Dear Noah: April 25, 2007

The last 2 nights you have awakened with what you call "the worst nightmare ever!" You come crawling into my office on your hands and knees while I am working and creep in ever so slowly afraid I guess I will be upset because you are up at 12:30 a.m. or 2:30 a.m. I eventually hear something and turn around and there you are lying on the floor on your hands and knees like a little mouse. That is one thing I have always noticed about you. You have NEVER in the middle of the night even if you need me for something...or in the morning if you wake up before me...rarely do you just come up like most others would and tap me on the arm or body and say "mommy".....shaking me awake. You instead "stand" there....looking at me.....watching me. And I have to admit it is strange because it is like your busy little brain sends out vibes to me because I always sense you there and that is what wakes me up. NOT you voicing my name "mommy."

Maybe I have just grown accustomed to you doing this and are more tuned into you. I definitely do not sleep through it if you come in and stand there beside me when I am sleeping in my bed...and there are times I am sleeping very soundly. I have tried teaching you if you need something to wake me up and tell me. To call out for me. But if I am sleeping you rarely wake me for anything.

Anyway....your dreams have been very vivid and about earthquakes, volcanoes, and tornadoes. To dream of earthquakes and tornadoes hold many similar meanings. The dream highlights your insecurities, fears, uncontrolled emotions, and sense of helplessness, vulnerability, emotional stress, etc. I would imagine, with your autism and other issues and your very busy brain, that you do indeed feel this way often. I hope someday I can make you feel more secure....but more importantly....teach you ways to make yourself feel secure in this world. That is very important for you to learn...how to self-soothe and comfort.

Imagination...

When you lie down to sleep at night
Close your eyes and squeeze them tight
Think of the magical places you love
Then fly away fly away, on the wings of a dove
Let it carry you off to a place filled with joy
Surrounded by delights made for a boy
With train whistles blowing, and steam engines churning
Delights filled with life, all from your yearning
Keep this special place sacred all through your life
Then any time a day comes filled with strife
Just close your eyes, let your mind take you away
Where you never grow up, but instead only play
A place with no worries, no anxieties or fears
Without doubt, insecurities, and definitely no tears
A world without boundaries, limits or frustration
A world with you always, it's called "imagination"


Copyright ©2007 Melinda A. Napoletano


I love you Noah...you will do just fine in this world...I will make sure of that.

mommy XOXOXOX and race car kisses too!