Sharing some crap from my other blog

The CEO of Autism Today posted this video on YOU TUBE......thinking somehow it would raise awareness for autism. AT best......she appears to be making light of hand flapping...a common characteristic of autistics. I see no purpose to this snippet she chose from a recent conference to use to promote autism awareness. It provides no information on autism...it shows a bunch of adults at a conference apparently with a lot of free time on their hands and not enough valuable information to share with themselves let alone others. HOW in the world did she think for one minute this would promot autism awareness? She has wasted an opportunity to use this medium in a very positive way. I am appalled. You watch it...then tell me if you were made more aware about anything to do with autism afterwards.




AND here are some comments I have received on it from another blog:

Debbie what a fucking moron!!! OMG and he works for them yeah right more like against.. Grrrrrrr

Melinda wrote today at 1:28 PM well Karen is the CEO of Autism Today. She sent me an email this morning to go watch this video. I was stunned when I watched it. I did not see HOW in the world she felt this promoted autism awareness. Maybe I am just in a pissy ass mood.....but this really sent me over the edge!

Keith wrote today at 1:30 PM some ppl are straight dumbasses so bad then

Melinda wrote today at 1:30 PM I am quickly becoming disenheartened with so many things

Melinda wrote today at 1:31 PM I sent her 2 emails back telling her how INAPPROPRIATE I felt this was. It is of no benefit. If anything it can be seen as making fun of a common characteristic of autistics. Sorry...I am in a shitty ass mood and this certainly did not help. I know I am in charge of my mood so I am going to have to go physically work this one out.

Melinda wrote today at 1:32 PM I also posted comments against the video snippet on You Tube...what a piece of shit work

Melinda wrote today at 1:32 PM I mean are you telling me out of ALL the snippets this was the best choice she could come up with???

Melinda wrote today at 1:34 PM okay......it has driven in me the need to do something I had thought about before anyway....and that is TO PROVIDE some good video feed of autism awareness. You Tube is a great medium to use....if used in the right manner. I had only posted small snippets of Noah and things he had done over time......I can do so much more. this has really really pissed me off to no end

Neal wrote today at 2:51 PM Speechless. What a jerk!

Loretta wrote today at 3:03 PM I found this appaling as well Melinda. My neighbors son has Autism as well and the medicine they perscribed caused Turrets syndrome as well. Its hard for me to understand Autism but I am trying since he plays with my son to become more informed. Any suggestions for learning about this? so I can be a better neighbor and friend.

Melinda wrote today at 3:25 PM that is great of you to "want" to find out more about autism Loretta. Here is a link that then offers a few more links...some good....some not so good....but it is a place to start: moreonautism

Melinda wrote today at 3:28 PM you can also find some information here : AutismSociety

Melinda wrote today at 3:29 PM and even here......it explains things pretty easily: CharacteristicsofAutism

Melissa wrote today at 3:37 PM I agree Melinda, out of all the snippets, this is the BEST they have? So sad and appalling.....

Melinda wrote today at 3:55 PM thanks melissa

Loretta wrote today at 3:59 PM Thank you very much Melinda. John is a good kid but he tests my patience .I know not meaning to. So it is very important for me to try to understand him rather then become frustrated . For instance he will ring my door bell 15-20 times between 3-5pm and refuses to speak to anyone else who answers the door then me. I want to be a good neighbor and friend to his mom.Her husband passed away the day before John turned nine and she is still young things are pretty tough on their family as it is but losing her mom last year only added to her heartaches. John was not diagnosed until he was seven .They knew he had some problems but they never found the answer till one of his teachers recognized signs .

Melinda wrote today at 4:02 PM yes it can be frustrating. They are very particular about things and can have a fit when things are not JUST SO. I have been working hard with Noah to get him to realize CHANGE IS OKAY and good and nothing to get upset about. It is very difficult to do but he is usually okay now with changes in routines and stuff like that....and if he gets upset it is very short-lived now.

Melinda wrote today at 4:05 PM this is a pretty good book too written by a young autistic boy....and told from his viewpoint but written by his mother: ImNotNaughtyImAutistic

Melinda wrote today at 4:07 PM and each child or person with autism can be different. While many share common characteristics......each has their own quirks

Loretta wrote today at 4:11 PM Yes Johns mom says she has never had to tell John to clean his room or pick up his toys because he does it on his own always has. But he also has become angry with her and punched her in the nose, knocked the screen door out, has broken several gameboys against his own forehead and etc. She seems to be trying to learn as much as possible to help her son right now is looking for the most qualified school in our area experienced in helping students with Autism. She said the main thing is being firm on rules and repeating them till he understands limits. I stand amazed at her courage and insight.

