Update on people/kids downstairs

Well I held off on allowing Noah to get involved with the kids downstairs. I mean we don't know the couple and their kids are only 3 and 1 year olds. However, that would not normally even be a problem for Noah as when he wants to he can play with smaller kids.

To make a long story short, yesterday we had the windows open and I kept smelling something. At first it smelled like incense. I wondered about that and wondered if someone was doing something to try to DISGUISE the smell of something else as in a lot of cases (though not all) incense can be used for that purpose. Now don't get me wrong. I like incense though it is a bit too smokey for me!

Anyway...later on I kept smelling a smell and it got stronger and stronger. I walked out to our balcony door and man.....the smell was overpowering! Someone downstairs was smoking POT. YEAH...POT.

We are so familiar with the smell as we had problems with that kind of crap when we lived at the apartment complex. Now while I know we cannot control everyone in the world or even our own little world or those immediately living around us, we do live in a so-called "controlled community" which means even obnoxious smells of ANY kind let alone against the law kinds, are forbidden.

Not sure what if anything can be done about this. I have already sent an email to the HOA to notify them to contact the owner about his problem. These people are the same ones who had not been here 2 weeks and the landlord/owner had to come out to try to collect rent as they were behind over 2 weeks in paying their first full month's rent there. Maybe they won't be here long which is what I was suspecting from day one, which was another reason I did not want to allow Noah to get too attached to playmates as if they up and left he would be devastated.

SO this just goes to show you....once again...I guess you never really know about others in the world. You don't always know who your kids's friends are and what their families are like do you? Unless the person is a relative (and even then you don't always know I guess).....anyone your kid sees could pose a dangerous situation. I think most times you can pretty much tell about people. But we hear horror stories all the time at the hospital about kids getting their heads blown off because they went to someone else's house to play and there was a gun they found and played with and it went off. OR the parents are doped up and/or drinking and/or BOTH and are oblivious to what is really going on in their home. Or the kids find drugs and OD on them or kill themselves inadvertently because they have no idea what they are messing with.

SO I am thankful we did not allow Noah to go downstairs to play with those kids. I mean I don't want him around that kind of lifestyle or be exposed to it if I can help it. That was one reason we moved from the apartment. I don't want him to be around someone who is not watching him and cannot guarantee they can keep him safe as they cannot apparently even keep themselves safe as their own senses are dulled because of POT or alcohol.

So that is the update on that situation. I choose to go to a neutral place such as a park to allow Noah to meet and play with friends. I have no desire to now or ever allow him to go to someone else's house as long as he cannot make good judgements on his own. If he never has that ability he will always have to have someone with him to help him make good decisions. I hope and pray he will be very smart in this area as time goes on and instinctively KNOW things about other people and situations he may be in. However, many autistics struggle with that their entire lives.

So this was an FYI.

Dear Noah:

Well after a couple week break I have more school work planned out for you to do here at home this week. You were so excited about restarting it you did about 6 worksheets of things last night.

You really seem to LOVE fractions and can understand that concept. Course you are a visual learner and that is how you are being taught about fractions. Word problems will be a bit more challenging for you I think. You are a great reader but the COMPREHENSION is what is problematic for you although you have greatly improved.

Anyway, you have had a trying couple of weeks. You have not wanted to go anywhere for fear "you would have too many strangers around you". So we have been pretty much homebound for a couple of weeks....only venturing out long enough to make a quick run somewhere...or just Mommy or Daddy going somewhere and the other staying home with you. SO unlike you...but very common in the autistic world!

OKay.........I don't think anyone saved this video clip...but I found out yesterday you had taken my digital camera into the bathroom and RECORDED yourself peeing and then the toilet water flushing and swirling down. You thought it was hilarious while I was watching the clip and HORROR came over my face when I saw the ANGLE to which you were recording the toilet water being flushed as I realized MY CAMERA could have fallen down into the water!

I have told you in the past the bathroom was OFF LIMITS for recording ANYTHING. I told you that before but I guess you snuck in there and did it anyway.

You are something. Some of the things you come up with to FILM and record are unique. Like rolling the camera over and over in your hands you say to "make it look like you are riding on a roller coaster". You try really amazing angles....you get on the floor and record toys rolling by the camera. You record ceiling fans and fans up close to see the blades moving around. You put the camera in your big TONKA dump truck yesterday and pushed it across the floor and it filmed (FROM a driver's view point (if he was small enough to fit into the TONKA truck). So you think of things like that ....which I have never thought of and it makes some of your clips quite interesting!

You also made a comment yesterday....I can't remember now what about..but it was using some words we did not know you knew. Nothing bad...but BIG words. Daddy asked me if I had told you those words...I said no.

Your speech is getting a lot better. You speak more slowly for words you have had a hard time with in the past which makes it easier for us to understand you.

Well..I am behind on my work AS USUAL and need to get to it for a bit.

LOVE YOU BUNCHES!!

Mommy

Noah you would love to build a ride like this one!! ;) 

Noah you look scared to death here but you LOVED this slide!! 

Dear Noah:

Last night you were hilarious. You got in bed and then said "I think I am a little hungry...my tummy is really growling". I said it was a little too late to be eating now as you were in BED and you could wait and eat the next day and have a big breakfast!

You said (crying I might add) "I am starving and if I wait till tomorrow my stomach will be so empty I will get sick!" (hahahahah).

Not exactly sure where you got that from but we got you up and fixed you some CLUB CRACKERS and water. Once you had those you acted like you did not need them. You ate maybe 4 and drank some water and got back in bed.

I am sitting here now wondering if you are going to want to go to church today or not. I am already sensing you are not going to want to. You never even got dressed yesterday!

On that note we did have FAMILY TIME many times yesterday which you loved. We got the real backgammon set out and taught you how to play that. DO any other 6 year olds know how to play backgammon I wonder? I doubt it is a common game for your age group. Anyway you did so well you beat the pants off of me and your daddy many times over! You call it "the backgammon game without buttons" as the other one you had been playing was the handheld electronic one.

So anyway...you are such a joy as usual!

Still cloudy and a bit cooler today. I love cooler weather and so do you so it does not upset me. I think everyone else is wondering if we will even have a summer this year! Suits me just fine so far! ;)

Got some caramel rolls in the oven and Hazelnut coffee ready. Course you won't eat the rolls ....I think you said you will have bananas today (of course only Stage 3 baby food bananas as you still cannot tolerate the texture of real bananas). I think some butter bread too you said. One thing for sure you are pretty easy to feed I guess even though you are extremely picky about the textures and smells and tastes! IF we owned a Burger King you would be in heaven cause right now that is your favorite place for chicken nuggets! You won't even eat the chicken nuggets from the store anymore.

I have a crockpot meal planned for today but again you won't eat that so I guess we will be making you something else or picking something up on the way home from church (if you go).

Later Gator!

Mommy loves you!

More on stimming:

I found the below information to post here to offer more insight into stimming. Please see my final thoughts below:

Stereotypic (Self-Stimulatory) Behavior[Stimming]

Written by Stephen M. Edelson, Ph.D.Center for the Study of Autism, Salem, Oregon
[The yellow(changed to orange here) highlighting of words is mine. --KF]


Stereotypy or self-stimulatory behavior refers to repetitive body movements or repetitive movement of objects. This behavior is common in many individuals with developmental disabilities; however, it appears to be more common in autism. In fact, if a person with another developmental disability exhibits a form of self-stimulatory behavior, often the person is also labelled as having autistic characteristics.

