Tuesday, June 19, 2007

something that ticks me off ....

I got an anonymous comment on my blog here that I rejected posting. Basically it said this:

"it is time to get him a more mature haircut-he is too old for the bowl cut-especially if he is going to go to school in the fall."

I did not post it as a comment.....but instead decided to post it here as part of a new post as it got me to thinking about some things.

First of all since you chose to be ANONYMOUS I have no idea who you are......your background, age...and awareness of autism or ignorance thereof. The matter-of-fact way you left the comment makes me tend more toward thinking you are perhaps more "ignorant" of autistic children than aware. Of course I could be wrong. Again I have no way of knowing.

BUT for some reason your comment pissed me off. SO I am addressing it here for all to see. I have tried to figure out all the WHYS of why it pissed me off so much. I think because it so clearly shows the mentality of the general population in our world today. I doubt you are truly concerned he will maybe get picked on one day probably by a child with opinions such as you displayed here.

Noah is a UNIQUE individual. His hair or lack thereof or hairstyle should make NO difference whatsoever in the grand spectrum of things. And yet for some like you ANONYMOUS.....it seems to be of grave concern.

I have no desire to mainstream Noah and turn him into a cookie cutter version of whatever is most popular in the world today. The way he has his hair is HIS choice and HIS preference....because he prefers things to remain the same. He has HUGE issues with scissors and razors and electric hair clippers. He will not let anyone touch his hair in that manner yet. One day maybe it will be no problem for him to walk into a Barber Shop for a regular hair cut like everyone else. For now.....at 8 years of age ...still a little boy.....having a bowl-cut hair style should be of no concern to anyone....his peers, teachers and especially adults. It does not affect his performance. It does not affect anything he says or does. I highly doubt any other child would even think about such things yet to make fun of about another child..or I can at least hope they have not. This is what is sadly so wrong in our society today. Our kids are being taught you have to FIT IN to be acceptable. Well I for one know that is a load of crap! I relish ANYONE child or adult who has the fortitude to withstand being unique in the world today despite pressure placed on them from all angles.

This is one reason part of me wishes I could just keep Noah in a safe place...away from crap like this that he will have to learn to face one day like I did and everyone else in the world does. ...sometimes turning people out just like ANONYMOUS......who are forever stuck thinking one MUST look just like everybody else or they won't fit in and be accepted.

Noah believe it or not is OBLIVIOUS to his hair.....or anyone else's hair. However he does not want anyone messing with it. He could care less what color a child is.....whether or not they are disabled......what age they are.......etc. He truly tries to see and find the person WITHIN the outer being....and that is what he focuses on.

I wish more of society would be like him in that respect.

To be honest......I am more afraid of him being made fun of for still needing help in the restroom by his aide even if they are female.......at 8 years of age.....than what kind of hair cut he has!

AND more importantly....I am thankful he has accepted his hair....because when he was younger he went through a period of pulling it out and he had little to NO hair on the entire top of his head.....


KC's Blog said...

Oh my gosh now they are bitching about his haircut! I think Noah is gorgeous, never mind the anonymous idiots who have not guts to post their name!

Kindness said...

Well put Melinda! The audio/visual assault that a simple pair of scissors or an electric clipper presents is not something easily dealt with by the individual with autsim... it took years before my niece would tolerate a normal hair cut. Thank God for the gal who took the time to get to know her and make her feel comfortable enough to endure a simple hair cut.

Keith said...

As Noah's father, I firmly stand for him and Melinda. How dare anyone TELL Melinda how to cut our son's hair. This is who Noah is! We don't tell you how to dress, how to wear your hair, so please, don't tell Melinda either. Besides, if you have to hide behind anonymity that indicates to me that you really do lack integrity and conviction. People how do such...also are the ones who will undoubtably point their fingers at special needs individuals and say...Why can't you be normal?
Well dear anonymous, why CAN'T you be normal?

Keith (Proud Dad of Noah)