homeschooling.

I am sure it can be done and you will love it even more and it will make it easier to do your school work.

Not much else to say today. Mommy is tired.

i love you

:X

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Dear Noah:

I have often wondered....if we were ever involved in some type of emergency.....and we were stuck somewhere for a few days.........WHAT you would eat. Would I be fortunate enough to have remembered to always carry staples for you such as M&Ms.......chocolate chip cookies.......anything you MIGHT like?

I mean if we were involved in like some National Emergency......and stuck somewhere.....there is nothing I can think of that you would be able to eat to get by. Other than things out of a vending machine if there were one...like M&Ms. Can one survive on M&Ms alone?

You are so particular about food but easy at the same time. EVERYTHING still has to be "just so" even though now you will open up to exploring some new foods or tastes of foods.

BUT unless there were a way for you to get my homecooked chicken strips or frozen fries or BURGER KING.......would you eventually break down and eat something? Could you keep it down without the smell or the texture gagging you? Would you starve to death?

I have to remember to at least carry plenty of water and M&Ms....Goldfish crackers.....fruit rollups......some things with me all the time that I know you could "get by" on if you had to.

This used to worry me a lot after 9/11.....not so much so now.......but I do think about such things from time to time and wonder what you would do for food. The end result is a bit scary to me to even think about.

Driving to grandma's tonight I made some comments (not bad ones) about a driver pulling out in front of us. You have started to FILL IN words for me before I would normally say them. So what did you choose to say? You said "the idiot!" OH NO......I realize you have to have picked this up from me because in the past I have let that slip out of my mouth a few times. I normally do not any longer drive with road rage......realizing that if you are being slowed down for some reason it could just be one that will save your life.....so I go with the flow and try not to ever get myself into a predicament where I am running that late. So......I began the process again of explaining to you that IDIOT was not the best CHOICE to use or the nicest...and it was a word we really should choose to NOT say...especially in this setting. (even though it may be appropriate).

I have to admit I was NOT going to say IDIOT........you record me all the time with your little camera......videoclips.........and sound. I am not thrilled with the way I sound sometimes on playback.

i love you.......forever to the moon and back again......over and over and over....to infinity and beyond.....

mommy :X

Monday, January 15, 2007

Dear Noah:

Seems to me you had an "attitude" weekend. Here's hoping this week will be less eye rolling and sassing!

Friday, January 12, 2007

Dear Noah:

It never ceases to amaze me sometimes how simple things most take for granted can become huge chores for you. Take brushing your teeth. You do that pretty well....but not with loose teeth in the front of your mouth. THOSE teeth you don't want to touch. I cannot blame you. They look like they would be a bit tender on the top. The top because you have your new permanent teeth already coming in down over the old baby teeth. Only one of the older baby teeth is down lower and seems to be pretty loose. The other baby tooth seems to have gone back upwards and gotten tighter. NOT good.

We have been dealing with this awhile now because I personally did not want to face the nightmare taking you to a dentist would entail....but I am going to have to make an appointment and take you. I do not want you my little man to grow up with permanent bucked teeth.

sigh.........You have made huge progress over the years. I am still needed in the bathroom after your bowel movements to make sure you are clean. You will wipe...not consistently......and most times just want me to do it. You are now 8. I never dreamed I would still be wiping your butt after bowel movements at 8 years of age. I don't mind...I am not complaining. It is just one of those things. Harder to understand sometimes because I know you could do it....but because of all your sensory issues and fears of getting dirty hands, etc. you don't want to do it. PLUS you don't have the strength in your hands to actually wipe appropriately. I know it will all come to pass in time. Getting you out of diapers was another major milestone. That did not happen till you were 5-1/2 years old.

I have been trying to get you to eat a real vegetable or fruit. You will still eat Stage 3 Gerber baby food bananas.....but that is it. Gone are the days when you would even be willing to take a micro-bite of an apple. Heaven forbid a banana. NO way for a veggie other than perhaps 1/16th of an inch of a bite of a corn kernel or green bean or carrot. You will take a couple 1/16th inch bites of raw carrots sliced in really thin strips. Everything still has to be so-so. So hot or not. So brown or not too brown. So salty or not. Pepper or not. Mushy or not. It can be hard to keep up with all the specifics!

But we are making it. As you get older you are slowly branching out more. You will now eat my homemade chocolate chip cookies which is something you never would have dared do 18 months ago! You have licked chocolate off your hands the other day from the muffin mix and liked it! In the past you would not have even wanted the chocolate mix to come into contact with your hands.

I know over time things will all fall into place. I guess that is one reason why I tend NOT to worry too much about you. Somewhere in the back of my mind I know you will do just fine.

