Dear Noah: "Best day of my life ever!"

Today we decided to take a drive to Indiana to find some RR crossings and take pictures. We are only about 11 miles outside of the border of one spot in Indiana...Union City, so we headed off. HALF of Union City is in Ohio, the other half in Indiana.

This is only the Ohio side...We will have to go back and get the Indiana towers...it was getting late and we had to get back:



Of course today was EAT OUT FRIDAY which started out with the intent to have ONE meal out. You decided on breakfast at McDonalds. Well....we ran over there in the morning and I had to come back for a mandatory conference call for work. I worked for a bit. Got some things done....the weather was gorgeous....so we headed to Indiana. This meant LUNCH out....so you got Burger King of course. (OF NOTE, when I take Noah out like this to eat I rarely also eat out at a fast food place....so he had 3 meals out...I had one sandwich out...my system cannot usually handle fast food more than that!)

While finding all the different and new RR crossing signals in this one small town in Indiana you were beaming. You looked at me so excited and shouted "THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE EVER!" I think the following photo expresses that:



You were beaming and so happy! SO excited! Check out your face:



We took many photos of RR crossing signals. They had a cool A&W Rootbeer stand in the town and right beside it was a working RR crossing signal someone had displayed in their yard. SO we had to get out and take your photo there:



You got to stand on some RR ties:



A new style of coupler you said you wanted a picture of:



You and a cantilever crossing signal:



All sorts of signals and lights:









And we found an old train depot and station (that has been turned into an art museum)





And you even liked the weeds in the brick pavement:



Mommy was impressed with all the old telephone poles and lines...all cut now....but it brought back a lot of memories...they were all over the place in Indiana! Anyone else remember these?



REMEMBER THESE??



We came back to the Ohio side and did some grocery shopping. AND of course on the way home since it was late you got to eat out again. This time at Kentucky Fried Chicken!

All in all.....today you had a "perfect day!" Eating out THREE times...tons of RR crossing signals and lights and things to see. They even had a RR park and RR restaurant. I imagine we will have to head back there again!

I love you! :X

Dear Noah: discussing Burger King's Menu

CLICK ABOVE

Dear Noah: Fly Friend...

Well today you were excited as you came in to announce you had a new friend. A new "fly friend" that you said you were going to call "hungry" because it kept flying around trying to eat crumbs on your desk. You were ooohing and aaaahing about it like it was a newborn baby, letting it climb on your hands and arms. You wanted to keep your door shut for fear he would "escape" and you were very happy.

Till he started to buzz around your ears. Then you had a change of heart. Then you wanted him OUT of your room and immediately. You finally shooed him out of your room and have kept your door closed the rest of the day for fear your former fly friend would fly back into your room.

You have also picked up some phrases. I have noticed a recurring one when I am trying to tell you something you need to remember to do, you will interrupt me and loudly say "okay...okay..I GET IT!"

hum....(tapping fingers)

Another one is: "Come on I haven't got all day!" (which I know you got from me).

You have also been obsessing about eating out all the time. Today you made a 15 minute videoclip of Burger King's items on their menu. You could have done a commercial as you really got the closing line, "HAVE IT YOUR WAY AT BURGER KING" down so well.

anyway......your former fly friend has not moved on to the kitchen area where his chances of survival have greatly increased, unless he starts buzzing my ears.

I love you very much Noah.

mommy :X

Dear Noah: this is a hard post to write...

I have done a lot of thinking lately. You have done a lot of talking to me. You have wanted to watch old videoclips from when you were younger. I understand that appeal so I dug some clips on a CD out from a box and let you take them to your room to watch them. Numerous times however, since watching those clips, you then come to me crying, telling me how you long for an old rug, a specific toy, or even your old bedspread that you used to have in your old bedroom in the condo where we lived when Daddy and Mommy were still married. Or you come crying because you think daddy should be living with us......and we should remarry. AND then you cry because you want to live with daddy..or have us move back to Colorado to live...you say preferably in the condo below our former one where Daddy still lives....so then we could leave our doors open and you could come and go between the two freely.

I explain we can look for a new rug like the old one, or that even a new one is okay, but that change will always happen in your life and IT IS "OKAY". I tell you many things...including how while Daddy and Mommy can be friends, we could not ever remarry. I know you do not understand this. One day you might and then again maybe you never will. This sends me back in time to when you were in preschool and any change in your daily routine, room, clothing, toys, ANYTHING would set you off. Very much like lately when you have been reminiscing.

