Dear Noah...

On Father's Day we went to spend the day at you grandma and grandpa L.'s house for a cook out and your cousins were there. I took you kids to the park. Your cousin Audrey who is 7 and your cousin Alex who I think is 14 now.....soon to be 15.....came along with us to the local park. They have an amazing place there....with huge wooden castles and all these slides and sensory things you can play on. While there I was once again quickly reminded of how far behind you are developmentally physically. I know before when you were tested you were always at least 2 years behind where you should be for your age. Sometimes 3-4 years. You have come a long way....but today I noticed a few things. I am not going to compare you with your cousin Audrey who is 7 years old or your cousin Alex who is much older. Everyone is different. However....I noticed today some specific things about you.

I noticed you are still fairly physically uncoordinated and weak though you have made huge improvements. While you wanted to do many of the things your cousins would do you either could not or had a very hard time handling them for the duration.

For example......any upper body strength playground equipment such as monkey bars or triangles.....or pulleys.......while you want to do them....you physically are still just incapable. I usually try to support you from below while you hang on and feel like you are gliding or climbing across the bars with your hands and arms.

Even the boards that swayed while people stood on them......while you wanted to hop on with your cousins.......they would really bounce it around and you quickly panicked and started to reach a meltdown point.....I could see it building....because you just could not hang on or stand up or handle it. It was moving too fast or bouncing too much for you to easily be able to stand on and hold on at the same time. I was able to stop them so you could get off because I could see what was happening......as you were not even able in that type of situation to physically verbalize for help! Or to tell them to STOP!

This is the type of thing that concerns me when I am away from you.....while present I can see and monitor situations and stop them from escalating to a point where you cannot handle something. If I am absent.....you would be pushed over the edge.....even unintentionally.......and then you would likely lose it or get very hurt physically. When school starts this concerns me.....because they do not yet know you or understand what makes you tick. Not that they cannot learn....but someone will have to be present to monitor situations all the time and make sure you stay safe and keep your cool! In the past these situations would escalate till you have a meltdown or get hurt. Or you would push another child. You have never enjoyed playing with rowdy rough kids or been able to handle it well. You usually preferred playing with younger children or children less rough. AND many times this means girls or even handicapped children. You have always been drawn to handicapped children. Anyway.....

I also noticed you tire very easily still.....your endurance is lacking. You looked many times today like you were going to pass out or have a heat stroke. Grant it after it rained hard it was very very humid outside. All these things will need to be monitored. You so much want to fit in and do what everyone else is doing. However.....today it was once again obvious you physically just cannot always do so. I know one day you will be able to though. Today you about lost it on the tire swing. Alex was pushing you and Audrey a bit too high. You were having a hard time hanging on and you started to panic....you would have preferred just spinning on the tire swing. The bouncy board platform......you did better sitting rather than standing. You were drawn to some bells they had on clappers kids could play with. I did not take any photos of that because I did not have my camera. However.....you chimed and chimed away......saying different pitches reminded you of different RR crossing bells. You really enjoyed that.

Then you basically just did too much in one day. Next week they want to go to Kings Island. You are really excited about that.......but I am already worried it may just be too much for you. Walking all day in the heat and you without new orthotics yet.....etc. You wear out so easily so quickly. BUT we will see how it goes and hope for the best! I am hopeful we can all have fun!

I love you Noah. I am here to make sure you get what you need to become the best you can be.

Mommy XOXOXOX