I love you....forever I will.

mommy :X

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

note to self


I have to stop saying "damn it" when I have something go wrong. I never used to cuss...not at all! EVER! AND somewhere along the last year or so I have actually said some cuss words from time to time. Lately it seems every time something goes wrong or I drop something or smash something out comes "damn it!"

Unfortunately NOAH now is saying "damn it" anytime something goes wrong for him....and has told me "well you say it mommy" which proves that yes.......they do really pick up things from us.

I have noticed a trend lately...less than desirable one......whever Noah crashes his trains he now will say "damn it" at the end of whatever else he is saying. When I DO something myself and he hears me groan before I can even get it out he will even yell out a "damn it" FOR ME!

yeah.....out of the mouths of babes. I explained to him while he was taking a bath tonight that while they were not really bad words......it was not the best choice to use when you are frustrated by something. I told him I was going to start using "darn it" or "oh shoot"....and he told me to NOT use "shoot" but instead "darn it!" SO......I told him he could use that too and we both agreed.

next thing you know.....I dropped the softsoap off the sink in the bathroom and he heard me groan......and I caught myself......I just sighed.......he grinned....

Lord help us all......

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Dear Noah:






Today was the first day back to homeschooling for you. You were like a sponge....and so enjoyed it all. I LOVE to teach you.....I absolutely love it. I enjoy all the school stuff and projects and learning things right alongside you!

As part of your schoolwork this year I am teaching you basic life skills. At least starting them. I think it is important you learn the basics......how to cook and clean and do laundry and keep a bank account and pay bills. Today we started the cooking portion. You made me breakfast! You chose Pillsbury Double chocolate fudge chip muffins. You got out all the ingredients and put them in the bowl. I had to break the eggs for you. BUT I told you as long as you could read you could cook! You did very very well. Even putting on oven mitts and popping the muffins into the oven and taking them out when done. Here are some pictures of the finished products!

We also are working on lots of mixed media projects this year. I want to make our own newspaper or magazine....definitely a monthly newsletter. Today we decided to start making up TRAIN books since you love them so much and are collecting so much about them. You printed off pictures of train locomotives and colored them in and we punched holes through them and put them together with a binder you designed and decorated. You were very proud of it as you should be!

You then wanted to make your own lunch which you did. Garlic toast and spaghetti sauce. Seldom do you ever eat spaghetti with the sauce these days...just a ton of sauce to drip the bread into! Again you did very well. You wanted to extend school by over an hour to do that as another cooking project! I think I forgot to take pictures of that. We are going to put all the pictures of you with a story into a book. You also painted some paintings of train crossings which we will have to post later. They were amazing water colors and very accurate yet simple!

Anyway.......lots to do. I love you...and the muffins were excellent!

mommy :X

Monday, January 08, 2007

Sunday, January 07, 2007

christmas past...

Dear Noah:




We made it over to my sister Melissa's house to visit Saturday afternoon and evening. Noah and his cousin Audrey had a blast playing together......well...we all did. We really enjoyed the visit a lot. The pictures above were cute....Noah and Audrey were snuggling on the sofa together watching movies....this made my brain temporarily flash forward as they looked a bit too grown up here....and I could envision Noah with his girlfriend someday with his arms around her like that. WOW!

In most of the photographs I took he had his arms around her......but rarely had his hands touching her...remnants of the constant reminders left over from his teachers from his prior public school days and us ......always constantly telling him "hands off" or "everyone has their space" and to "not touch people too much" (because he used to love to give hugs and touch a lot and the teachers at school did not like that and wanted to teach him immediately that THIS would be unacceptable social behavior). PLUS he rarely "grasps" things or presses his hands OPEN and flat on a person or object...he tends to always have his hands in fists or his thumb tucked into his fist... He did snuggle with Audrey and they were giggling a lot. Here is a videoclip of them playing footsie under the blanket...hilarious.....



we had a great time. The cat was a trip too....he would make a good halloween cat.....all black with the coolest eyes! Noah and the cat really clicked which thrilled him to no end!

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We ended up ordering pizzas for supper......more visiting...more playtime and movies for the kids......Noah loved his visit too because they live close to a RR crossing....he was in heaven checking out the trains every 20 minutes to 1 hour as they flew in and back out of town. On the way home we captured a videoclip of the train as we timed it perfectly for the RR crossing to come down and we waited on a train. It was dark but he was so excited....with the lights and signals and horn blasting:

Friday, January 05, 2007

Dear Noah:


Last night on the way home from grandma C.'s house you wanted to listen to an "adult" praise and worship CD. I popped it on the car stereo and you were so thrilled because it reminded you of all these songs you used to sing in Colorado. You wanted to bring it inside and listen to it on the tv's stereo.....you were so happy. You said to me in your bedroom before bed after listening to the music: "I feel like my old self again.....like me when I was in Colorado!"

