Friday, November 30, 2007

Dear Noah.....a phone call from school.


When I saw it was the school on my caller ID I was instantly filled with old feelings of apprehension and knots in my stomach. It is a reaction I had almost gotten over as the school year has progressed as no one ever called no matter what happened at the school.

Today they called mainly just to give me a heads up so they did not have to mention all this when I picked you up...in front of everyone else. I appreciate that.

Apparently there was a misunderstanding between yourself and another little boy at school over an eraser! The one boy told you that you could have the eraser and another boy apparently did not hear it and he took it first before you could get it. Instead of telling the teacher like I have suggested or anything verbal at all.....you reacted like a typical 4-year-old emotional level child would. You HIT. You took your fist and hit this kid 3 times in the chest. The little boy did not retaliate and stood there and finally the teachers were able to intervene. I guess you had a pretty major meltdown. This is not totally uncommon for you the closer the holidays get. This trend has been lifelong for you and we have always attributed it to the extra things happening this time of year that constantly CHANGE things up for you. The natural normal flow is rare.

You now have lost your recesses today and had to verbally apologize to the boy and do a written apology. The teachers and you also discussed with the group WHY everyone does not react like that and WHAT everyone should do next time round...etc. I know they are sending a note home to the boy's father also stating there was an altercation at school though they did not mention your name specifically. SIGH......

SO......I have called GATEWAY today......a local program I had checked into before when we first moved back to Ohio but at that time you were too young to attend.......the school referred me to them again at the parent-teacher conference and I finally called and spoke with the woman today about getting you enrolled in their GROUP social skill classes....where once a week you would meet with a group of other children.....also with their own issues....to learn proper social skills.....the benefit here you work with people who understand what is going on and who can control the set up and outcomes....etc....because they have more time. It is grant-based so there is only a small intake fee on my part of 25.00 for the entire year so I am thrilled about that.

I have to do something. Working with you at home and some social situations at school are not always enough...and the older and bigger you get the worse the outcome could be for you and any other child involved.

AND my little man......you will NOT be going anywhere today after school but home....so don't even ask!

I still love you though.

Mommy
XOXOX

4 comments:

Patty said...

Sounds like the school handled everything in an appropriate way. That's good. The once a week class sounds like it may be helpful.

Hey Noah, are you getting excited about Christmas? I saw Tom yesterday at Grandma C's house.

Love you to the moon and back, and as Audrey says, anad all the stars. Have a nice week-end.
Love, Grandma

Maddy said...

Ah yes. We share similar issues. Everything is fine and dandy in the controlled situation of the therapists office but it's so much harder to follow through without the scaffolding in the anxiety of the moment.
BEst wishes

Drama Mama said...

Melinda,
For what it's worth, my daughter got a LOT out of her Social Skills group.

Good on you for finding one.

Here's sending you BOTH hugs during this busy and stressful season.

kristi said...

Wow! I am glad you found a place to help Noah. TC struggles in this area too. He has hit, kicked and spit on other students this year.

I just took him to McDonalds' today and a little boy came up and hit TC for no reason SEVERAL times. And TC just stood there and did not retaliate. I was so proud of him!