Stereotypy can involve any one or all senses. We have listed the five major senses and some examples of stereotypy.

Sense Stereotypic Behaviors

Visual: staring at lights, repetitive blinking, moving fingers in front of the eyes, hand-flapping
Auditory:tapping ears, snapping fingers, making vocal sounds
Tactile: Rubbing the skin with one's hands or with another object, scratching
Vestibular: Rocking front to back, rocking side-to-side
Taste: Placing body parts or objects in one's mouth, licking objects
Smell: Smelling objects, sniffing people

Researchers have suggested various reasons for why a person may engage in stereotypic behaviors. One set of theories suggests that these behaviors provide the person with sensory stimulation (i.e., the person's sense is hyposensitive). Due to some dysfunctional system in the brain or periphery, the body craves stimulation; and thus, the person engages in these behaviors to excite or arouse the nervous system. One specific theory states that these behaviors release beta-endorphins in the body (endogeneous opiate-like substances) and provides the person with some form of internal pleasure.
Another set of theories states that these behaviors are exhibited to calm a person (i.e., the person's sense is hypersensitive). That is, the environment is too stimulating and the person is in a state of sensory-overload.

As a result, the individual engages in these behaviors to block-out the over-stimulating environment; and his/her attention becomes focused inwardly.

Researchers have also shown that stereotypic behaviors interfere with attention and learning. Interestingly, these behaviors are often effective positive reinforcers if a person is allowed to engage in these behaviors after completing a task.

There are numerous ways to reduce or eliminate stereotypic behaviors, such as exercise as well as providing an individual with alternative, more socially-appropriate, forms of stimulation (e.g., chewing on a rubber tube rather than biting one's arm). Drugs are also used to reduce these behaviors; however, it is not clear whether the drugs actually reduce the behaviors directly (e.g., providing internal arousal) or indirectly (e.g., slowing down one's overall motor movement).

Copyright © 1995

(Okay..this I felt would provide more information to those who don't know anything about this type of behavior in autistic children and adults- NOW while I agree with using exercise as a means to help minimize stimming as it will work to a degree, I am not supportive of using drugs. AND exercise or drugs are not a "cure all" for stimming. Autistic people NEED to do these things in order to remain SANE in our world. STOPPING them from doing these things they need to do just to survive in fact would make it so they could not survive comfortably in our world. I don't see any point to that).

AND it has been proven time and time again, that even though for example Noah is stimming and does not appear to be listening or grasping a concept in school or here at home as he appears to NOT be paying attention to you or what you are saying, when tested on this later we find out he indeed DOES grasp and has heard what we have said. Even in preschool they questioned this and found out he indeed did catch things they were saying for example in CIRCLE TIME, even if he would not SIT in the circle but had to walk AROUND the circle the entire time.

AND more............(I am long winded)

AND...haha. Yes...AND....Noah indeed is very true autistically when he makes these sounds.

This is very difficult for anyone to "GET" if they are not around an autistic person all the time or are not autistic themselves. SO hard to understand this. Noah indeed makes sounds walking to the car in the mornings. He made sounds walking up the sidewalk to the school doors "every" day when he went to public school. He made them coming out the school doors when we picked him up all the way to the car. He makes sounds walking up to the library doors or to Target or the grocery store. He also kind of jerks around and MOVES a lot instead of just plain walking. He actually needs to do these things so we let him. When I ask him how he feels he says "I am excited". He always seems to feel excited, which I think is a true description I am sure of how he feels!

I don't try to suppress him as he would not be able to handle going out then at all most likely. I do try to set limits on WHEN or WHERE he can make these sounds and he complies to the best of his abilities. I want him to know it is OKAY for him to be HIM and make these sounds and noises in his room but that most public places he goes to will be considered quiet places and that he will not be allowed to make those sounds there.

MANY people stare and watch and listen and look at Noah on his journeys down the sidewalk to wherever we are going. I ignore them. I am sure they wonder if something is wrong with him. I know some people actually carry cards and say "My child is autistic. What is your excuse?" but I think that might be going a bit too far? hahahah.

I just think silently to myself "yes..there is something different about Noah but right now he is not hurting anyone and he is still outside in the open air and is free to be HIM until we hit that public door and go inside a public place. Then he too will have to learn and try to abide by the rules. However, if he wants to dance down the sidewalk back to the car singing or making his sounds I will always let him. THAT is WHO he is. It is the very essence of his being and to make him stop that would be like trying to extinguish his own individuality. His own life force. I just can't and won't do it.

AND.............

ALSO...sound making is something pretty common in most autistics. So Noah's sounds also have a lot to do with that. AND I imagine it is tied into his sensory integration issues as well.

I AM thankful he can control them to a point and at least usually hold off on doing them in his room. We let him make as many sounds as he wants on the way walking into a public place like the library, church or a store. He can jerk around and make sounds and do what he wants but as soon as we hit the doors we say "okay, now it is quiet time" and he actually stops making sounds and can usually maintain being quiet the entire time we are in the store or library, etc. Once out however the process starts again and he is like FREE......he will make his sounds and jerk around instead of plain walking to the car. He is HIMSELF and very happy.

Just So Everyone Also Knows...

Just so everyone understands:

Noah makes these sounds too at times (well most times I guess) for no apparent reason. I don't want to mislead everyone and make you all think he only makes these sounds after driving somewhere or for "a reason". Noah makes a variety of sounds and does on a daily basis. Over and over and time and time again. MOST times for NO apparent reason and nothing has happened to cause him to make a sound. He just seems to need to do it. So we let him. It seems to calm him down. I can totally GET it when he does the more mild humming type sound that sounds similar to what people do when they meditate. However, when he does these more intense sounds it is hard for us to understand how that can actually be calming to him though it is.

So anyway, I understood some of the sounds he made after our trip and WHEN we drive anywhere even now. However, the clips below were MONTHS after the trip to Ohio and driving anywhere. He was just sitting in his room playing on his computer and making those sounds.

Okay.....hope that clears it up! ;)

Noah's Sound Clips Below

So anyway..the sounds clips below are of Noah making some of the sounds he makes. Now when we first got back from our trip to Ohio from Christmas a couple of years ago he was making these sounds almost continuously. I mean he went on and on and on, over and over and over. He would sit in his room playing on his computer and still be making these sounds. He would try coming out to the living room and make these sounds but I could not take hearing them 24/7 so I told him he could make the sounds but had to to do it in his own room (as it got to me after awhile!). So he did. He would stay in his room and make these sounds so long that he would get a hoarse voice!

I know when we traveled back from Ohio he started making these sounds....especially when driving in the VUE over the highway and over bridges. I now know he was duplicating the same sounds and hums the tires make over the road as we drove over them! Took me forever to get that one. Anyway...I figured it would STOP once we got home from our trip but it did not. He brought the same sounds into the house and made them everywhere. He did this for about 4 -6 months straight.

OVER TIME however, he finally started to have less episodes where he would make these intense sounds, but instead make more laid back more meditative "humming or moaning" type sounds. Now when we still drive places, especially when we are driving my VUE, he will still make all the sounds effects that go along with driving over roads, passing road signs, passing cement bridge walls, etc. AND if you listen real carefully, the sounds he makes do parallel the real sounds the truck's tires and body are making as they drive over the road or it passes brick wall dividers, etc.