This tears me up inside and makes me feel horrible. It is not your fault but that is how it all makes me feel. Because part of me feels very responsible for obviously being the one to make the decisions I did to tote you across 4-5 States to end up where we are today. Trying to start a new life for ourselves, one that can include my extended family and hopefully still your daddy.

The problem is you complain you do not see him enough. I have set up your computer in your room now to where you can talk to your daddy online. You also spend a lot of time talking to him on the phone. I know it was not my fault why I ended the marriage and came here with you. I know it was for the best. I will also not dog your daddy.....because he is your father. AND while he made some serious errors of judgment in the past...we can all screw up in life.

With that all being said, it has been extremely difficult. You have adjusted very well and love living here. I love our home and the space. BUT at the same time I think you could easily live with your father and be happy. Of course in your perfect world in your mind if you had it your way, we would develop a way to have the best of both, very much like your proposed plan above; where we buy the condo below your daddy's condo, and then you could see him whenever you want.

I have to admit at times that is appealing. Because he would be there to take the pressure off sometimes and to help out and you would maybe be happier. We both love Colorado very much. However, then we would be back living in a State with no one around to do things with or share things with or visit. You would have almost NO social outings and family get togethers. Not that we do a lot of that now, but we CAN if we want to or a holiday or birthday pops up. We would not be limited to annual visits alone and having to drive 1200 miles to go visit let's say, "grandma."

I have also realized I would like to have a life and reclaim some of ME that I used to be and NEW parts of me that I hope to become. Hopefully eventually that will also involve a man in some degree. However, you also do not understand that. Well you do to a point. You call any man I talk to on the phone "the father you don't marry" or my "honeybunch." I have not gone on any dates since divorcing your father. AND I know you well enough to know you would just be thrilled to have another warmblooded body in the house you could talk to and share things with. You would be happy. So that would not ever be an issue for you.

BUT.....this brings me to my most recent life. I have signed up on some silly singles sites just to try to MEET new people in MY area I live in now, thinking I could eventually meet a group of people with similar interests and start doing things together. SO far I have not made it past weeding out men who are there merely for sex or forms of sex like phone sex and such. I realize the prospects of perhaps finding a good man, one who would also want to get to know you and love you and include you in their life might be very slim. I know it is possible and it can exist....but I also have to face the possibility it won't happen or won't happen easily.

I was always hopeful that your mommy could have a life with possibly a new male partner of some sort that would also include you. While I still think it possible, I am now wondering how likely that will be. Maybe I will eventually just meet some friends to hang out with. That would be fine, but it still does not remove some of the natural desires I have as a woman. SO what do I do with all that? Put my life on hold till you are an adult? Because even then there is a chance you will still require some assistance on my part just to live. DO I just focus on us and you and our lives together? I have been doing that...it is good and feels right...and yet it does not remove my feelings and needs.

I will not ever have a man in my life that also does not want to get to know you or include you. You need not ever fear that. That is a requirement. I am also not feeling sorry for myself...this is the life I have chosen and I would rather be alone than be somewhere I know I am not supposed to be or with someone I am not supposed to be with. BUT then there is you. Where does that leave you? At the very least I have made things a bit inconvenient for you to have the best world you desire. AND I KNOW I am YOUR mommy and the adult and the one that has to decide what is best for us all.

I just hope I am not screwing up your life permanently and you will survive and thrive from any decisions I make.

I love you Noah, more than you will possibly ever know.

mommy :X

Dear Noah: Friday, March what.....?

I am just amazed at how quickly time is passing. It seems like only yesterday that I was taking the Christmas tree down and putting it away and here it is almost Easter. I look at you and remember you being so small...but now see you growing up and even developing (at times) a semi-snotty attitude! I am hopeful that is not a sign of things to come as you get into your "teen" years!

You came to me today and said you had a nightmare last night. I asked you if you knew what a nightmare was because in the past you did not and I wanted to see if you had learned and remembered what it was. You said "it's a bad dream." So great....you DO know what it is.

You then proceeded to tell me how you and I and your grandparents and great grandma all SKIDOOED into one of your favorite TV shows "The Avatar"....(skidoo in this case is from Blues Clues where you can "jump" into a picture or place magically).



I guess once in the Airbender's house (who is the Avatar) he seemed to disappear and a tornado struck! It was 200 MPH! Apparently you and I went to the bathroom to take cover but you said everyone else remained at the dining room table.




I find dreams fascinating and do dream interpretations a lot. I know there is some significance in even this dream/nightmare you had......