I have heard of the importance of music for all of us......not just children. Listening to different types of music can take you back to a mindset of a previous time in your life that was very happy or the opposite, very sad. When you are trying to fight depression or anxiety it is important to listen to music that makes you feel good and reminds you of how you CAN feel at your best. Soon you will actually be feeling the way the music reminded you of how you once felt.

A bit confusing but it works!

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Grandma's Quit




Noah and I went to see grandma C. last night. We took her some Kentucky Fried Chicken for supper. We had a nice visit as we always do when we go to see her. Grandma and I visited for a bit while still sitting at the kitchen table after our meal. I have found out some amazing things about grandma since I came back to Ohio last February. While in Colorado prior to that we talked once or twice per week on the telephone, but coming back and actually spending quiet times with her has been a real eye opening experience. I have learned a lot about her I did not know.

Grandma still sews a lot....used to make a lot of quilts and she crocheted afghans. She had a bunch of quilts but had given them all away or sold them off. All but this last one which is HUGE! This was the LAST quilt she ever made......she made it back in 1999......and originally for her husband...grandpa C......back in March of 1999. She told me that he had told her when she was done with it that "this one is for me!" So she "marked it" as such on the back with a label. Grandpa C. has since passed on...and she decided last night she wanted me to have that quilt. Since grandpa died a few years back she has slowly started to return things to people in the family who gave her things....so they would have them in case something happened to her. She will sometimes ask you "is there anything you see that you would like to have to remember me and grandpa?" I took home an old hurricane oil lamp one Easter after a vacation back to Ohio. It was one of the first ones they had when they set up "housekeeping" as she called it (or what we would commonly know as "starting out" after getting married). My grandma was 13 years old when she married my grandpa who was 17. Grandma was already pregnant with my mom. Looking back at their pictures they certainly looked older than 13 and 17....perhaps because they were forced to do so much and lived a harder life? Their house was filled over time with lots of things....grandpa was quite the collector. It was filled with plates and clocks the most along with a ton of other antiques. Most of all it was always filled with a great sense of love and OPEN armed welcomeness to anyone.

My grandma C. is like a second mother to me......and sometimes more like my own mother to me (no offense Mom). I love her immensely and when she told me she wanted me to take that quilt I was thrilled she would even consider giving it to me.

This caused me to think about what we value in life and why. It reminded me that some of the things we might collect now will really mean nothing much as we get older...they are just things. They usually do not have the "history" behind them like my grandma and grandpa C's treasured items do. My Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer collectibles will likely never cause quite the tearful tug that looking at my grandma's quilt will in my heart or others for that matter as we get older.

Thinking back in time over the years as to what I have been given in my life as presents or have acquired over time....the things that seem to mean the most are the things made with someone's own two hands and lots of love. For example, the time grandma invested when stitching each of those stitches on this quilt.....will cause me to stop and think about what my grandma might have been doing on the days she quilted.....what she might have been thinking......what her hopes and dreams may have been....it has become a family heirloom. It will immediately cause me to think about her......remember her.......remember how wonderful her house always smells.

I have a few things like that, that I treasure and have stored away in a box. I guess most of us do. Scraps of this and that....my first doll...old trading cards....things that meant something to me when I was little and as I got older. Newspaper clippings of world events down to family births, deaths, and funeral announcements. Old Life magazines that interested me....old childhood toys. But I am still not sure they will cause the reaction in anyone that the antiques do in me when I see them from my grandmother's house.

Grandma C. has told me many times that she has journals......books she has written her thoughts and rants in over the years. I know where they are hidden......I would love to read them now. Last night she had the nerve to say she should probably get rid of them because sometimes she wrote not too nice things about someone in the family. I asked her if we all had our own BOOK with our names on the front that she would turn to when she was upset with us and instead of verbally telling us in person what she thought she would just go write it out and get it out of her system! She just laughed...so who knows what GEMS are awaiting us all one day. I told her to NEVER toss them....they are HER...what makes up HER....her thoughts.....her dreams and hopes......her pain and secrets......we would all love to read them one day and why? Because it will give us glimpses into her mind....her INNER mind that she seldom actually lets out in front of other people because for heaven's sake she may ypset someone by what she says. She may think something about someone or a particular situation but she would never dare speak it out loud...so those books are all full of things like that. It makes one more human....to know that even our grandmas......were all just women like us at one point in their life...with hopes and dreams and desires and loves.

I get my writing or need to write in a journal then honest....as grandma C. has done it for years and Dad has done it for years....I cannot go a day without doing it. I MUST write......but I cannot handwrite much these days that is actually legible as my handwriting cannot possibly keep up with my mind and all its thoughts.....so I have turned to typing things on these blog journals or diaries I keep. I CAN type as fast as my mind thinks......

grandma had a great idea. When I told her how I wanted to make some real tangible journals again......but could not possibly handwrite them......she suggested I continue doing my blogging...but print off that page for a particular entry and put those printed pages into a book. What a fabulous idea. I want to take it a step further and even embellish those pages with items relating to particular posts...momentos....