Melinda wrote today at 5:33 PM yes it can be exhausting sometimes. Noah has made huge progress but it was not always easy. Noah has also been very clean and never messy. He never liked to get messy. He actually had to learn to get messy hands as part of his occupational therapy believe it or not because he was so against getting his hands even in sand or shaving cream, seed, things most kids would naturally want to stick their hands in and play with. AND forget about finger paint...stuff like that. That took a long time. BUT Noah is good about putting his stuff away and keeping clean. He is super paranoid about his shoes and clothes not having any dirt or water on them

Melinda wrote today at 5:34 PM I am thankful Noah is not really angry or acting out on his anger anymore. He will occasionally have a slight frustrational fit...but it is fleeting and he rarely pushes or shoves or acts out. He did when he was in school though. That is why I homeschool him now.

Melinda wrote today at 5:34 PM just too much happened in school that would set him off. Including other kids picking up on his issues and purposefully trying to set him off.

Abi wrote today at 6:47 PM Melinda... I hate to be the dissenting voice here... but the "Badger Video" is hugely popular with teens and it has nothing to do with hand flapping or autism. It's just a video that kids find hilarious... and I gotta say that I have watched it a dozen times with various groups of kids who said "oh you gotta see this thing from blacksheep" and I laughed at the silly thing. This group thing looks like a million teacher conferences I have attended where they do the "break the tension" bit and let people relax. I'm not sure I see a hidden reference to hand flapping. I think this might just be a very poor attempt (poorly chosen attempt) to lighten up the presentation. I am sure the badger video in and of itself is not an autism reference. The badger song is one of many snips from albinoblacksheep.com and there are a zillion of them there. They are varied and ridiculous in nature, but not particularly motivated to making a statement of any particular kind. I'm not sure why Karen would choose to advertise her conference agenda on YouTube... I mean, showing people playing isn't exactly productive. Maybe she doesn't realize how prevalent this video clip "Badger" already is and maybe she thought she was being cute by tapping into the teen culture. But this is old news. Kids have been tuned in to albinoblacksheep for a long time. I am sorry that she offended you and that it seemed to make light of autism. Sometimes the moments people choose to share are so strange.

Melinda wrote today at 8:04 PM well I guess I could see the reference because THIS WAS AN AUTISM CONFERENCE......she is CEO of AUTISM TODAY. The MAN who was talking IS autistic.........HE KNEW the REFERENCE TO HAND FLAPPING.....that is WHY HE incorporated this snippet into the seminar. To be honest.....the CEO, Karen...emailed me and told me to watch this...it was to PROMOTE AUTISM AWARENESS. Did you learn anything about autism by watching it? The only thing she has done is drum up awareness about hand flapping and poked fun at it. Sorry......I don't take things like this lightly......and I do not find or see the humor in it. There are NUMEROUS other exercise activities one can choose to do at conferences and seminars. Personally when and if I fork out the kind of money they did to go to that conference I certainly would not be paying my money for a snippet of any exercise. They are all talking about it. It was indeed PURPOSEFULLY DONE...they CHOSE this BADGER crap.......because it mirrored hand flapping. Steve the guy talking at the start is autistic and he even admitted to it. I think it is in very poor taste and will do more damage and and turn more people away than anything.

Melinda wrote today at 8:05 PM AND NO where in the video is anything even mentioned about autism other than the WORDS on the screen at the start.......I myself do not see how anything on the video promoted AWARENESS of autism. It did promote awareness of the stupid BADGER video shit

Melinda wrote today at 8:07 PM this was her email to me: Hi Melinda, As you may know, "You Tube" is the most popular video sharing system online today. Since Autism can be sooooooooooo serious we thought we would add some fun to it. We also want to raise awareness of autism (as much as possible) and have put a fun clip of Stephen Shore and myself at our Vancouver conference online. Who knows, if you were at the Vancouver conference you may be in this clip! Please take a look here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8iEfyvOhM6g Also, be sure to pass this along to your friends. If you think its kind of cute you can become a member of "You Tube" and post your response. this will help MORE people see the clip and also raise awareness. Also we hope to see you at one of our conferences in the future. Very Sincerely, Karen L Simmons Founder, CEO Autism Today Autism Today 1425 Broadway #444 Seattle, WA 98122 US

Melinda wrote today at 8:08 PM again....how the hell did that crap promote autism awareness? AND many who have autistic children or who are autistic.....highly resent the fact that she is trying to make fun of it in any degree. I totally resent her email even saying the shit about autism being soooooooooooooo serious. You are damn right it is serious. Make light of it? I don't think so.