I found the portion of your dream about the tornado significant as it can mean:

You are experiencing some extreme emotional outbursts and temper tantrums. To dream that you are in a tornado, signifies that you are feeling overwhelmed and out of control. You could be met by a series of disappointments for the next week or so. Your plans will be filled with complications.

If I were able to step inside your mind for a few minutes I imagine it would be very much like a tornado as I know your mind rarely quiets and rarely rests...it is always busy with thoughts and motion! YOUR emotions are HUGE and always over-the-top, though you are making progress in learning to control them better. You feel overwhelmed a lot and out of control...and always in your mind at the very least, feel disappointed about many things each day.

So just THAT portion of your dream alone is significant. It gives us a window into your busy mind and concerns.

UPDATE on the "WHAT THE!".......I think even I am starting to get a little sick of hearing it...but I try to tune it out. Last night I did finally tell you ENOUGH! I think that lasted for a bit.....before I heard you once again in your room every so many minutes spouting out "WHAT THE!"

sigh........your tired mommy loves you Noah.....to INFINITY and beyond....forever I will!

mommy :X

feeling squirrely on the first day of spring...

This one reminded us of a prairie dog!



Here I think he hit his head on the clothesline pole:



And here he hung upside down like a bat to eat from the feeder!

Dear Noah: "WHAT THE!!"

A new phrase you discovered on YOUTUBE.COM from another child who also makes videorecordings of toy trains. Every so often you will hear this kid should out "WHAT THE!..."

Something about that phrase you love......and now that is all I hear......I woke up this morning to little shouts of "WHAT THE!"

I asked you if the child ever FINISHED the sentence with perhaps ANOTHER word? You told me sometimes he says HECK. SO..."WHAT THE HECK!" Not bad. That would be acceptable in most situations.

Right now you are playing behind me as I sit here and type this....and I hear every few seconds you blurt out "what the!" .....rattling of toys and again, "WHAT THE!"......

When you first became fascinated with Charlie Brown and the Peanuts Gang books and stories you frequently resorted to using common phrases from there. You really seemed to enjoy "OH GOOD GRIEF!" and in fact still use that one many times!

I do have to wonder as you get older if you will start filling in the blanks with the missing word or words? I really hope you just stick to the "WHAT THE!" because in reality it says the same thing anyway. We all hear the SILENT word(s) at the end....we fill them in with the word we would probably choose to finish the sentence so you need not even say them. When you are much older...that will be different.

Trying to teach you there are some words and phrases as well as some behaviors that are just not socially acceptable....is pretty tough. Sometimes you will say you get it but you really don't because then the next time we are out and someone jokingly says something like "if you don't stop it I will rub this booger on you!" you......well......you just go and do it for them! I cannot count the number of times when you were in public school that you got into trouble for doing similar things such as that.

so my little man........"WHAT THE!"

i love you

mommy :X

Dear Noah: library and park day

We did manage to get to the new temporary library today. I could tell just the change in atmosphere, though a good one, tended to set you off a bit. You were having a very hard time focusing on looking at any books. You wandered down row after long row of books, stroking the wooden tops all the way down as you went. You were more interested in checking out the furnace and looking for a bathroom. Just exploring the architecture. You were excited to see the new children's area of books and seating arrangements. You quickly grabbed a book and went to a table to sit down and read.

We did not stay too long. We went and got you some lunch and took it to the park to eat it in the truck...and then you got out and ran around and played on the swings and slides. You noticed immediately they had replaced the older swings with new kiddie swings. While this bothered you...you did say "well at least they are colorful!"...which indeed they were. Red, yellow and blue all mixed up in a long row.

You love to swing. You could swing for hours. I remember swinging for hours. Now it tends to make me feel like I want to puke if I do it too long. BUT we did swing together and then I got off my swing and just watched you and pushed you when you needed extra help.

It was a bit chilly but sunny. A good day. You were very tired after the park though and was more than ready to go home.

SO...ONE wiping your butt episode before leaving...SEVEN more once we got back home before bedtime...(from about 4:00 p.m. till around 10:00 p.m.). YOU DID have a bowel movement each time or part of a bowel movement.

And we did work in some school review today.

You make the funniest SIGHS when you have to WIPE your own butt. You so reluctantly do it....and today you told me "it bored you" to wipe your own butt. You SOUNDED bored. I find that amusing...but when I started to chuckle and laugh you got very upset. I told you to get over it...because wiping your own butt was something you had to learn to do...AND the quicker you learned it and did it the quicker you could get over being bored.

