Friday, March 11, 2005


Figures. I am trying to lighten up my blog (color-wise) and am having trouble. I guess eventually the changes will take place. I have 2 blogs and find it hard to keep up with both I know sometimes they overlap! OH WELL..that is life.

So....mammograms. SO much freakin fun. Not so bad really....but....then you get a tech whose goal in life is to smash your breasts as flat as she can and make you cry! They almost seem to delight in it and want to laugh. Seems weird to me. AND...what are they supposedly tracking that requires a second view? Weird too..first I have heard of it. My doctor said she would have the head of Radiology call me and tell me if there is anything to be concerned about. She had not heard of anything being tracked either.

Noah had an "okay" day today. We are already given the impression this teacher has given up on him too or just does not want the "inconvenience" of trying to make things work in her small protective classroom setting. I don't know. I don't really care. I know ONE week is not enough time to tell if things will or won't work in that setting. We are going to do another week...but even that is not long enough. Noah has so many issues and we can deal with them pretty effectively at home. I sometimes wonder why the so-called "professionals" cannot. Seems odd. You mean after all their extensive training and knowledge and education they still don't always know best? WOW.....what a concept. Meanwhile Noah I am sure is frustrated. He has to be. When he goes out to recess with his paraprofessional they normally prop open the door to get back in with a trash can. Today it was another kid holding the door open. Noah thought it was a stranger and did not like the looks of the kid or something. He took off. Got clear over to where the bike racks are. FINALLY his para was able to stop him and have him come back. WHAT IF SHE CANNOT DO THAT ONE DAY? WHY is it I am constantly bombarded with the feeling that my son is never safe unless he is with me 24/7?? Why is it that no one else seems to be able to handle him or figure out how to work with him in a successful manner? DOES ANYONE EVER LISTEN to what I try to tell them??? I honestly think I would be better off talking to myself and just having Noah with me 24/7. I do not have any faith at all in any public school setting. WHY is it everyone thinks your kid needs to be in school? Noah does so much better at home and responds so much better at home. He is SAFE secure as he can be. WE ACTUALLY WATCH HIM........keep him safe. NEW CONCEPT I guess.

I just don't even have the energy today to go on and on and on about this. I put in a call to the director of the district's IEP crap....and told her there was no reason to have another meeting next week to decided WHERE Noah shall go after spring break. IF this school does not work out we will NOT be placing him in yet another school or program to see IF it will work. We will keep him home....keep him safe and have his formal evaluation completed on April 14th at Children's Hospital and go from there. But you wonder.....what kind of future is anyone going to have let alone someone like Noah?

Stress level is high but weird...I guess I am getting numb to it to some point. I have work to do. Maybe I can concentrate on that for a bit.

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