Dear Noah:

Keeping clothes on you lately has been difficult at best! I am not sure....but I think it is a sensory issue. You like the FEEL of NO clothes...and rolling on your bedding naked. You do understand you are not allowed to do this when anyone else is in the house or company is over. You do understand you do not do this elsewhere...and your door to your room here at home needs to be shut (though you did walk around me yesterday a couple of times - which I know we are used to things like that but still).

Anyway.....so far today you have kept some pants on.....no shirt but pants.

You have discovered Nicktropolis......



Nickelodeon has announced the launch of Nicktropolis, a virtual web community for kids. Cyma Zarghami, President, Nickelodeon and MTVN Kids and Family Group, calls Nicktropolis a "a one-of-a-kind multimedia virtual entertainment playground for kids that allows them to watch video from our immense library of programming, play games, interact with our characters and safely communicate with each other through controlled chat."

Kids enter Nicktropolis by assuming an "avatar" that they design and personalize, choosing from an array of hairstyles, skin tones and clothing styles. Once a user selects a destination, the avatar appears in the particular environment and can move around simply by clicking where he/she wants to go. The site offers a 3D environment consisting of four main areas containing:
# Nickname Lane: This is where kids can design their own space.
# Nicktoon Boulevard: Rooms based on Nickelodeon's properties. SpongeBob's Bikini Bottom is one of the rooms currently in Nicktropolis.
# Downtown Nicktropolis: non-branded virtual rooms like a park, rec-center, lounge and commerce area
# The Pier: a gaming environment

Nickelodeon has included security features with Nicktropolis including a sanitized dictionary and allowing parents the option to control their child's settings. The BBC is also planning a virtual world for kids.

You are SO INTO all the Nickelodeon cartoons now that you absolutely LOVE this. Last night when going to bed you said "I can't wait till tomorrow!" (because you could not wait to get back online to Nicktropolis! I guess you even got to talk to Spongebob and someone else on one of those cartoons...which totally thrilled you.

Anyway......mommy loves you so much!

Dear Noah: April 25, 2007

The last 2 nights you have awakened with what you call "the worst nightmare ever!" You come crawling into my office on your hands and knees while I am working and creep in ever so slowly afraid I guess I will be upset because you are up at 12:30 a.m. or 2:30 a.m. I eventually hear something and turn around and there you are lying on the floor on your hands and knees like a little mouse. That is one thing I have always noticed about you. You have NEVER in the middle of the night even if you need me for something...or in the morning if you wake up before me...rarely do you just come up like most others would and tap me on the arm or body and say "mommy".....shaking me awake. You instead "stand" there....looking at me.....watching me. And I have to admit it is strange because it is like your busy little brain sends out vibes to me because I always sense you there and that is what wakes me up. NOT you voicing my name "mommy."

Maybe I have just grown accustomed to you doing this and are more tuned into you. I definitely do not sleep through it if you come in and stand there beside me when I am sleeping in my bed...and there are times I am sleeping very soundly. I have tried teaching you if you need something to wake me up and tell me. To call out for me. But if I am sleeping you rarely wake me for anything.

Anyway....your dreams have been very vivid and about earthquakes, volcanoes, and tornadoes. To dream of earthquakes and tornadoes hold many similar meanings. The dream highlights your insecurities, fears, uncontrolled emotions, and sense of helplessness, vulnerability, emotional stress, etc. I would imagine, with your autism and other issues and your very busy brain, that you do indeed feel this way often. I hope someday I can make you feel more secure....but more importantly....teach you ways to make yourself feel secure in this world. That is very important for you to learn...how to self-soothe and comfort.

Imagination...

When you lie down to sleep at night
Close your eyes and squeeze them tight
Think of the magical places you love
Then fly away fly away, on the wings of a dove
Let it carry you off to a place filled with joy
Surrounded by delights made for a boy
With train whistles blowing, and steam engines churning
Delights filled with life, all from your yearning
Keep this special place sacred all through your life
Then any time a day comes filled with strife
Just close your eyes, let your mind take you away
Where you never grow up, but instead only play
A place with no worries, no anxieties or fears
Without doubt, insecurities, and definitely no tears
A world without boundaries, limits or frustration
A world with you always, it's called "imagination"


Copyright ©2007 Melinda A. Napoletano


I love you Noah...you will do just fine in this world...I will make sure of that.

mommy XOXOXOX and race car kisses too!