When I first let my boss at work hear these clips during a time when I was about to my breaking point from listening to these sounds over and over she kind of looked wild-eyed and said it was creepy and reminded her of the excorcist. She kept asking "is that really Noah?" BUT it is not really creepy once you understand why he makes the sounds. But it can be like Chinese water torture if you are in the same room with someone who does this for HOURS ON END! hahahaha.

Anyway....I had posted a previous clip of Noah stimming and making sounds more like his usual hum he makes now but I had never posted any of these older clips of his more intense sounds.

Now Noah pretty much sticks to the lesser humming-type sounds rather than the prior intense sounds. There are times he will make the other sounds when he is playing or even just sitting in his room but it is not the daily, hour by hour, minute by minute intense episodes he had for about 4-6 months straight.

SO there you have it!

(HEY NOAH...MOMMY STILL LOVES YOU SOOOOO MUCH!!)

Dear Noah:

So I finally pulled you over this morning to talk to you and ask you some questions, which of course you hate! Especially questions about WHY or HOW you feel about something. I have noticed this past week that you don't want to do anything or go anywhere. You have not even wanted to get out of your PJs on most days let alone brush your hair or teeth. I have wondered why. I have also noticed that for the past week or so you seem to not be so willing to give me a kiss on the lips. When I ask for a kiss you come over and then never give ME an actual kiss but instead turn your head and push it into my face or head. You wait for me to kiss YOU. I ask for a kiss on the lips and it is like pulling teeth to get you to do this. You used to give those kisses all the time. You still occasionally will especially for Daddy. But for some reason lately you seem to be backing off on that.

I have heard about regression in autistic kids. I always thought that was more for the speech/language aspect but also know it can be other things such as being around people, etc.

I pulled you over and asked you today WHY you did not want to go anywhere this week. Yous still don't understand the concept of why. SO I tried asking you "how does it make you FEEL to go to the store or the library". You understood this and started to cry. You said you did not want to go anywhere because too many strangers were all around you. Well, that made sense to me. I know at the park this week you had an episode with that other kid riding his bike past you that freaked you out. You also hurt your leg again. We usually go to the library now on Fridays (TODAY) as it is not crowded. However, you did not even want to go there this morning. You did not want to go to the store or Target. NO where. You said you wanted Burger King for lunch but Daddy could bring it HOME to you. I told you that driving through the drive through there are no other people or strangers around as you are in the car with Mommy and Daddy only. You said you could do THAT but that was the ONLY place you would go.

I DID coax you into getting dressed and getting your teeth brushed and hair brushed. I had to threaten you with NOT being able to record today all day if you did not get dressed or brush your teeth, etc. That worked even though you had a fit in the process. You did end up getting dressed and doing your basic hygiene stuff. However, if I would have pressed the issue and told you you had to go somewhere in order to record I think you would NOT have done that. You literally cry today and have every day anytime we even suggest you go somewhere.

So now what to do... if anything. I am not sure. I know this is all part of the way you are. I can live with that but...I also wonder about your future if you want to stay holed up in the condo all the time. Maybe it is just fleeting and this too will pass and something else will take its place. That has happened many times over.

I wonder if you might be depressed? I know the doctor also diagnosed you with generalized anxiety disorder. She said you were anxious about everything all the time. How exhausting that must be. But I see you many times during the day and you are not anxious about anything. You seem very content and calm here at home. Maybe that explains WHY you want to stay home all the time. To remain calm and safe and content? HUM.......that is a lot to think about. Also makes me rethink going ahead and applying for the Colorado state Medicaid Waiver and SSI for you now. I guess it is possible as you get older you will need additional support.

Well...now I am anxious. Daddy went to run all the errands this morning so I could stay home with you. You are off in your room recording yourself playing Roller Coaster Tycoon. Most times you prefer eating in your room too by your computer. SO breakfast and lunch and supper it is not uncommon to find you sitting there at your PC and eating your meal alone. This seems to make you happy and content. SOMETIMES I get you to come out or MAKE you come out and eat with us. You used to do it all the time at lunch at least. Lately I have allowed you to just go ahead and eat lunch in your room too. I guess I should still keep you coming out here with us for at least that one meal every day.

Now I have a lot to think about.

I love you!

Mommy

Dear Noah:

Well you have not wanted to go anywhere the past 2 days. You have not even wanted to get out of your PJs and/or brush your hair or teeth. In your words, "I'm not going anywhere today". I eventually either coax you to get dressed or at least brush your hair and teeth. What was just an occasional thing is now something you want to do every few days for a couple days at a time. Now today is Friday....EAT OUT day as you say...so I imagine you will WANT to get dressed so you can go out.

I wonder about these episodes and if there are fleeting or something new you are starting? I don't worry too much about them at least for now, as I personally don't care if there are days when you would prefer staying in your PJs all day. However, am I wrong for doing that?

I guess time will tell.

RAINING and so nice and great sleeping weather. Guess that is why you are still in bed!

I LOVE YOU my little sweetie pie!

Mommy

Dear Noah:

So...they all keep saying how you are all about MOVEMENT and cannot sit still and have to constantly move to be happy or just BE in the world. I have been noticing that occasionally. Last night we were reading some library books. That is already a bad time for you as you are getting tired and have been overloaded all day. We did not go anywhere that day however, not to a park, not to a store, not anywhere. You wanted to stay home. We did. SO on those days I have noticed sometimes you are even worse at night and require more movement than you would if you had gotten out that day to play.

Anyway, we were reading books on the sofa. Problem was you could not actually SIT to listen to the stories. I finally decided to not say anything and see what you would do. I sat and read and you proceeded to lay stomach first over the arm of the sofa, and fall down to the floor on the other side, get back up, throw yourself back on the sofa and do the same thing all over again. OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER. I lost track of HOW MANY times you did this. I would finally tell you to "sit down or I won't read any more stories to you" and you would. For about 2 seconds....and then the entire process would start again. Now I KNOW if we give you a fidget toy to sit and hold or use while we read you CAN SIT. I wanted to see if it was possible for you to SIT and LISTEN without the fidget toy. NO. Plain and simple. NO. I threatened to quit reading to you altogether if you could not sit still. You were very upset about that prospect. YOU FINALLY got a video tape and box it came in and MADE THAT YOUR FIDGET toy. You were able to sit still on the sofa as long as you kept dumping the tape out and putting it back in its box over and over again.

So there are classic examples of repetitive movement you must do just to survive I guess. We have successfully found things to give you to fidget with or even just hold in your hands which do allow you to sit successfully pretty well and for longer periods of time. At church now you don't require much if anything at all to be able to sit through that 30 minute sermon. You don't mind the 30 minute worship portion as you really get into that! We take your backpack filled with all sorts of things you can do including math problems, reading, fidgets, etc. Rarely do you use any for long now however. Most times you can sit well without anything.

So....the experiment really did not teach me much I guess other than you do indeed require an intense amount of movement. It is extremely hard for you to sit still for "listening" to stories. You can sit and read stories yourself without any problems and for long periods of time. SOMETIMES you can even sit and I can read to you without many if any problems.

Anyway, we read a total of 30 BOOKS! That does not include the books you listened and read to on CD and our Bible stories then last night before bedtime! SO I guess that is a lot. Funny, it did not seem like that long of a time to read though.

SO now we can take the books back Friday and pick up some more. Should be fun. I also got you 7 new books on CD to keep here at home and take with us on vacations. Those are so nice to have and I am so glad you are really getting into books on tape and CD!

I need to go for now. I love you my little Noah Wesley!

