Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Dear Noah:

You are all excited about it being the FIRST DAY OF SUMMER. You wanted to go swimming cause it is the first day of summer. But this morning is not the warmest yet and personally I am not in the mood to go by the pool to sit in the hot weather later. Not with my migraine!

So....you put on some SUMMER clothes. You asked me to make you a SUMMER LUNCH. I am sure the theme for the day will be FIRST DAY OF SUMMER!

I asked you if daddy made you sad or mad. You said sometimes. I asked what daddy did to make you said. You said "he told me I was not recording something but I was".

I asked you if mommy made you sad. You said" NO...you are a good person".

I asked you if daddy was a good person and you said" NO....cause he tells me I am not recording".

Interesting for all to read I believe as this should show you that an autistic child looks at things a lot differently than another child might.

(Noah loves his daddy....don't get him or me wrong. He loves being around him and even though he sets him off many times he still enjoys being around him. I hope that lasts but over time if Keith is not careful Noah may get to the point where he won't want to be around him as he will realize he overloads his system too much for him to handle. Age will hopefully help Noah and he will learn how to handle a lot of things he just cannot handle now). I guess time will tell.

Regardless Noah mommy loves you. I am thankful you think I am a good person and I am sure it is because I UNDERSTAND you. Daddy is a good person too...he just has a harder time understanding you...though I think he is trying.

You are now sitting quietly and happily recording stuffed animals on the kitchen table and your toys from Burger King. They are dancing. Daddy ran to Target by himself. The stress in the house is immediately gone. BUT it creates more stress for me as I realize the main source and now what am I supposed to do with that information?




Anonymous said...

Maybe it would be nice if Daddy worked days, and by the time he got home from work in the evening it would be getting close to Noah's bath and bedtime. Has he read all the information about austim that he can, perhaps he needs to take a few classes to deal with the frustations that the little fellow is going through and save wear and tear on your system and Noah's. I understand it must be very frustration for all of you, but he should be able to see and understand what is happening and STOP before it gets started. Good luck with both husband and Noah. Make sure you get plenty of rest so you can continue to care for the little man. Love you both, Grandma

Melinda said...

yeah. Well..Keith working the shift he is actually is the ideal situation for us all. He and I both changed shifts so we could all be together as a family in the mornings and part of the mid day.

I enjoy that and so does Noah and I also enjoy having my nights here alone with Noah. Keith comes home at a decent time so we are not alone at night, etc.

PLUS it would not make any difference WHEN Keith was here. This happens ANY time he is here. He always manages to set Noah off in some form or another pretty much every day.

He has read a lot on autism as he has done some papers for his Masters on it recently. However, I think he cannot retain it for long.

He had just told me today he GOT it and KNEW how to talk to Noah. I think he tries but he still most days does not have a clue.

SO......this is just how it is for now. Hopefully it will get better over time. I have told Keith he will never be able to talk to Noah like he would another regular 6 year old kid. Noah is different and you have to talk to him differently sometimes in order for him to be able to maintain an even keel. THAT is what Keith cannot grasp.

Anyway....love you too.

Notta Wallflower said...

It makes me sad to see how much stress there is. I agree with Noah's grandma - education is a good way to learn to deal with things. I won't give any other advice because I think that blogging is a good "therapy" - a way to get out frustrations as well as share your joys.

By the way, how on earth do you add audio files to your blogs? I love that you do that - it makes your blog more personal. :-)

Melinda said...

Hey there Jen! Well Keith and I both have been very well educated in autistic spectrum disorders trust me. We have been dealing with these issues now since Noah was 18 month old. More so over the past 3 years after he entered the public school system (though he is no longer in that).

We have done a lot of research as the professionals out there DO NOT provide you with any. We have enough files of information now and records for Noah to fill an entire filing cabinet. We belong to many support groups and those have also been helpful.

I think Keith has made tremendous progress with Noah and is slowly understanding more...but he has a long way to go. Course there will always be times even with me that things will set Noah off unpredictably. That is the nature of autism. As Noah gets older he will be able to learn how to handle things a bit better or at least find ways of his own to COPE some.

For now it is a struggle but not an uncommon one as I am finding out from our support group members. Seems they have all had to go through similar situations or are STILL going through them.

It just goes with the territory. However, I will do whatever I can to reduce the stress level. BUT that also includes ME. SO we have our work cut out for us.

You can post audio clips using AUDIO BLOGGER. If you go to the HELP section and type in audio blogger or audio posts it should tell you what to do. It basically comes down to you calling a number and then over the phone recording anything you want audio-posted to your blog. You pick the blog you want it to go to. You have to set this up first....but they provide you with directions and it is fun and easy to do!

Melinda ;)

Notta Wallflower said...

Thanks Melinda - I was hoping to add audio without using the phone. I wanted to blog about my son's guitar lessons. It's so fun to be able to do so much with blogging and a great way to have something recorded for posterity's sake. :-)

My hat's off to you and your husband - keep your chins up. :-)