Monday, August 06, 2007

Dear Noah....

I have been working with you lately on "making your presence known" as you have a tendency to walk in a room where I am but my back is turned toward you....and you are very quiet....and do not say anything to let it be known to me you have even entered the room. I usually turn around and there you are.....and sometimes it startles me or catches me off guard.

I remember when you were little and would wake up in the middle of the night and need would walk into my bedroom.....but just stand there. You would not think about tapping me or calling out to me "mommy, I need _____" just stood there silently. Somehow I could sense someone was there and would wake up and find you standing there. You were still doing that even here last 7-1/2 years of age. Coming into my room in the middle of the night or early morning......but not saying a word. Just standing there. I have gone through the drill many times with you as to what you SHOULD do in that scenario.....and finally......a few months sunk in and you now GET IT. IF you come into my room and need TELL ME. It was months of constant prompting....what to say and what to do in each step.

We had to go through that when you were much younger far as how to go up and even say hello to other kids. What you might ask you could ask their name...etc....because you would walk up to them but just stand there......not knowing what to say or how to act. I am thrilled to see you now not only participate in conversations.....but MANY TIMES INITIATING them...even with adults! You have made tremendous progress!

However......this new little trend of yours (not entirely new as you have done it before in the past but stopped it)......where you come into a room where I am.......and do not let me know you are there but you end up right behind me 9 times out of 10......sort of freaks me out sometimes! I know you do not realize that this seems odd or off or inappropriate. Trying to teach you this is very upsetting to you because you feel you are doing something wrong and end up crying and do not always understand. BUT I know you will GET IT one day soon.

Today we initially had a follow-up appointment to keep at your orthopaedic doctor......but we did not have anything yet to follow up on so I canceled. BUT YOU did not know this.....and I heard you get up earlier to go to the bathroom and you must have looked at the clock because I heard you say "OH NO!"........but instead of coming in to wake me and ASK ME about just walked by my bedroom door and looked my way but went back to bed. Later when you did finally wake came in and climbed on my lap in my office and said to me "You failed to wake me up 2 hours earlier than usual for my doctor's appointment you idiot!"

I was caught off guard by that but not entirely. For YEARS I did not let you read many of the Peanuts Comics and such because you did not and still are not very good at discerning what are and are not appropriate comments to make to someone. I am not even totally sure you understand what IDIOT read it in your Peanuts Comics. Same as BLOCKHEAD.......and STUPID....which I have heard you recently blurt out in different situations! Same as OH GOOD GRIEF (which is acceptable in most cases...haha).

SO I have also been trying to work with you on those things. Especially before school. I can only imagine how well it would go over if you said something similar to a teacher! YIKES!

I guess you could sum it up saying we have been working on social skills a lot lately.

Today it seemed the heat index was 120 degrees outside. It was unbelievable! I did hear it was 110 heat index. Supposed to get even hotter later this week. So we took off to Indiana to an antique mall and walked around in there and explored. We had a great time and you loved the road trip.

It won't be long and school will be starting!

I love you the moon and back again.....forever and ever I will!



KC's Blog said...

K.C. does the very same thing. He'll just stand there, he wont tap me or utter a sound. I only know when he's there because I sense it as you did with Noah. I am trying to het him to nod "yes" or "no" but have been unsuccessful :( I have never seen him no yes or no. Did Noah pick up on nodding quickly? How did you get him to do it?

Melinda said...

Hey did not pick up on nodding and in fact.......I don't think he really nods now. I just had to keep telling him to "use his words" and to "talk" and let me or someone else know when he needed something. It was just constant prompting and redirection.

Anonymous said...

Interesting post.

It is going to be a super hot day here today. Stay cool Noah.

The Autism Express said...

i really love the concept of your write letters to your son. this is a wonderful idea. i am a parent to a child on the spectrum too. my son is now eleven years old and it took him a good many years before he would yell for me by name.

i would love to add you to my links on my website. you have a wonderful site here and i would like to visit often.

my site is:

Melinda said...

that is very sweet..feel free to link me. I will visit your blog too. Noah wakes up every morning and will now open my door.......but he won't say anything. He sits on the floor behind me. I have often waited to see how long it would take before he said GOOD morning to me....he never does without me saying something to him first. is a work in progress!

Thanks for your visit and comments! :)

Drama Mama said...

Hey Melinda.
Does Noah like games? My daughter did the same thing for a long time. I recall that I did something like for every 'good morning' (kiss optional, but she is ALWAYS good for a kiss) she got a big hug and a treat from the treasure box in my nightstand. (Little plastic things from Oriental Trading - dentist office-like stuff)

Those little reinforcers did alot for potty training and other things, I recall.

We made up games for just about everything, and that was always our key into our child. She is always up for fun.


Melinda said...

thanks dad for stopping by!

Thanks drama mama.....Noah loves games. Having him "recall" or "remember" what to do in the mornings for example does not seem to work well. I mean he gets up and comes to my office door where I am working.....opens the door.....but will never come in and say good morning. Instead he sits or lies down outside the door.....and waits...for me to say something to him first. I guess. ONCE I do that......he immediately responds back "Good morning" and then comes over and crawls into my lap for kisses and hugs and talking about the night and dreams.....etc. He just does not ever initiate the conversation in the mornings.....