Mommy

Dear Noah:

So...we were watching a Thomas the Tank Engine video yesterday and there was a part in there where the coaches were "being naughty". You always get a mischieveous grin on your face when you hear that word. I asked you if you knew what it meant. I explained it to you. I then asked you if YOU were ever naughty. You just grinned. I asked if I were ever naughty. You said "no...you are very good and a very good mommy". I asked you if Daddy were ever naughty and you said "yes" and I asked what he did to make him naughty. You said "he always says NO>>>>>>>NO>>>>>>>>>NO>>>>>>>>to me all the time". I said "yeah well he does tell you no a lot doesn't he?" Then you said "then you yell too mommy!" I said "yeah I yell at daddy for yelling at you!"

I guess none of us should be yelling about anything huh?

And with that being said I am signing off for now as I am exhausted!

LOVE YOU Noah!

Mommy

Wish I had recorded you earlier

I wish I had recorded your biking episode earlier Noah. I guess that is a classic example of what I was talking about when I said autistic kids playing at parks or with other kids can be different than just another kid playing with other kids. It would have really captured it and shown others what we meant. While I thought about it when the kid was coming around you on that corner and I had my camera with me, I also was hoping that this time you would do well and respond okay and remain aloof to his presence.

But it was not to be today at least. Now...I have to ask myself, "did you learn anything from today's experience?". I am not convinced. I think if the same scenario played out again you might still be bothered. But you might also now be more aware and think to yourself, "mommy said it is okay for other kids to ride their bikes and they can go around me". But you have this competitive edge about you even when there is no competition going on. SO it would probably still get to you that another kid was passing you up or riding faster than you were.

Anyway....I love you!

Mommy

Dear Noah:

SO.....today we took you to the park to ride your bike. You were all excited and happy. We got there and there were at least 3 huge lawnmower machines buzzing around mowing. Sometimes they scare you or over excite you but you did well. You rode up to where you were going to ride around. You saw 2 other kids and their mommies there already. One kid was probably a year or two older than you and also had a 2 wheeler. As soon as he saw you riding he decided he was going to ride too. You were in your own little world singing and making sounds as you rode around the circle path. Then this other boy asked me if you could race. I was about to tell him No...you were too little but he took off. He kept trying to catch up to you and ride around you, etc. You were oblivious to him...UNTIL..............he finally decided to come alongside you from behind. You had no idea he was even there. You were singing and smiling and happy and pedaling....and here came the other kid trying to pass you up. You came around the corner and the other boy buzzed on past you. You looked at him and stopped right where I was sitting and let out a blood curdling scream! I could see your hands tighten on the handlebars and you were crying and crying. I tried to calm you down and tell you the boy was not chasing you or trying to catch you or race you (when he really was I guess). You kept saying "he was going too fast, he was going too fast". You kept gripping the handlebars and I think if I had not been right there you would have thrown the bike across the sidewalk. But you stayed put on the bike and kept crying and crying. You calmed down and the other mother told her son to quit showing off. He got off his bike and quit riding. I told you that it was okay for other kids to ride their bikes at the park too and if they rode past you to let them get past you and not worry about it...to keep looking straight ahead to where you were going and not pay attention to the others. You took off riding. The others all left. You were once again alone at the park with mommy and daddy happily riding your bike.

This reminded me though of when you took part in the school Fun Run last fall. You always thought you had to be out front and not let anyone pass you. However, with your low muscle tone you did not have the strength to keep that pace up. You got so upset when other kids came too close to you or tried to pass you up. You stuck out your arm and tried to hold them back. Your little body finally gave in to the pressure and sensory overload and you dropped to your knees. Another boy's dad came by walking his son and you grabbed his hand and walked alongside them the rest of the time. I kept trying to tell the teacher and para that you could not handle a FUN RUN and run 20 laps. I guess because we did not have any official diagnoses back then they did not want to hear it? BUT you DID run 11 laps I think and you did them very well!

AND of course back when you went to public school....you felt you always had to BEAT EVERYONE in the front door. SO when we pulled up in the mornings heaven forbid if there were any other kids also walking up at the same time. You would shout "come on, hurry, faster faster, there are kids coming!" and off you would go running full speed ahead to the door. You still do that today when we are walking into the library or Target! We keep telling you it is not a race. To let the others walk past you. This is bothersome to you which I have since found out does bother some autistic people. Even grocery shopping there cannot be other people coming behind us down an aisle or you panic and have to "HURRY HURRY, there are people coming!" all over the place again.

SO you rode your bike for awhile but finally got off and played on the slides. However I noticed you limping. You cannot even ride your bike for long without it bothering your right knee. We have taken you to the doctor to have it checked and he thinks it is due to your low muscle tone. I think they should x-ray it to make sure though I highly doubt that would go well. Not after all the other specialist disasters lately. I would think you could handle it as it would require you just sitting still on a table. Maybe I could be in there with you. Anyway the doctor thinks it is just low muscle tone and a tight hamstring from that and that once you begin physical and occupational therapy it will improve. I worry of course and wonder as you cannot even walk after these episodes and ask to be carried. You did not walk in Target but rode in the cart. Daddy had to carry you to the cart and out of the cart to the car. YOU DID make it up our steps here at home though.

Anyway...you have a long way to go for strength and endurance!

I got you a new Thomas the Tank Engine video. You are watching it now. We came in and you smelled my chicken cooking and you said "mmmm...smells like heaven in here!" Tears welled up in my eyes. You are amazing to me!

I LOVE YOU MY LITTLE MAN!

Mommy

Dear Noah:

Well I am slowly making use of the many autistic groups I had joined on Yahoo. SO helpful! I am meeting new people Noah and some parents of autistic kids who are willing to meet and have play dates! So...eventually we will get all this worked out and have some dates and times set up and we can actually go meet new people and you can play with their kids, as they already understand all my worries and concerns as they have some of the same themselves! Makes it much easier for everyone.

Anyway....now I have to slowly get you out of this recent bad habit you have had of wanting to go to bed so late! Like 10:30 or 11:00 p.m.!! WAY TOO LATE for you my little stinker bubble. SO we will be working on getting you and me back into bed no later than 9:00 or 9:30 p.m. as was our normal routine for so many years! You need at least 10 hours of sleep each night to have a good day the next day. When you stay up till 10:00 or after on rare occasions you rarely sleep in long enough then to get 10 hours so you have more difficult/trying days the next day. NOT fun for anyone.

I still love you though and always will my angel boy!

Mommy

And another thing (yes there is always another thing)

For anyone who has not been around an autistic child, it is not as simple as just letting your child go play with other kids. I wish it were that simple many times but the truth is it is not. There is so many things you have to think about and worry about. You worry your child will run off or hurt another child. MOST times this never happens but occasionally it does. Other parents sometimes look at you like you are not disciplining your child at all. Little do they know. Our lives are nothing but "rules, rules rules". Poor Noah has so many "rules" he has to try to remember or recall to just do basic living things. Most kids naturally KNOW what to do and not to do in certain social situations and play times. Noah does not and has to be taught everything. Then he has to practice those things over and over and over. AND he still may not recall what the correct thing is to do the next time round. He has to try to learn to control his emotions....something he does not even understand. Many and most times he is very lovable and friendly and shares his toys. Other times he freaks at the sight of another child just walking too close to him. There are times he lashes out when another kid tries to play the same thing he is playing. He is getting better at handling these things but he still has many trying moments.