Dear Noah..........Buddruckers

We used to frequent a restaurant in Colorado called Fuddruckers. You always got the chicken strips and fries served in a basket such as this:



So yesterday I served you some chicken and fries in our plastic baskets like the one above as I have some.....different colors. The first thing you said was "wow...this is just like the baskets they use at Fuddruckers!"

Last night before heading out to the store you saw the basket on the kitchen counter and began talking about. Then out of the blue you came up to me and said "In the year 2027 Fuddruckers will change their name, changing the "F" to a "B" and it will be called Buddfuckers!" I looked at you funny I guess and you said "No I mean it will be called Buddruckers!"

You laughed and laughed. I was thrilled you changed the FUCKERS to RUCKERS. However, a few minutes later and throughout the evening....you kept saying BuddFUCKERS and giggling....saying it sounded funny! This meant I had to try to explain why we try NOT to use the word FUCK or versions thereof.....especially bursting out with it in public! That is all I would need.....you walking into the store and yelling loudly "Buddfuckers!" which when YOU SAY it sounds like BUTTFUCKERS! Your "D" sounds like a "T" sometimes.

It was rather amusing. I am hopeful today you will magically have forgotten all about it. Magic I hope......NO recall of the conversation. I think too I best hide the baskets for awhile and serve you your food on a plate!

I love you anyway.......always will.

Mommy :X

Dear Noah!

You are feeling so well you asked if you could have Burger King for lunch today. I decided to splurge and buy you lunch out. I let you get into the truck via the garage door so you could avoid any outside exposures....and off we went to the drive-thru to get you some lunch. We came back and I decided to call the Reverend Wynn to come mow our yard since it needed it and I did not want to stir up more allergens for me or you by myself mowing it. He charged the same price this year as last and always comes right away and does a good job mowing and trimming. I was hoping the mower would cut off our dandelions in the yard but it did not. Our yard is resembling a wildflower field with all the splashes of yellow! I am sure the neighbors are frowning......but...at least the grass is cut and trimmed and the dandelions will not be there forever. I have also avoided any allergy/sinus symptoms myself by not mowing this time round.

However......DURING THE MOWING PROCESS NOAH....my little man......my little INQUISITIVE man....I heard you giggling and saw more light coming into your room than normal. I figured you had opened your blind to the front window in your room to look out at the man mowing the grass. SO I decided to check on you to make sure you were not STANDING on your BED.

GUESS what I discovered when I walked around the corner and stepped into your room????? HUH??? Can anyone guess? THERE was Noah.....my little angelic boy.........8 years old, 64 pounds, sitting on TOP of his electronic keyboard on its flimsy stand, which raised him high enough to be able to see out the window without standing on his bed! See he had sought a solution to the NO STANDING OR JUMPING ON HIS BED rule I have been trying to sink into his brain....but his SOLUTION left MUCH to be desired!

I watched in horror as I could see him bouncing around and that keyboard bowing with each bounce! I am not sure why it did not come off the stand or break or something....but thank the Lord it did not. I IMMEDIATELY began to tell him to get off it and why. I asked him if he knew what he did was wrong and WHY. ALL the WHYs came spilling out as he KNEW he had done something wrong. I reminded him the keyboard cost like 250.00 which I think he forgot about.....and may not really mean anything to him yet anyway. I think he is still of the mindset any time you need money you just drive to the ATM and put in a piece of plastic and get money out. He has no idea that the money is money I have to work for to put in there and there is a specific amount available for specific things (we are going to work on that in school this year as he will be opening his own bank account).

SO I got him down.....the keyboard to me looks bowed a bit now...but maybe it is an optical illusion. I HOPE and pray it is only an optical illusion. I made him turn it on to see if it still played and it did.

sigh............all is well again I suppose. He feels so much better...and that is a good thing. His nose and sinuses are not filled with snotty crap like yesterday and the day before. No puking up of it either and no sore throat or difficulty swallowing. I have had to keep the windows closed up....to keep allergens out.....but it is working.

okay.......I think I am calming down now. Maybe I can take a cup of coffee out to my wildflower patch and take a much needed break.

