Thursday, November 15, 2007

Dear Noah...Tug Of War

Each day when I pick you up from school I stand among an entire group of parents, all standing around waiting for their children to be dismissed. Each day I see many kids running out of school at the end of the day, scrambling to their parents or grandparents to be taken home.

I have noticed one other mother....who stands off to the side and back of the group....very similar to me. I have noticed her son also runs out to greet her in the exact same manner as you do me. In fact....out of all the children there, we two mommies are blessed because you seem to be the only two children who run to your mommies not able to wait to give us body slamming hugs. Hugs so tightly we almost fall over from their forceful entries. You both have such big smiles on your faces! I hear similar sounds coming from this other little boy as I do you...sounds of non-suppressed glee in a world of I don't you also both roll your heads back with your eyes almost closed and mouths in big grins.

Then I notice something else similar you and this other little boy seem to do. You both begin pulling on us mommies to go! This does not consist of one or two pulls or tugs at our arms......but you put your entire bodies into it.....and us mommies do the same things too. Thus begins the daily tug of war. We both very calmly stand there and tell you kids to be patient and wait just one more minute. Over and over this same scenario gets played after day......while all the other parents and kids are already leaving we continue to play tug of war with our two little boys as we talk about your days with your parapros.

I imagine from a Birdseye view we would definitely stand out. I imagine it would look much like we two mommies and you two little boys were oil wells moving back and forth, up and down, with a bunch of Army Ants scrambling all around us looking for the black gold. It does not appear many other parents notice this however, though they might....but they are really too focused on just leaving with their own kids I think.

But as I stand there each day I wonder if she too has noticed this. To a mommy like me the signs now are so obvious. I don't really care what diagnoses her child may or may not have. To me he is just another little boy like you....maybe with a few more obvious quirks than some of the other more hidden quirks of your peers. BUT....among a sea of many I do take some solace in knowing another mommy is facing similar challenges with her own son...and that she more than likely "gets it." While others around us may wonder what the crap is wrong with our kids or what is going on and why they are not always easily listening to our repeated commands and directives....we both stand silently just "knowing" and it all makes perfect sense to us. We no longer ask the whys. We just accept now and "get it" and "deal with it" and do the best we can like any other parent out there. It is only our circumstances are a little different.

As I watch her and her son interact with each other I see you in his actions and gestures. You both do many similar things. Yesterday this second mommy had not quite made it to the gate before her son saw her and started running toward her much like a defensive tackler in a football game. He bolted and charged......running nonstop to her...his destination.....and body slammed into her so hard it nearly knocked her down....the entire time not realizing he had also just run right out into the street and across it....without looking to make sure it was safe to cross. He also soon realized he made a mistake as the second mother calmly took him aside and hugged him tight and speaking very softly and calmly to him said the exact same things I would have to you......reminders about crossing without looking....what you did wrong and what you should do the next repetition of the same material out of hundreds....and then dragging him back to the parapro to find out about his day.

Then their daily tug of war began with him pulling against her body wanting to leave...not able to tolerate standing still for even a second.

I found myself watching this and smiling. Because it was like I was watching us......only with different bodies and faces.

In this school you are attending now I have noticed a lot of special needs children all around us so I imagine there are many parents who GET IT......all in different ways.

With Thanksgiving approaching....I just want to thank God for you Noah....because you are indeed a blessing to all the lives you touch...and I know you will be successful at anything you set your mind to.

I love you...



Patty said...

At the rate he is going, I'm sure he will grow into a fine up man that you will be very proud of. One who I am sure will make sure his Mommy is taken care of it and when that time comes.

Love you both.

kristi said...

Yes, I totally get that. When I pick TC up for therapy (early from school), as soon as he sees me, he RUNS as fast as he can, hollering out ,"MAMA MAMA!" It is adorable to me, but he has been given strange looks.