So it is not as simple as saying "yeah okay...Noah you can go play with so and so". "Have fun!". We have to pretty much be present to "monitor" everything at all times. I don't mind this and in fact am now used to it. BUT it can be trying and sometimes it is just simpler to go to a park where there are no other kids playing. BUT I think Noah needs some social interaction.

Anyway...I just wanted to clarify the social outings. It is not quite as simple as other kids have it I guess. We can try to pretend it is all we want but the truth is it is not and it probably never will be.

Always something to think about or worry about:

Okay....I live here Colorado but all my extended family is back in Ohio. Noah is autistic and of course we don't have a social life to speak of out here. My husband's extended family we only see maybe 1-2 times per year or so....it is not like we go to someone's house for dinner every week or every other week or to visit a relative. He is not close to his family and I am but mine are 1200 miles away. I worry about Noah. We are currently home schooling him as the public school setting did not work out for him in Kindergarten. So he is not getting any socialization there. We take him to parks and play areas all the time but you see different kids all the time at those places and lately he freaks out if he sees anyone else coming to the park and has been preferring to play alone with us or leave if other kids come to the park. We go to church every Sunday but we have been hesitant about letting him participate in Kid's Church or Sunday school because of the prior events that happened at the regular school. I guess as a mother I am afraid he will not do well and run away and out of the room and come up missing or push/shove another kid when something happens that might set him off. I imagine one of us would have to be present with him everywhere he goes which is what we have basically done his entire life so far. He is 6 years old now. We do everything together. I would never dream of letting him go anywhere yet by himself or with other kids. He is extremely naive about any social skills and strangers..etc. It is just simpler to keep him with us at all times. BUT I am starting to worry I am making him a social misfit. AM I? I need to protect him but also allow him the opportunity to meet and play with other kids on a regular basis where he can actually "make" a friend. While we go to places all the time he is not making any friends he will ever see again unless by chance we happen across them again at the park one day. I don't mind always having Noah with us. I am used to it and prefer it and love it. My husband I know would like to be able to just go out sometimes just the two of us. We have never let Noah alone with a babysitter. We have never done anything without Noah. Not in his entire life. I cannot even fathom that idea right now. Not with his history of running away at school or around strangers, etc.

Does anyone have any advice to offer to a mother of a 6 year old austic boy as far as what I can do to help him make some friends or play with friends on a regular basis? I did hear about a social group that might get together for the summer for the area we live in. It sounds nice and I guess we could try that. But I would be interested in hearing about anything else any of you have done in the past for yourself or for someone else with autism? I just worry I am not doing nearly enough for Noah. I worry I am not providing him with all he needs. He will be restarting physical therapy, occupational therapy and speech therapy soon. I guess he will make some friends there. But I think that is different. And I don't know how much he will get to do with other kids or just the therapists. I also don't like to make Noah attend social situations he does not want to attend. Many argue with me on this point. They say he "needs it". That "it is the only way he will learn to be more social and like social outings etc". I think that is a load of crap. I don't care how many social outings I have taken him on his entire life he has not changed in that regard. He likes to have outings and do social things most of the time. But there are times he does not want anything to do with them and I don't make him. I cannot see how forcing him to do so would make him learn anything. In fact I think it would have just the opposite effect.

Anyway...I my ears are open...

Dear Noah:

Well....we are having a hard time getting motivated today! Some days you don't even want to get out of your PJs. When asked "why not?" you reply "cause I'm not going anywhere today." Guess that makes sense. I sometimes don't get out of my PJs either...especially on Saturdays lately it seems we don't. I wonder if that is bad or wrong? I don't think so but some people probably would...haha. We usually don't go out much on Saturdays and to be honest we do so much running through the week that by Sat. I think we are all so exhausted I LOOK FORWARD to staying home and resting up!

My neck is stiff and sore today. I think I fell asleep in the car wrong yesterday after church on our way to look at houses. Brother...that is pretty sad Noah when your mommy cannot even stay awake and wakes herself up SNORING! I know chronic sleep deprivation can catch up with you but this is ridiculous!

Anyway.....warm today. I am tired already and I did not even stay up last night/this morning to work...I went back to sleep on the sofa. SO I have MORE work to do and am tired on top of it all.

Sorry Noah. Mommy is doing nothing but complaining it sounds like.

You are busy recording video clips. YOU LOVE recording video and sound clips right now. I am thankful I got that digital camera/recorder before Christmas last year. It has come in handy.

I better go. Lots to do and I think I need a nap before I can do any of them!

LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK AGAIN NOAH!!!

Mommy

Dear Noah:

Well Noah today we are going to look at new homes after church. We have not done it for some time and we decided to get serious about it again. I mean we need to seriously think about selling this condo so we can get a little bit bigger home and an actual HOUSE and not a condo or townhome. It is time. It is past time. We have no space for a classroom for you or a craft room or even a room to combine those 2 things. Everything is piled on top of each other it feels like. We have no garage here. While we like living here it is also older...and time will eventually mean requiring more things to be fixed. Today we found a leak in a hose (thank goodness only the hose) under the one bathroom sink. THANK goodness we had tons of toilet paper under the sink to absorb the water. A hose can be easily replaced but while we are at it we may replace the faucets and get someone to come out and give us an estimate on replacing the floor. We can paint any rooms needing it. BUT some things we will have to hire out. The bathroom has old lineoleum on it now that you cannot pull up so we will hire someone to come out and put new flooring over it I guess. Is not a big space so it should not cost too much.

I am hopeful if we paint a few things and replace a few more things and get all the clutter out of here like the Designed to Sell people say to do....we can sell this place pretty easily. So far however things listed around here don't seem to be selling all that fast. I really don't want to rent it out...but maybe it will come down to that. Others have said it is a wise investment to KEEP the property and rent it out. IF we did that it would make some things a bit easier now...providing we got a rental company to handle everything as they can screen people really well and we would get some good tenants in here! We could refinance to an interest only loan and charge enough rent to easily make that payment and then give us the ability to DOUBLE our payments and pay down the loan faster! Meanwhile this would build up equity in our home super fast and in a few years if the market is better we could sell it or keep it as investment property I guess if that seems a better fit for us in our life. SO I guess that is possible. In order to get a new home now though I think we have to have this place rented or at least a lease signed for like 1 year. The two rentals below us finally rented out. Pretty fast too. SO it is possible I guess.

Well..I need to get ready for church and you ready and then off to house hunt.

LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

Mommy

Dear Noah:

We took some "screamer balloons" to the library park yesterday to test out. They were SO MUCH FUN!!! I will have to film some clips and post some here. They were not loud or irritating like in the past. They make a funny sound now and really FLEW HIGH AND FAR and all around before deflating and falling to the ground. It was so much fun and so funny! You had a ball and we even did some in the house when we got home. Fun there too but they could not fly as far or get around as much.

I then tried those skinny balloons to make animals and stuff but I am not very good at that yet. I am a bit leary about twisting the balloons once blown up for fear they will POP! Not sure how the clowns and other people who normally do this DO IT!