You also said said "I'm bored" today driving in the car to the Dollar Store where we ended up NOT going inside because you did not want to....but there you also added a slight eye roll and another sigh to the comment.

yeah...oh yeah....I have many ways to keep you my little man from getting bored!

i love you

mommy XOXOXOX

Dear Noah: the story of what to do about pooh continues...

With some of your developmental milestones....they were slow in coming. Since I did not seem to produce enough milk for you as a baby to breastfeed I also supplemented you with bottles and eventually you switched over to bottles. You did not part from the bottle till one morning when you were 2 years old......actually 2 years and 2 months. You went to bed the night before drinking the bottle...walking around the house with the bottle IN your mouth...rarely putting it down...to waking up the next morning only drinking milk from a Sippy Cup and flat out refusing a bottle. Never drinking from one again.

For potty training....that too took forever. You were 5-1/2 years old before you finally FINALLY got out of Pull-Ups. NOT that you were completely potty trained...but you were at least out of Pull-Ups. I had to work like the devil to get you to be completely potty trained after that.....and what a heart wrenching nightmare that was (because you were really not ready to poop in the toilet yet).

AND that saga has not quite ended yet....because while you are potty trained and can actually pee in entirety by yourself....and go have a bowel movement in the toilet by yourself....you STILL....at 8 years and 3 months of age......will not want to always WIPE yourself after a bowel movement.

This is a constant day-by-day ongoing semi-battle/struggle between us. You are very concerned about the least little bit of poop being in your butt...so you go to the bathroom constantly and think you need wiped constantly. EVEN if you do not actually have a bowel movement you tell me you need wiped and need checked and you are always running to the bathroom with no pants or underwear on to bend over in front of the full-length mirror to check your butt for signs it might need wiped off.

NOW you are to the point where you bend over so far and spread your little cheeks so wide you obviously also spread your rectum apart and can always SEE poop right there so you think you always need to be cleaned off or wiped up.

On a good day this only happens a handful of times. If we are out and you are busy it might be only a couple of times (which quickly gets made up for once home again).

On the average day probably well over 15-20. On a really obsessed day 20-30+? more or less...

What does this mean for the average person's life...like your mommy for example. Now I love you so much.....but what it means for me is this:

About every half hour or so (sometimes sooner sometimes longer) you are calling me to come check your butt. There you are in the bathroom....completely naked...bent over.....wanting me to wipe your butt. I tell you to wipe first and then I will check. We struggle about this. You may comply quickly, other times not. I sometimes have to leave and come back once you are done.

I have to remind you again and again about this. This is something you know you are supposed to do but you do not seem to ever "willingly" want to practice without a reminder. So we do the reminder. You wipe. I check. I end up having to wipe again because you do not have the strength in your hands to really push in against your rectum properly to wipe properly...hence the use of wet wipes which work wonders!

Now we have to use wet wipes and baggies to dispose of the wet wipes because we do not flush them in the toilet any longer. You wash up. I wash up. We go back to business as usual.

THEN....15-20 minutes later I see you naked again. In your room or running down the hallway announcing "I have to do #3...I have to do #3!" Off to the bathroom again where we will repeat the entire scenario. I go back and get a few things done. Very few. Then it starts again. And again. And again.

YOU were wiping in entirety before we had plumbing issues. That was HUGE. You were starting to take care of all of it by yourself. For the first time in 8 years I did not have to check or wipe your butt at least 2-6 times I think it happened. BUT we got clogged pipes during the blizzard..and it could have been some flushable wipes. SO......we have stopped using flushable wipes.

Now we are back to where you think I need to do all the wiping because the process is a little more intense now ...wiping with paper first.....follow with the wipes....which goes into a baggie...then clean up...etc. I had to teach you how to fold toilet paper over to wipe with and use more than once. This was huge also for you. To not GAG the entire time you are wiping is also progress. You are much better now about not doing that.

It can be exhausting. I get tired just typing it here.

I think that is why I, sometimes after you wake up and I wake up, I just turn you loose. Let you do what you want. I let you spend time on your computer. It gives me a bit of a break. I am exhausted to begin with only getting about 4 hours of sleep every night. Between having to work and everything else and homeschool you......it leaves little time for me. In fact....the only real ME time would be after you are in bed.....and that is normally when I now work.

