Sunday, March 01, 2015

Dear Noah....your big school project for the year....building your own gaming PC

Well...this year you were planning on me buying you a gaming PC or at least going in half for one. The problem was hard to find one that you wanted for the price we wanted to spend. We talked about building on a few times....and checked parts...videos online about it..did a lot of research..and finally decided to just DO IT. We ordered all the parts...everything came...and we spent a Sunday putting everything together and hooking it up. Monday we spent tweaking things and adding software and updates...and finally were ready to test it out. You were sooooo excited and it was actually pretty fun building this computer with you and it was MUCH cheaper than buying one already built. You were able to personalize it to suit you too. Enjoy it! I say you get an A for this project!

Sunday, February 01, 2015

Dear Noah.....hum.......

You are growing up.....and you have made a few good friends online now that you talk with every day and play videogames with....and lo and I find out is a girl...and you two like each other.......a LOT! Not sure if I am ready for all that yet but I guess it does not really matter because that stage of life for you has already come to fruition!

I am filled with wonder when I think about your future...and what might come to pass and where you might end up or who you might be with one day or date or marry and what you will do for a career.....and how it will all come to pass.  You have come so far in your are like a totally different person now. I guess we all do that as we grow up and get older.

AND being your mother...I hope and pray the very best for you and that hopefully  you can avoid having your heart get broken at any point in your life.

Friday, January 02, 2015

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Train coming through Union City, Indiana .........

You were very excited as tonight when we went to Union City, Indiana to Harter Park to see their 4 Million Christmas Light also got to see 3 trains coming through town. Here is 1 of the videos you recorded

Dear Noah...where has my little man gone?

I cannot believe in a couple of weeks you will turn 16. Where has the time gone? We have been through so much together...and when I look at you is hard to believe you are the same "little" man you once were. You are growing into quite the young man now. I love you so much Noah.....and even though I see a very tall, young adult man standing in front of me now....I will never forget that little man you once were.

All my love.....always and the moon and back again.....forever and ever and ever.


Friday, November 28, 2014

Dear Noah....your new big Christmas tree for your room

Last year after Christmas we went to K-mart and you picked out a tree that was on sale...for like 25.00. It was prelit and 6-1/2 or 7 feet tall. This year we decided to put that tree in your room and you decorated the entire tree yourself. I think you did a fabulous job too!

I look at you in the photograph I took and realize how much older you  have gotten already. You are turning into quite the  young man now. I still cannot believe in a few weeks you will turn 16 years old already.

I love you!


Sunday, September 21, 2014

Dear could not go back to sleep after dreaming about elevators....

I woke up this morning off and on like I always do...for some reason woke up again about the time I normally would for work...around 3:30 a.m.....and I looked across the room and saw something...looked like white glowing legs....on the bottom near the floor but dark on top. Hum....I thought, "Should I open my eyes further and look better to see what MIGHT be there?" My mind still had not totally decided that was a good idea, but my eyes did not hesitate and they looked up...up my eyes went and tried to focus...and then I realized Noah was standing there leaning against the wall. I asked him how long he had been standing there. He said, "A half hour." I said, "A half hour? WHY? Why did you not say anything to me and just stand there? Why did you not even try to wake me up?"

Noah has done this off and on since he was very little. I know it has a lot to do with his autism and just not really either knowing what to do in that situation or not knowing how to "explain" it to me.....(and now I think he is afraid he will wake me up) so he will often just come to the side of my bed or wherever I am sleeping and just "stand there." No words...just stands there. He told me he had actually been out in the kitchen before standing there in the living room beside me sleeping on the sofa.

I guess he was having a very hard time sleeping. It sounds like he had a dream where he was going up and down in elevators and checking elevators out (which he LOVES) and his arms and legs were MOVING and it woke him up. Once awake...his mind obsessed on the elevators and he could not put those thoughts away for the night so he could sleep. ALSO a very common issue for people with autism....and many other people as well. Noah used to basically not sleep much at all....could not get his mind to be "quiet" so he could "sleep." I worked with him on many methods to get around this including but not limited to (lol), telling yourself it was "okay" to put all those thoughts away for the night in an imaginary box beside your bed where the next day you could open the box and take all those same thoughts BACK OUT and begin thinking about them again, but that your "mind" needed some quiet time to sleep and rest. This actually worked for him. He said now he can usually "quiet" his mind and free it up from thoughts so he can go to sleep...but after the elevator dream he could not. I guess he did not know what to do. So he came out and "stood."

He said he calls nights like this when he cannot sleep "hotel nights" ...because when we used to go to hotels during our travels back and forth from Colorado to Ohio on vacations we would spend time in hotels (which he loves doing to this day) and he was always so excited he would usually NOT be able to sleep and would get up and look out the hotel window off and on all night...and finally, eventually be able to go back to sleep. I guess there are times now when he will wake up in his bedroom....look out the window a few times...and finally he can fall asleep on his own.

The other night he got up...and I swore he was up...I was working...I called out to him...he never responded. I finally got up (within seconds) and went to check to see if he was up. I did not see him anywhere. I opened his bedroom door and he was sound asleep. I later found out that day he HAD gotten up...but somehow had gone to the bathroom and got back into bed and back to sleep before I got out of my chair and checked on him? This was like all less than a minute and a half. HE DID hear me call out to him but he never responded.

Anyway.....last night he brought his afghan out to the love seat and folded his long legs and body into a position to try to sleep out there beside me. We talked for a bit. He finally sounded like he was getting tired...and next thing I know he was once again sound asleep.

I cherish moments like these though. Even though I was going to lose some sleep on my one morning I could sleep in.....I was soaking it all up and trying to embed it in my brain as another memory.

One day I know our roles might be reversed...and I just hope he has as much patience and love for me during any difficult times I might I try to always give him..haha..not sure he will....but he would probably HIRE someone else to "tend" to me that might hee hee.

While Noah has made huge strides over his lifetime so far..I know many areas he will need to work on...and that most still revolve around expressive language and learning to use his words to express easily what he is thinking or how he is feeling or what he needs or just what is going on in certain situations. This has never come easily to him and still does not. Sometimes he just does not talk at all because he says it is too hard for him to express what he is thinking. I know it can take him a long time to get something out verbally.

Anyway.....those 2 little white glowing legs were his......and I can say I am certainly thankful they were!

Monday, September 01, 2014

Dear is right around the corner!

I can't believe the summer is basically over and today it is Labor Day already! You will turn 16 years old in December. I can't believe that either! You could be driving a car now..but have decided you would rather wait until you are at least 16...can't believe that as well!

Where has the time gone? I have told you many times life is a series of blinks...the year goes by in blinks. Well...reaching Labor Day was a blink...and we  have a few basic blinks now till the end of this year!

Blink...and it will be fall....Blink and it will be Halloween...Blink...Thanksgiving...Blink...Christmas and your birthday...

Blink...another new year.

If you go by the major holidays or season changes as the basic blinks of life....there are only 12 or 13 on average per year. AND THEY GO BY SO QUICKLY!

So....guess what? will be starting up again....ready or not here we come!

I love little man who is growing up and sometimes a grumpy little typical teenage man....who probably thinks his mama is not very smart and he knows everything...

but I still love you....oh where or where has my little man gone? (I know you are still in there somewhere!)