Mommy

Dear Noah:

It is funny. I am sitting here watching you right now spin the wheels of your new Giant Monster truck that is sitting upside down. This suddenly reminds me of how OFTEN you have done things like that over the years. I mean this supposedly is a "classic" sign of autism but I guess one we overlooked and wrote off for whatever reason. When you used to have a stroller we used to have to bring it out into the living room for you and turn it upside down where you would then sit for HOURS spinning those wheels and watching them spin around. Now the difference for you is that you always seemed to know what a toy was supposed to be used for and the proper way to play with a truck as a truck for example. You knew how to move it along and make truck sounds etc. You did not just sit and spin their wheels. However...turning things upside down so you COULD spin the wheels of many different things you would do periodically and sometimes during the playing with trucks or cars. Weird how we missed that connection all that time or we were not aware of it before perhaps. I do know you have always loved PINWHEELS and CEILING FANS and anything like that that spins around. You would lie in bed with your pinwheel in hand watching our ceiling fan over our bed spin around and you would also spin your pinwheel at the same time. Again we never really made that connection either which again are "classic" signs of autism? HUM....all seems strange to me now looking back I guess. I guess we have become more aware of the signs and symptoms of autism and people on the spectrum over time. SO many of these things I have even failed to let your pediatrician know about...which in turn could have probably been used to diagnose you sooner. Not that that really changes anything in the end but you probably could have been better UNDERSTOOD in school sooner and by others sooner and could have started some therapies sooner.

Anyway....I just had to sign back in to write this all down before I forgot it.

I love you Noah!

Mommy

Dear Noah:

We got some super storms last night all night and in fact it is still raining! We had flash floods all over Denver and cars and buses floating down the streets! It was an eventful night weather wise is all I can say. Noah you as usual enjoyed keeping up to the minute on the weather and once the lightening had cleared in our area you had me get back online so you could sign onto the local weather broadcasts and SATELLITE pictures to keep updated yourself on the weather conditions.

Speaking of which, you are now WAITING for me to get you back online to do the same thing this morning.

SO I will sign off now to do just that.

Later Gator!

Mommy

Dear Noah:

I tried to watch the old movie Rain Man last night but it was on so late (when I should be sleeping) and I needed to get some sleep so I could try to get up early to work...(which failed as I overslept and am now behind!). Anyway...the parts of the movie I STAYED AWAKE for were interesting. NOT that you are like Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man Noah but...there were many things he did that you indeed do as well as I am sure many people with autism to any degree do. For example, the part right before I dozed off was when they were in the car going across the bridge and Dustin Hoffman was fascinated with watching the bars and road passing by the car ...and then he started humming and making a sound EXACTLY LIKE YOU DO whenever YOU are in OUR car and we are on the road somewhere. YOU DO THAT SAME THING EVERY TIME we are in the car. Especially when we go over overpasses or bridges. It is like you have tuned into the sound the tires make on the highway and you simimulate that same sound yourself via your hums and the sounds you make. Whenever we go across an overpass with like a wall alongside it you will follow that wall and any break in the wall which changes the sound our tires make on the road you also change the sounds you make to compensate for those breaks. AND if WE listen closely the tires and sounds the car makes when it travels across the roads DO make different sounds over bridges and overpasses and when there is a wall alongside it and not...etc. SO we have kind of I guess learned to tune you out when you make those sounds when we drive along unless you get too loud (which you usually don't). BUT this movie last night was so funny in a way as it immediately reminded me of you and the sounds you make when we are in the car traveling down the road! AND many times when Dustin Hoffman would "freak out" about things not being the "same"....that also reminded me of you although you have improved in this area tremendously. Him also not understanding simple concepts (usually social ones) also reminded me of you but again you have made tremendous progress. Now Dustin Hoffman could not understand money and the "value" of it but you seem to do that well as with any math.

Anyway...I just found some things interesting about the movie and YOU.

Just makes YOU that much more special to me if that were even possible Noah!

Love you so much!

Mommy

Noah in his room making sounds and "scoping" (to calm down)

Dear Noah

Today is Daddy's birthday. We picked out some shorts, a shirt and a new CD/stereo for him. You also made sure to stick a dollar in his birthday card which I thought was too cute!

Anyway....cake and frozen yogurt for everyone later! Daddy still does not yet know about his stereo...it is in my truck!

LOVE YOU SWEETIE PIE!!

Mommy

Noah getting over excited on mowing day-this is a good example of how he can get when he gets a sensory overload!

Noah recorded the last 2 clips himself

Yes...Noah you recorded the last 2 clips yourself where you were calling out to your Daddy to come and play with you. You are amazing at lining up your face in the digital video camera. But anyway...these clips are good examples of how relentless you can be!

BUT I STILL LOVE YOU REGARDLESS!

Mommy ;)

After Keith telling him to stop here is Noah doing the same thing but very quietly!

Here is Noah calling "daddy play with me!"

Dear Noah:

Well...we went to the Hallmark store yesterday but no Christmas catalogs yet!

You are having a very trying day today. Not sure why. You keep wanting Daddy to play with you with your trains. It is a relentless cry "daddy come play with me" over and over and over. He plays for awhile but never seems to be able to stay there long. SO you cry out again "Daddy come play with me"....relentlessly. This only irritates your father even more. It would be just as simple to plop down and play for at least an hour on the floor. That satisfies you for awhile. I guess that is too easy. Your daddy can't seem to sit on the floor that long or on his butt. He has to sit on his knees which I am sure is the reason then for him not being able to stay down there for 1 hour.

Anyway....we need to do some shopping. It will be your daddy's birthday tomorrow. What to get what to get and why did we wait so long to do it again this year?

YOU DID get a card in the mail from Grandma and grandpa Lincoln. You are so excited to get mail.

Nothing much else new. Need to run for now.

LOVE YOU SOOOO MUCH!!

Mommy

Dear Noah:

Okay...your mommy LOVES Christmas. Some think I am odd but I do. I am the kind who listens to Christmas music and watch Christmas movies all year long. I never tire of them. I anxiously look forward to when Hallmark comes out every year with their Season Premiere of ornaments (coming soon in July!). I decided to check online yesterday on Hallmark's website and sure enough...the CATALOG is already out online! SO many wonderful new ornaments coming out. We have quite a collection which will all become yours one day. SO we sat and looked at every page online yesterday and ooooooed and aaaaaaad. Making our lists of what we will have to get. Next we will go to the Hallmark store to pick up the catalog in person! Carlton Cards does not yet have their stuff online or in a catalog but we enjoy their stuff too. SO many wonderful memories and so many magical times let alone the day we officially celebrate Jesus' birth. Maybe those are some of the reasons we love that time of year so much?

Anyway...I hope you always will enjoy it as much as we do too. So far you seem to.

I love you more than the world Noah!

Mommy

SOME of our family many years ago Noah. That is me with the long hair down front holding Heather. I look at that picture and wonder what has happened to your MOMMY!!!!!! Your aunt Melissa is to my right in the picture and then your Aunt Becky. Behind them is your grandma Custer and grandma Lincoln and my aunt Vera and uncle Sonny and his wife Eva and Uncle Ed and your uncle Chris and of course grandpa Custer. SO LONG ago but seems like yesterday. I sure do miss you Vera and Ed! 

Aunt Nancy shortly before she died at 42 years of age from breast cancer/lung cancer 

Aunt Nancy (on the left) and my mom or your grandma Lincoln (long time ago!) 

Here are pictures of your great grandma and grandpa...waving goodbye after a visit. This is how we always think of them too...as they always would run outside and stand on that front porch to wave goodbye to us...all the way down the street. We would turn around and they would still be there waving. Grandma still does that today! 

Here is a clean-shaven grandpa Custer. Grandpa Custer died on Thanksgiving morning 2003.. 

Here is your great grandpa Custer. WITH his beard that grandma did not like all that well! But that smile and him looking honery is what he was all about Noah.  