I bet grandma's journals would make an excellent book. Despite the fact that she probably thinks her life is boring or of no interest to many......she would be mistaken. "Grandma's Secrets" would be a most amazing read!

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

embrace life

Family Watch Dog

http://www.familywatchdog.us/

When you visit this site you can enter your address and a map will pop up with your house as a small icon of a house. There will be red, blue and green dots surrounding your entire neighborhood. When you click on these dots a picture of a criminal will appear with his or her home address and the description of the crime he or she has committed.

The best thing is that you can show your children these pictures and see how close these people live to your home or school.

This site was developed by John Walsh from Americas Most Wanted. This is another tool we can use to help us keep our kids safe.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Dear Noah:

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I will never understand how anyone would not want to be around you. It is still very hurtful to realize there are family members who just cannot handle you....or don't want to or give the impression they feel that way. Or even worse.......are afraid of you for some weird reason.

I am tired of all that.......but more thankful you are too naive to totally understand what surrounds you. Sometimes I wish I did not "get it" as loud and clear as I do.

Let's win that dream home in Colorado and move back....and take grandma C. with us!

i love you noah..........always.....

mommy :X

Monday, January 01, 2007

Dear Noah:


Noah and Grandma C.'s birthdays

Well you made it through your birthday party pretty well. I had little time to actually take any pictures of you......or anyone else during that time....sorry about that. Once everyone who was coming actually arrived you came up to me and said "Mommy...I don't want anyone to be here....just Melissa and Audrey (your aunt and cousin)......tell everyone else to go home now."

I proceeded to explain to you how everyone had come to celebrate your birthday......and to give you presents and have cake and ice cream. You went back to your room. Pretty soon you opened your presents and had some cake....well...the icing off your cake......and then everyone but Melissa and Audrey left.......so you got your wish I guess. You enjoyed playing with her a lot. She had a doll she brought along. A BOY doll that was anatomically correct and would PEE. Needless to say we all had to check that out. Audrey is only 6 and also getting very "curious"...she is such a trip and so much fun to be around. We ordered pizza and had a good time. You ate by yourself in your room......already overwhelmed with everyone being there only for a couple of hours. Audrey and you played some more....after we had official "girl talk" at the kitchen table over pizza. I cannot believe the PRESSURE put on kids these days.......and at 6! It made me more thankful I homeschool you.

You and Audrey got to talking about you being homeschooled...you told her you go to school at home....and that your mommy was your teacher. All Audrey said was "I wish I were you." It made me feel good and at the same time a bit sad that Audrey has to face all that crap in the public school system around kids......there is plenty of time for that......I certainly don't remember worrying about weight or popularity at 6. It is sad. BUT we had a good time. I got to spend a lot of time talking with my sister Melissa which I really enjoyed. I have missed being able to talk or do things like that.

DURING Melissa and Audrey's visit you had to go to the bathroom a couple of times. Now when it is me and you around the house you will take your pants and underwear off in your bedroom and run to the bathroom to even pee. Well the fact that Audrey was in your room when the urge struck you did not cause you to change your behavior any. You took your jeans and underwear off and ran to the bathroom not thinking anything inappropriate......I asked Audrey where you were. In the bathroom....there laid your pants and underwear on the floor. When I asked her if you took them off in your bedroom she just grinned and said yes....I told her I guess she got to see the REAL thing today instead of just her doll. I am sure she will have a lot to share with her girlfriends at school! hahahaha. Oh my. This is one example of how you still have no clue that what you did was actually inappropriate. At grandma C.'s many times you would take your jeans and underwear off in the living room and run to the bathroom. I finally have you going INTO the bathroom there and taking your clothes off and PUTTING THEM BACK ON before coming out of the bathroom. I tried to explain to you any time you are around other people even in your own home that your private areas needed to remain private and to go INTO the bathroom first before taking off your jeans or underwear to use the restroom and putting them back on before coming back out of the bathroom.

sigh............That cute little interactive puppy dog I got you was a hit. You love it. You have named him Oscar. It does so many things and looks so amazingly real! I have some video clips but they are too long to upload. I will have to take some shorter ones and post so everyone can see it.

I am writing this on New Year's Day. We both actually stayed up to see the BALL fall in Times Square. You asked me when the ball would go back up again........I told you not till they get it ready at the end of this new year. We had a few snacks.........laid around in our jammies all day. Snoozed off and on......it was very nice.

This is a first for me.......but I am actually ready to take down all the Christmas decorations and stuff now. I want to get things put back in order and things put away and then have time to spend getting this office/classroom in order.

anyway my little man......who has most recently been telling me you can DO IT ALL BY yourself........i love you........and happy new year!

mommy :X