Friday, October 07, 2005

Dear Noah:

I am now sitting here wondering if the "wondering" and "worrying" and things like that ever really end? I am already wondering about you as you get older and what will happen. You are so naive about things and it will take a long time to TEACH you things. AND even then you may still have trouble with some things.

Parents of autistic kids I think also worry about different things ON TOP of the normal things most parents worry and wonder about with their kids. I know in the back of my mind that things will be okay. BUT I also worry about you and God willing if the entire world and all of us are still in it in like 20 or 30 years...or you will be then. Will you still need assistance of any kind in your life? Will there come a time you may be alone? I don't ever want you to be alone in the world.

I do believe in prayer and God and so do you. We will have to start praying NOW for God to provide all that you will need in your life including loving, caring people to help you and help take care of any of your needs always! I also pray you find a great loving wife one day if you so desire to have one. I think you would make a great daddy one day. I pray you will be successful in all you do. I pray we can get through all the homeschool issues and therapies and teach you the very best of all you need to know to make it in our world. I pray you continue to be a human sponge and '"want" to soak up as much as possible each and every day. I pray you don't regress any farther than you did this summer. I pray you can gain insight and wisdom and avoid any danger and evil and darkness and typical things most teenage kids have to experience or choose to experience. I pray you keep your eyes focused on GOD for direction and guidance and peace in your life. I pray for your never ending happiness and love. I pray you will always be able to find calm in any storm.

It is funny. I used to think I prayed a lot....but since I have had you...I truly pray without ceasing now. Almost like little mantras. Over and over throughout each day. "Please God help Noah make it through church." "Please help Noah be nice to other kids in the waiting room and share toys and not have a fit." "Please help Noah to learn to wipe himself after using the bathroom." "Please help Noah learn all he can in homeschool." "Please help Noah want to try to eat more different types of foods." "Please help Noah avoid any danger and accidents so we can avoid the crisis a trip to the ER or dentist would create." "Please prepare Noah for the future so he can one day HANDLE going to the dentist if needed, etc." "Please if Noah ever has to have anesthetic, have them find a way to give it to him without traumatizing him all over again." "Please let Noah be able to handle the sound at the movies." "Please let Noah be able to handle kids walking by at the park and not want to leave." "Please let Noah WANT to get out more often." "Please keep Noah loving God and wanting to learn all he can about Him."

Please....please...please.....the list and prayers never end. Most probably revolve around your safety and ability to just make it through another day without any major crises or crying spells over what usually appears to be a very small thing to us but is the end of the world for you!

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