Dear Noah:

Just thinking about your great grandpa (my grandpa) and my aunt (who you never got to even meet) who are no longer with us. Kind of makes me sad and makes me want to visit our family in Ohio! I will have to see if I have a picture I can post. Course then you start to think about all our family members who have passed on. And you realize time is tick tocking away.....second by second, minute by minute and going so FAST! You never feel like you have enough time for anything these days. And before you know it you will be all grown up and these days will all be nothing but memories.

I love you Noah!

Mommy

Dear Noah:

Well we have had a nice Memorial Day weekend. It has been rainy and cold and very much like fall but we have enjoyed it. We have had 2 severe thunderstorms and hail today and some high winds. It has calmed down again. We just finished watching Spongebob Squarepants the Movie....you laughed a lot and we really did not think it was a bad as everyone had said it was. The David Hasselhoff part was really funy.

Making some homemade macaroni and cheese for supper. Daddy just put on What About Bob.....so I guess it is movie night tonight.

It is only about 46 degrees and dropping. Looks and feels like fall that is for sure. I need to get you in the tub...but you have not been showing any interest in that for the past couple of days. If not tonight TOMORROW FOR SURE my little man!

Love you anyway stinky butt! No...you are not really a stinky butt.

Mommy

ALSO NOTICED MY PICS TURN OUT BLURRY HERE

YEAH..what is that about? I have a crystal clear picture on this end and once I send it to my blog it ends up being a bit grainy and fuzzy looking. Definitely NOT the crystal clear shot I have on this end. Maybe I need to change a setting somewhere. All about settings I guess. Just don't want everyone to think my pictures are that out of focus as on this end they are not.

Ignore the Date/Time Stamp on my photos!

Yes..please ignore the date/time stamp on my photos. It will perpetually say we live in 2022. I have changed the date to the correct reading many times over but it always comes back to this 2022. Have no idea why and I don't really care. I have even turned "off" the date/time stamp option and it magically reappears showing once again.....2022. So....for picture purposes we apparently live in 2022. I just ignore it now and it does not bother me...however...it really BUGS Noah! I have told him to just ignore it too but that is a lot harder for him to do. I guess my fingers must keep hitting something on the buttons somewhere!

Noah was in a rare mood to pose on this day! He kept running around the park and would say "how about this pose?" So I ended up taking tons of shots of him that day. Here is a good one! 

A tree at the park where a woodpecker has made a home. You don't see the woodpecker here now and I was surprised the bird would choose to live so low but he was sitting in that hole many times when we stop by this park.  

Noah on slide at park - 1 

Noah on slide at park-6 

Noah's FALL COLORS painting from May 28, 2005

Noah's SUMMER COLORS painting from May 28, 2005 

Dear Noah:

We all sat down at the kitchen table and painted yesterday. You were so excited to finally be able to paint with "daddy". I asked if you were happy now. You said "I am very happy!". I will have to scan a couple of your paintings and post here. They are beautiful. You came up with a great way to paint using a roller brush and mixing different colors. You even named them. I will post it next.

LOVE YOU my angel boy!

Mommy

Dear Noah:

THANKS FOR THE LAUGH today. Talk about making up lost time for creativity and imagination! I happened to look over today and there you stood....all of a sudden you kind of bent over and put your hand held recorder down by your butt and you farted! You ran down the hall giggling as I had happened to catch you in the act and my mouth just fell open here at my seat. My mouth is still hanging open in disbelief, but more now because I am laughing so hard. You have been recording all kinds of things. I think it is pretty creative you decided to test this out! hahahahahah.

(course I have informed you that you can ONLY do this here at home and not make it a habit of course!)

oh my........HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA ;)

Noah and his new bike! 

Noah filming his doctor

A lot of information....

I know I just posted a lot of information and if you don't care to read it all that is fine. I felt it necessary to try to at least post the basics on both autism and Asperger's syndrome as they are closely related and confused all the time. MANY children are misdiagnosed or have their diagnoses changed over time again and again. The reason for this is because all of these syndromes and disorders all fall under the BIG umbrella of "autistic spectrum disorders".

SO a child, like my Noah, can and usually will have many characteristics of many of the disorders on the spectrum. This makes it extremely hard to just label them with one specific thing. Noah's doctor told us (and I believe her) that he has symptoms of about 10 different things. However, it all falls back into autistic spectrum disorder as it covers the entire range of the spectrum and characteristics, even though he would officially be classified as having autism.

While he is officially classified as having autism, he has also displayed characteristics of Asperger's syndrome (except for the fact that he had no language till about 3 which means this would normally be ruled out), PDD, and PDD-NOS. BUT it still all comes back to autism. Some say he has Asperger's syndrome but if the "qualifying factor" means he needed to be talking when he was not...then he would not have it. However, other than the language part he has had ALL the other symptoms of Asperger's syndrome.

I know it can be so confusing. AND our local school district won't even recognize the term "autistic spectrum disorder" as THE OFFICIAL DIAGNOSIS for a child. They want to break it down further and know which exact part your child fits into. SO when our physician notified the school that Noah has autistic spectrum disorder she said they would question that and want to know WHAT part of the spectrum he was on. She felt saying autistic spectrum disorder was more appropriate as there are so many characteristics involved. However, he officially was diagnosed with infantile autsim (not recovered obviously), sensory integration disorder (not recovered obviously), speech language delay (both receptive and expressive), hypotonia (low muscle tone) with some motor skill delays that Noah has recovered from, hyperflexible joints, and generalized anxiety disorder.

So anyway...there you have it. The basics...but not always so easy to understand I guess. I have come across many definitions for autism but the fact that it is so complex I think is why the definitions end up becoming complex even if they started out sounding simple.

More on Asperger's syndrome

[HOME to OASIS] [IMPORTANT NEWS] [BOOKSTORE] [MESSAGE BOARDS]
What Is Asperger Syndrome?

By Barbara L. Kirby Founder of the OASIS Web site (http://www.aspergersyndrome.org/) Co-author of THE OASIS GUIDE TO ASPERGER SYNDROME (Crown, 2001, Revised 2005)

Asperger Syndrome or (Asperger's Disorder) is a neurobiological disorder named for a Viennese physician, Hans Asperger, who in 1944 published a paper which described a pattern of behaviors in several young boys who had normal intelligence and language development, but who also exhibited autistic-like behaviors and marked deficiencies in social and communication skills. In spite of the publication of his paper in the 1940's, it wasn't until 1994 that Asperger Syndrome was added to the DSM IV and only in the past few years has AS been recognized by professionals and parents.

Individuals with AS can exhibit a variety of characteristics and the disorder can range from mild to severe. Persons with AS show marked deficiencies in social skills, have difficulties with transitions or changes and prefer sameness. They often have obsessive routines and may be preoccupied with a particular subject of interest. They have a great deal of difficulty reading nonverbal cues (body language) and very often the individual with AS has difficulty determining proper body space. Often overly sensitive to sounds, tastes, smells, and sights, the person with AS may prefer soft clothing, certain foods, and be bothered by sounds or lights no one else seems to hear or see. It's important to remember that the person with AS perceives the world very differently. Therefore, many behaviors that seem odd or unusual are due to those neurological differences and not the result of intentional rudeness or bad behavior, and most certainly not the result of "improper parenting".