I still love you Noah.......you little booger you!

mommy XXOOXX

Dear Noah:

You seem to be better today. You only puked 3 times yesterday and I think that was because of all the mucus from your nose...sinus drainage. After getting that and some bile up...you have been better. I inflated the extra queen size air bed we had and let you sleep on the floor on that in the living room. I slept on the sofa. The bucket was right beside you all night. You are great now at hitting the bucket...wanting to be left alone while puking even. NO talking and NO anything...you mean business. You shoved your little head clear down into that bucket too so the vomit would not splatter all over. Even I was impressed!

SO....puked 3 times. We rubbed Vicks on your chest and throat to keep your nose open....and today you woke up and seem much much better. I don't hear all the sinus crap clear up in your nose like before. I honestly think some of your symptoms were from allergies...and us being out in the air/wind the other day set it off.

NOW you want Burger King for lunch....so I may just have to drive down there and get it for you. You look so skinny!

I need to think about mowing the yard. It is filled with dandelions and is getting pretty high. I will have to wear a mask myself when I mow or I will have sinus issues. I forgot what it was like being in Ohio during spring and all the allergens!

I love you.....hope you continue to get better as the day goes on!

Mommy XOX

geesh..Noah never gets sick and he is sick again!

The entire time in Colorado Noah basically never got sick. Maybe twice......three times max in his lifetime. He had done pretty well here in Ohio so far till a couple weeks ago when he got the sore throat and fever and was treated for strep throat. He saw a doctor on Monday as part of a well-child visit to establish patient care. Of course this means he could have picked up someone else's germs while there.

Well today he is not feeling well. He complained about his throat again.....and seems to have a lot of sinus drainage. That can make a really bad sore throat. AND now he is puking ........mostly just the juice he had earlier in the day and the one Popsicle he ate. Otherwise he has had nothing and wants nothing. I am hoping it is not a gastrointestinal thing he has picked up. He is really good about hitting the bucket now or toilet which is a blessing. He also does not like much help when he is puking and definitely NO talking.

Of course the initial blast he splattered here and there on his way to the toilet. YES....I am going to be purchasing another one of those smaller Bissel carpet cleaners. I am thankful he had no food in his stomach. He is only vomiting orange juice and green popsicle and now bile.

anyway.......handwashing....cleaning buckets......and I am out of dish soap!

Dear Noah.....the day the new computer arrived!

First off our doctor appointment yesterday to establish new patient care for me and Noah went well. Noah will have to see a few docs at Children's Medical Center and a dentist there too.....but that is good I think in the end providing it does not get too costly! SO all went well so far. He will likely need to be given anesthetic to have anything done to his teeth....which is why I will take him to the Children's Medical Center. He will get fitted for new orthotics there too if still needed AND get a couple of other things checked out.

Noah got a bit lippy with me the other day. I am trying really hard to teach him respect and to recognize different emotions and what they are and mean and then what to do about them and how to handle them. I told him by being lippy with his mother that was disrespectful and poor manners and made people feel bad....explained it pretty well to him I think. Here is what I found a few minutes later.


He had taken his doodle pad and drew a sad smiley face and ONE tear and the word SORRY and slid it into my office on the floor behind my office chair. SO HE IS GETTING IT! It is SINKING IN! Little by little he is making progress. This year in school I have decided if he slacks a bit off the academics so what. He was already ahead at least one full grade when he started. If he gains an entire year of social skill development and learns a lot in that area.....it will be HUGE for him and his life. AND the progress in his sad smiley face or any smiley face is huge. A few years ago he was asked to draw one as part of an assessment test. Noah drew a circle and filled it with dots.....a BUNCH of dots. No where could you find 2 eyes and a mouth and nose or anything like that. I find it interesting he drew the face...the sad smile and look at the eyes! He even used correct punctuation for his one-word sentence! A period.

Noah has gone an entire week almost without a computer. I did finally break down and let him use mine a couple of times to scan train stuff online. Well today his new PC came. He was THRILLED when he heard UPS pull up. He came running out shouting "it's here, it's here!!" and opened the door for the UPS man. It took merely seconds for us to have it plugged in and set up and ready to go. I got a refurbished PC from the link below....and it is FANTASTIC. Only cost 299.00 also. SO if you are in the market for anything good but cheaper than paying full price...you might check them out!

