Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Dear Noah....the new year approaches!
(Noah sitting in our refrigerator in our apartment we had a long time ago in Colorado....looking at all the food....with his coat and hat on)
I cannot believe you are now 10 years old.....and I cannot believe we are headed into a new year.
When we have the passing of time pushed in our faces so directly like this....it can tend to bring me down a bit or make me feel sad.....because some of "time" seems to be passing by too quickly.....while other portions of time seem to not pass quickly enough!
I am anxious for the changes to be here NOW that I want for you and myself in life....and it is extremely frustrating when they are not. I have to constantly block out all those little negative voices inside my mind that try to tell me things will never change or this or that will never happen when I know they will. But I also doubt it will be entirely easy.
There are times it is all just too overwhelming and it makes me tired. I become like Scarlet O'Hara then and tell myself "I will worry about that tomorrow."
I also still feel badly because yesterday on our way back home from running 2 errands while driving we passed an elderly man who looked a bit homeless on crutches trying to walk on those crutches carrying plastic sacks of items from the drugstore back to wherever he had come from. He had stopped on the sidewalk and you could tell he was struggling. EVERYONE kept driving past him....and while I know it is not always safe for a woman to pick up someone.....I felt his poor man certainly needed the help and was not trying to sabotage someone into pulling over to pick him up to then hurt them. I at least wanted to go back by and get a closer look.
I had planned on heading up the street and turning around to go back and ask him if he wanted a ride. I am so upset today because this morning I realized that I got distracted on the way up the street and I forgot to turn around and go back to see if the man needed help. I forgot until this morning. FORGOT!!!!!!!! Until THIS MORNING! How in the world did I get so distracted in a matter of minutes I could forget to turn the car around and go ask that poor man if he needed help? I know he did because I have been on crutches before and unless you strap bags around your head or neck and back..you cannot carry them on the handles of the crutches and walk without the bags swinging you off balance.
I am ashamed of myself that I somehow forgot this man.....until TODAY! MUCH too late to help him. I hope and pray he made it to wherever he had to go. I ask God to forgive me as I certainly flunked that test.
So this is a short post. I love you...I just made you some chocolate chip cookies and a fresh batch of party mix for you.