By definition, those with AS have a normal IQ and many individuals (although not all), exhibit exceptional skill or talent in a specific area. Because of their high degree of functionality and their naiveté, those with AS are often viewed as eccentric or odd and can easily become victims of teasing and bullying. While language development seems, on the surface, normal, individuals with AS often have deficits in pragmatics and prosody. Vocabularies may be extraordinarily rich and some children sound like "little professors." However, persons with AS can be extremely literal and have difficulty using language in a social context.

At this time there is a great deal of debate as to exactly where AS fits. It is presently described as an autism spectrum disorder and Uta Frith, in her book AUTISM AND ASPERGER'S SYNDROME, described AS individuals as "having a dash of Autism". Some professionals feel that AS is the same as High Functioning Autism, while others feel that it is better described as a Nonverbal Learning Disability. AS shares many of the characteristics of PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder; Not otherwise specified), HFA, and NLD and because it was virtually unknown until a few years ago, many individuals either received an incorrect diagnosis or remained undiagnosed. For example, it is not at all uncommon for a child who was initially diagnosed with ADD or ADHD be re-diagnosed with AS. In addition, some individuals who were originally diagnosed with HFA or PDD-NOS are now being given the AS diagnosis and many individuals have a dual diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome and High Functioning Autism.
For your information, I've included below a copy of the DSM IV Description. In addition, I've also added a more down-to-earth description that was originally posted to the autism listserv.
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM IV) Description (p77)
A description provided by Lois Freisleben-Cook

Diagnostic Criteria For 299.80 Asperger's DisorderA. Qualitative impairment in social interaction, as manifested by at least two of the following:

marked impairments in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviors such as eye-to-eye gaze, facial expression, body postures, and gestures to regulate social interaction
failure to develop peer relationships appropriate to developmental level
a lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, interests, or achievements with other people (e.g. by a lack of showing, bringing, or pointing out objects of interest to other people)
lack of social or emotional reciprocity

B. Restricted repetitive and stereotyped patterns of behavior, interests, and activities, as manifested by at least one of the following:
encompassing preoccupation with one or more stereotyped and restricted patterns of interest that is abnormal either in intensity or focus
apparently inflexible adherence to specific, nonfunctional routines or rituals
stereotyped and repetitive motor mannerisms (e.g., hand or finger flapping or twisting, or complex whole-body movements)
persistent preoccupation with parts of objects

C. The disturbance causes clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning

D. There is no clinically significant general delay in language (e.g., single words used by age 2 years, communicative phrases used by age 3 years)

E. There is no clinically significant delay in cognitive development or in the development of age-appropriate self-help skills, adaptive behavior (other than social interaction), and curiosity about the environment in childhood

F. Criteria are not met for another specific Pervasive Developmental Disorder or Schizophrenia

A More Down-to-Earth Descriptionby Lois Freisleben-Cook
I saw that someone posted the DSM IV criteria for Asperger's but I thought it might be good to provide a more down to earth description. Asperger's Syndrome is a term used when a child or adult has some features of autism but may not have the full blown clinical picture. There is some disagreement about where it fits in the PDD spectrum. A few people with Asperger's syndrome are very successful and until recently were not diagnosed with anything but were seen as brilliant, eccentric, absent minded, socially inept, and a little awkward physically.

Although the criteria state no significant delay in the development of language milestones, what you might see is a "different" way of using language. A child may have a wonderful vocabulary and even demonstrate hyperlexia but not truly understand the nuances of language and have difficulty with language pragmatics. Social pragmatics also tend be weak, leading the person to appear to be walking to the beat of a "different drum". Motor dyspraxia can be reflected in a tendency to be clumsy.

In social interaction, many people with Asperger's syndrome demonstrate gaze avoidance and may actually turn away at the same moment as greeting another. The children I have known do desire interaction with others but have trouble knowing how to make it work. They are, however, able to learn social skills much like you or I would learn to play the piano.

There is a general impression that Asperger's syndrome carries with it superior intelligence and a tendency to become very interested in and preoccupied with a particular subject. Often this preoccupation leads to a specific career at which the adult is very successful. At younger ages, one might see the child being a bit more rigid and apprehensive about changes or about adhering to routines. This can lead to a consideration of OCD but it is not the same phenomenon

Many of the weaknesses can be remediated with specific types of therapy aimed at teaching social and pragmatic skills. Anxiety leading to significant rigidity can be also treated medically. Although it is harder, adults with Asperger's can have relationships, families, happy and productive lives.

NOTE: Lois Freisleben-Cook's description was originally a post to the bit.listserv.autism newsgroup/listserv . I thought it was an interesting explanation and included it on this site. A visitor recently pointed out that not all Asperger Syndrome children exhibit superior intelligence and felt that the post was somewhat misleading. It is my understanding that the majority of children diagnosed with AS do have at least an I.Q. in the normal range and that many children do have I.Q.'s in the superior range. It is important that you take the time to read through several explanations of AS, many of which are available on O.A.S.I.S. In addition, use the bibliographies, the libraries, and those professionals working with you to further your knowledge about Asperger Syndrome.

What is Asperger's Syndrome

Asperger's Disorder is a milder variant of Autistic Disorder. Both Asperger's Disorder and Autistic Disorder are in fact subgroups of a larger diagnostic category. This larger category is called either Autistic Spectrum Disorders, mostly in European countries, or Pervasive Developmental Disorders ("PDD"), in the United States. In Asperger's Disorder, affected individuals are characterized by social isolation and eccentric behavior in childhood. There are impairments in two-sided social interaction and non-verbal communication. Though grammatical, their speech is peculiar due to abnormalities of inflection and a repetitive pattern. Clumsiness is prominent both in their articulation and gross motor behavior. They usually have a circumscribed area of interest which usually leaves no space for more age appropriate, common interests. Some examples are cars, trains, French Literature, door knobs, hinges, cappucino, meteorology, astronomy or history. The name "Asperger" comes from Hans Asperger, an Austrian physician who first described the syndrome in 1944. An excellent translation of Dr. Asperger's original paper is provided by Dr. Uta Frith in her Autism and Asperger Syndrome.

Autism FAQ-Characteristic Behavior (not all)

Autistic children display unusual behavior. A typical autistic child's behavior is likely to include some of the following:

no speech
non-speech vocalizations
delayed development of speech
echolalia: speech consisting of literally repeating something heard
delayed echolalia: repeating something heard at an earlier time
confusion between the pronouns "I" and "You"
lack of interaction with other children
lack of eye contact
lack of response to people
treating other people as if they were inanimate objects
when picked up, offering no "help" ("feels like lifting a sack of potatoes")
preoccupation with hands
flapping hands
spinning
balancing, e.g. standing on a fence
walking on tiptoes
extreme dislike of certain sounds
extreme dislike of touching certain textures
dislike of being touched
either extremely passive behavior or extremely nervous, active behavior
extreme dislike of certain foods
behavior that is aggressive to others
lack of interest in toys
desire to follow set patterns of behavior/interaction
desire to keep objects in a certain physical pattern
repetitive behavior (perserveration)
self-injurious behavior
"islets of competence", areas where the child has normal or even advanced competence. Typical examples:
drawing skill
musical skill
arithmetic
calendar arithmetic
memory skills
perfect pitch

There are other conditions which sometimes coincide with autism:
synesthesia(an unexpected sensation arises when a particular sense modality is stimulated)
Cerebellar abnormalities revealed by MRI scans
raised levels of serotonin in the brain
hypotonia
sensory integration disorder
generalized anxiety disorder