ClickHereToGoToTigerDirect


And Noah.....mommy is so proud of you and the little man you are becoming. I know we have a long road ahead of us but I know it will be an exciting one and our lives will just keep getting better and better each day! I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK AGAIN......forever and ever and ever.

mommy XOX

Noah finally lost one of his top front baby teeth!

Yes! One of those old baby teeth that have been ready to come out for at least a year! The one that looked like it was not loose at all! He was listening to this clip of songs below from the Jingle Cats and was laughing so hard....when he went to suck in a deep breath he apparently sucked the tooth right out of his mouth to the back of his throat and he swallowed it!

To Listen To Jingle Cats Click Here


AND on top of everything else....he came to me yesterday saying he smelled FIRE in his bedroom. When I checked it out I did indeed smell something HOT.......and realized his PC must finally be burning up inside. SO......about 10 minutes later it did.

I am in the process of trying to replace his PC. A good used one is fine for him....and one with Windows XP was what I preferred. I think I finally found one that will serve his needs. I am sure he is going through computer withdrawal. He just came to me and said "his heart was broken that he did not have a computer to play on" and asked me again....how many days it would be before he had a computer to play on. I hope this one arrives soon and it will run well and do all he needs it to do!

I love you Noah!

mommy :X

Easter Sunday 2007

Noah and I stopped by to pick up grandma C. to take her to my mom and dad's for dinner. Everyone was there minus my brother in Florida. We had way too much food but everything was excellent as usual. The kids had fun doing an Easter egg hunt INDOORS as it was snowing and very cold outside. They also had fun playing inside. A lot has changed between me and my family in the past 2 years......and I feel very blessed.

Noah wanted to share a recipe: Southwestern Dip

For recipe reading click here:

NoahReadingSouthwesternDipRecipe

Southwestern Dip Mix:
1/2 cup dried parsley flakes
1/3 cup dried minced onion
1/3 cup chili powder
1/4 cup dried chives
1/4 cup ground cumin
2 teaspoons salt

3 tablespoons Southwestern Dip Mix
1 cup sour cream
1 cup mayonnaise

In a medium bowl, combine parsley, onion, chili powder, chives, cumin, and salt. Package in decorative jar or cellophane bag.

In a medium bowl, combine dip mix, sour cream, and mayonnaise; stir until smooth. Refrigerate at least 2 hours for flavors to blend. Serve with chips or fresh vegetables.

Dear Noah....treatment for strep

Well last night around 10:00 after having another Popsicle you came to me crying saying you felt you were getting worse and you could barely swallow....so we got ready and I ran you down to the After Hours Clinic in the local hospital. We had 40 minutes to go till they closed. You did very well there. We checked in. Nurse took a report and did vitals. Back to the ER we went. A doc came in...and basically said what I had thought....you had some fluid on your left ear...so the Motrin with decongestant I was giving would help that.

AND because it might really upset you to have a throat swab done and scare you and make you cry and feel worse, from what she could see and your 2 symptoms (fever and sore throat)....she decided to just go ahead and treat you for strep throat. She said they have had an outbreak in the area recently....and you could have picked it up anywhere. THEY EVEN GAVE us the medicine we needed before we left so no trip to the pharmacy or seeing the doctor today. AND ALL done within 1 hour and 10 minutes!

Right now you are actually even laughing in your room ...which is something you have not done for the past 2 days.

SO I think you are on your way to recovery....though you informed me you still only wanted to eat Popsicles and NO FOOD till you felt better.

I am hopeful you will feel even better as the day goes on.

I love you...

mommy XO

Dear Noah: sore throat still

Well you are not feeling well at all. You say your throat hurts and it must. You won't eat anything but Popsicles AND you only take sips of water or juice. You cry just thinking you might need to go see a doctor. You lie around and catnap and do nothing. No sounds. No talking. No anything. Only occasional low whispers....but mostly sign language. You complain your head also hurts. Your temp is only 1 degree above normal so that is good. I have tried looking down your throat but cannot see inflamed tonsils or throat. BUT I also cannot get you to open it up too wide to see much.

SO today we are treating your symptoms. I AM HOPING tomorrow you will feel much better and this is just sinus/allergy related from the windy days when we were outside. If not we may have to go see the doctor sooner than we wanted to.

I SURELY HOPE you feel better tomorrow. It is very odd having you sick. You just never really are. AND for you to be this inactive and this quiet....is mind blowing. NOTHING like you at all. I find myself walking around here totally out of sorts as it is nothing like what I have grown accustomed to with you over the years.

mommy loves you ;X

a little over a year ago...

