Monday, March 14, 2005

SURROUNDED BY STOP SIGNS-that is how Noah sees his world

SURROUNDED BY STOP SIGNS IN THE CLASSROOM...that is how Noah sees his world everyday. Do they help him? usually does with him I guess....he sees the sign and is very I guess they think it will help to reinforce the STOP and NOT going out the door. I am glad they have them but I think after awhile Noah is feeling boxed in literally. I dont know. I expressed concerns this morning to the teacher who was extremely defensive. I called her on the fact that last week after she told me to talk to Keith about what we might consider as options for Noah IF her program did not work out before she called the director to schedule a meeting...that she went ahead and had already SCHEDULED a freaking meeting with the director before I had even told her what Keith and I had discussed. I had told her that pretty much indicated to us she had already decided in her mind that HER program was NOT going to work for Noah as she told me Friday she had scheduled a meeting with the director to discuss WHERE they were going to place Noah AFTER spring break. She stood there mouth gaped open.....eyes funny...she KNEW I had caught her in a lie and she wrote it off as "well it had to be a misunderstanding"..."I told you I was going to call Barb"...blah blah blah. SHE NEVER was to CALL Barb until AFTER we had discussed what WE MIGHT consider as options....and there are NO other options from the DISTRICT so what was there to discuss anyway? She once again was referring to the program for emotionally disabled kids. Noah has already been proven to not be emotionally disabled. SO I would NEVER place him in a program like that. She said she was sorry but it was not sincere. When I told her how Noah started off his morning NOT wanting to go to school and why.....she basically stood there with her arms crossed super defensive and said "he has to learn to sit with others and not be distracting before he can do things with the other kids". HUM....and HOW ONCE AGAIN is THAT making him more socially acceptable?

SO I told her look " I am tired of telling everyone what WE know works with Noah and no one seems to be listening. We are done with the crap. If this does not work out for Noah we will be officially withdrawing him from public schools as they obviously don't have a freaking ass clue what to do with kids like him. We would homeschool him....and keep the appointment for evaluation...and based on their recommendations decide what additional therapies he will need to LEARN social skills more than we teach him already at home...etc. She of course could secretly care less as if it had been left up to her last week would have been Noah's final matter what she will tell someone to their face.

I told her isolation bothers him.....being surrounded by barriers bothers him...etc....and yet at times he seems to like that or prefer that. SO who knows. BUT he seems SAD about it all and is probably thinking "gee...what is wrong with me since I always have to sit by myself to work and go to school...etc." What kind of life is that for a 6 year old to have to try to deal with? Especially since he cannot quite grasp concepts to begin with? He does not get to do anything with any other child while at school except for a few minutes in the morning during so-called "CHOICE" time. Then a kid named Mark comes and plays with him. They play cars. That is it. So basically school right now is just playing a babysitter for Noah as they keep trying all these different things to conform and make my little angel boy square peg fit into their perfect little round holes!

My job is suffering as I cannot concentrate on anything but this. It slowly takes over everything in your life. I am so exhausted so I then cannot get up and do my work..which means I then have to try to do it during the day which is near impossible with everything else going on. I have already expressed my concerns to my boss. I told her even if I wanted a break in my position since no one can cover for me while gone I basically cannot take a break from work. BUT I may have to. I am getting a very bad attitude about everything in general and am so sick and tired of public school staff thinking they know what is best for your child when time and time again they prove to us they don't have a clue. Not when it comes to dealing with someone like Noah.

SO...........on that note I better get to the other PC and work. I have about 20 tapes sitting over there

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