Dear Noah: your throat hurts

today you came to me...just now....saying your lower throat area hurt. That it just started today. You pointed to your voicebox or Adam's apple.

I checked your throat which looked fine. I know sometimes after being outside however (and we were over the weekend as well as yesterday and today) that our sinuses can act up and make our throats feel weird.

You almost cried. Then came out to the kitchen later and said something like you thought your throat hurt because maybe your voice was changing. I am not sure where you got that but I did tell you that sometimes that happens, especially with boys. As you get older your voice will change and even that little Adam's apple will get larger.

SO you could very well be correct in your smart assumption....though I would tend to think 8 years of age is a little young for that to start. BUT I have already noticed facial hair on your upper lip! SO who knows.

anyway.....let's hope it is nothing more than that.

i love you

mommy :X

UPDATE: You have been crying...saying your throat is sore. You are afraid you are sick and will have to go to the doctor. I am hoping and praying you are fine and it is nothing more than weird gland stuff that happens to us both sometimes when outside on a windy day. I have given you some Motrin Cold...and rubbed some Vicks on your neck. Hopefully tomorrow you will be much better. Taking you to the doctor can be so traumatic. I am hopeful it is possible other than check ups you won't need anything done ever.....till maybe you are an adult and hopefully better able to handle it. Do you think that is possible? Yeah...probably not likely. So....we need to work on having you learn to handle going to the doctor and dentist now....

we have our work cut out for us - - with your generalized anxiety disorder you worry to the extreme sometimes about everything.

Dear Noah: Ludlow Falls and sunset

Well we took cousin Audrey back home today but on the way back we stopped at Ludlow Falls to check them out and snap a few shots. It was SUPER windy!




On the way back home we caught a gorgeous ON-FIRE sunset! It looked like the sky was on fire!







Finally back home you came in and looked all around and came back out crying...saying you wished Audrey was still here...you wanted another sleepover.

In your room just now you picked up a picture frame with her picture in it and said with a puckered lower lip...."I sure wish Audrey was still here for another sleepover...I want Audrey to come back for another sleepover."

I felt bad. You then proceeded to tell me that EVERY Saturday night when she is free should be a sleepover night!

We had a really good time this weekend with cousin Audrey. We will definitely be doing it again! I have a few things planned for them. I want to take her to the drive-in this summer. She has never been to one before and I told her everyone has to go at least once in a lifetime! I also said something about going camping......with her mommy and me and Noah....whoever else wants to go. Would be a blast! The kids would love sitting around the campfire. I have some mini trip ideas we could go on.

I am sure the kids will sleep well tonight. Last night Noah (even though he was happy someone was sharing his bed finally besides his teddies)......he had a difficult time sleeping. At 11:30 he was still not asleep calling for me saying Audrey was squishing him and he could not sleep. So he crawled back to his side of the bed. Then at 2:30 a.m. here he came with his CAMERA already ON....saying he was HUNGRY......needed a midnight snack! I proceeded to tell him it was 2:30 a.m. NOT midnight. He had one cookie and a few sips of milk. Back to bed he went.

Then about 3:00 a.m. or so he called for me again and said Audrey's leg was in the way and he could not even get into his side of the bed properly. I went in and sure enough she had turned completely sideways on the bed. LOL. SO Noah got little sleep and Audrey was out like a rock! BUT they played long and hard today. I played long and hard today.

giggles

It was a good day for us all.

I LOVE YOU GUYS!

mommy AND Aunt Melinda XOXO

Dear Noah: A visit to grandma's AND a sleepover!

We decided to go see your grandma and grandpa L. Saturday as your aunt Melissa and cousin Audrey were there visiting and your other aunt Becky and aunt Margaret. SO off we went. Nice drive. Got there...had a nice visit. You had a nice visit and watched some cartoons on TV while there......

SO SERIOUS!



you snuggled up with Aunt Margaret for a partial rest/snooze:





YOU ARE SO LOVING


There were JELLYBEANS:



AND FAKE FLOWERS:



AND A KITCAT CLOCK:



YOUR AUNT BECKY'S MOUTH:



Cousin Audrey wanted us to come back to her house to spend the night. I could not because I had a tiny bit of work at the very least to finish up here. SO I suggested she come to our house and spend the night. She wanted to but was not packed and it was not planned. Needless to say she got very very upset and was really starting to cry. YOU really got upset and was crying because she was crying...trying to do different things to help her stop crying.

THIS IS HUGE for you. YOU NOW RECOGNIZE sadness and when someone is crying and you cry. BUT it is a SILENT CRY. The tears are very real and roll off your face....and anyone can see you feeling the pain that person is......you hurt...you cry...but silently. NO SOUNDS...your stomach is heaving...you tried offering Audrey a donut....thinking she was hungry and needed to be fed. Then you told grandpa maybe she was crying because she did not want to play with you. It was so sad to see all this happen. You came to me and I was brushing your tears off your face....and telling you it was okay that Audrey was just very upset. AND YOU cried some more....everyone was crying. Grandpa said that is what OLDER people do NOT have kids! haha. Anyway...I told Audrey to sit down. I then said if she could calm down and go home and pack her bag we would follow them over to her house and pick her up and take her back with us to spend the night. She calmed down...all was well...you finally stopped crying too once you knew she was okay...but you had a bad headache you said. I imagine you did.....a huge tension headache trying to keep all those emotions in check.

Later back at home Audrey found your CALM DOWN book and asked what it was. I told her that it was a book I made up for you when you used to get very upset. We would grab the book and have you work through the book to help you calm down. Inside it is filled with little square pics I drew up and laminated. I put Velcro on the backside of each little square. Basically you start out saying how you feel....and then go from there....counting.....taking deep breaths...working through the short book and steps till you are more calm. AND then are ready to do the activity you wanted to do. Audrey grabbed the book and wanted to show how she felt earlier in the day at grandma's house when she was crying. She chose the picture of being MAD....but you grabbed the book and said "NO....that is not right. You were not mad you were UPSET!" and replaced her MAD pic with an UPSET PIC. THIS AGAIN IS HUGE FOR YOU.....to recognize the emotions and appropriate ones....and to empathize with them. Have compassion for someone else. Now to teach you how to work through that and release it or to help someone else feel better so you also do not get so wrapped up in feeling their pain and emotions too. BUT......this is HUGE HUGE progress for you.

The other day I was crying. I rarely let you see me cry. This upset you. You came over and hugged me...laid your head on my shoulder....and started to cry too. AGAIN...SILENT cry. BUT...... I will never forget the feel of your stomach heaving against mine in silent crying very real tears rolling down your cheeks. I felt horrible! BUT.....again......huge progress for you to recognize the emotion and to empathize appropriately with it.

SO...to top it all off...your cousin Audrey came home with us to spend the night! YOU two are a blast. I really enjoyed the visit so far. We watched part of the Kids Choice Awards since you both wanted to. We played school...we played trains....we played store. We ordered pizza. You two got ready for bed. Audrey is a gem. She sits and talks like an adult half the time and you sometimes forget she is only 7 years old. She said she did not want to go home tomorrow...she is a sweetie. You two did not get to bed till 11:00 p.m. We had quiet time together...you drawing while Audrey and I did an I SPY book...then RACE CAR KISSES for you both. Audrey giggled and laughed so much....so did you..covers were flying. It was really funny...(we now do entire length of body race car kisses through the blankets....starting at the toes.....up the legs......body....face...circling back around and down the other side....ending at toes...at which point you want me to bite your big toe through the blanket). You told me I had to give Audrey and you BOTH race car kisses so I did. SO you both enjoyed them.

Audrey decided to share your bed and I will be in there too if I can later though I think you will be fine and I will likely end up on the sofa so I can hear you both better.....she went out like a light. You were still awake watching her sleep. You have longed for someone to be sleeping with you in your bed for some time....but have gotten used to sleeping alone with just your teddies to snuggle with....but you could not sleep on the side she assigned to you as it was not your normal side of the bed for sleeping. SO you had to switch back...you did....you leaned over and kissed Audrey on the forehead....grabbed your bears.....and you were out too. Now that you are both in there together though..I am thinking you are rethinking sleeping with someone....LOL...looks like you are needing more extra space. I took this photo while you two were asleep....the flash and sound of the camera did not make either of you flinch or move at all:

IT DOES NOT LOOK LIKE IT BUT THIS IS A QUEEN SIZE BED:


Tomorrow not sure what all we will do. If it is not raining we will play at the park for a bit. IF raining we will end up at a play area inside. IN FACT....you have both already decided you would like Burger King tomorrow morning for breakfast and they have a nice play area.

till then...I need to work a bit....then sleep...

love you both. XX