I am not complaining. I know this will pass. We have made progress. You no longer sit on the toilet like this anymore....



and most times you will leave your clothes on at someone else's house when you go to the bathroom. Definitely out in public. All steps in the right direction. I know you WILL eventually get the entire hygiene thing down. I know you will quit obsessing about bowel movements and having to wipe and check constantly. One day it may just be another overnight thing where you stop doing it. I have to admit I am sorta keeping track now though.

I am sorta counting. 8 years and 3 months and almost 3 weeks. . . .

At the same time I do seem to have more time for myself....but only if I do not direct you to do anything....and I feel bad sometimes about not making you do some things. I need to work on that I guess.

AND I DO NOT want to sound like I am complaining. I am not really. Just tired. I know other moms out there who will forever have to wipe their child's butt. They would give anything to know it was like your case...where eventually you will be able to do it yourself. SO I am not complaining. I am thankful for every step of progress you take. I truly am.

anyway....mommy loves you regardless. ;X

Dear Noah..."race car kisses"...

We have started a little ritual that you must do every night before saying goodnight or you cannot fall asleep. You demand "race car kisses" from mommy.

One might ask "what is a race car kiss?" Some might already know. It is where I lean down and in my throat start my engine....but I do it close enough to Noah's face or somewhere on his body he can feel the vibrations....and then once my "engine" is started...I hit the accelerator and shift through the gears (with my voice) till we have reached a nice cruising speed....

I started out giving these to Noah off and on a long time ago. When he was a baby he responded to sounds and vibrations of the sounds....my touch. SO I came up with different types of kisses to give to him. This is one of many that had been swept under the rug for a time...but has recently resurfaced. Noah enjoys them immensely.

In fact...now....he asks for them every night....and starts giggling before I even get close to him. AND he requests that I move the kisses ALL over his body now...on his face, his neck, his shoulders, back up to his ears and then his cheek....where I try to sustain my breath in high gear vibrating mode as long as I can against his cheekbone. Not too long into it Noah begins to also make the exact same pitched tone as I am making......and we are 2 echoes in the night for seconds in time.....till one of us runs out of breath (that would usually be me). By then I have usually partially drooled on him and he will say "eeew...another wet one!" as he wipes it off and laughs.

There are other times he will only accept my kisses on his face through the blanket. He wants a kiss but does not want to look at my face that close or my eyes or have my lips touch his. IF I do touch his skin with my lips he will wipe it off immediately. MANY times....and then wipe his face continually into the blankets and sheets. I long ago learned to not take offense at that. It is just Noah's way of handling certain sensory issues that bother him.

Sunday we decided to go to KFC and take a bucket of chicken to his grandma C.'s house. He loves going to visit her. We had a nice supper and visit afterwards. Noah was in heaven having someone else to LISTEN to all his train stories and watch him draw train crossing signals on his doodle pad. The entire time....RECORDING himself of course with his camera.

Tomorrow a new day begins and new school week for Noah. I am hopeful I can get that more organized this week than it has been for awhile now.

okay Noah.....vrrooom.....vrrooom....my engine has started.

i will love you forever

mommy :X

Dear Noah...

You never used to watch tv much at all. Occasionally some videos sure. Television? Not much. There were a few shows you got stuck on occasionally...like EMERIL....30-minute meals, Paula Dean, Dog Whisperer......House Hunters......any home improvement stuff.....most all the Discovery shows you have enjoyed along with National Geographic.

You loved Noggin and Nick Jr. shows but did not really watch them much. You especially liked Little Bill, Franklin, Miffy, Maisy Daisy, Dora the Explorer, Jimmy Neutron, Little Bear, etc. When really little you did get into Bear in the Big Blue House and a few other shows on Disney.

Since living here you have had a television in your room but you only recently started to turn it on and watch it. NOW while sitting at your computer you also turn on the tv. The TV will usually stay on the entire time you are in your room and also on your computer! You stick to one channel now mainly Nick Jr. You have an entire new set of shows you seem to be almost addicted to...such as the Avatar, Naked Brothers Band, Dora, Blues Clues, The Odd Family (something like that) and then there is SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS. You seem fascinated with them all and when I ask you about a show you almost act like a kid caught with their hands in the cookie jar...not wanting to share much about them with me...telling me to go look it up on WIKIPEDIA.....and acting like maybe they are shows I would find less than desirable for your young impressionable mind to watch.

SO I asked you if they said bad words on these shows, or did bad things. You usually tell me no. Today I went into your room to check on something and you had the tv on and you quickly grabbed your remote and tried to turn the tv off...not wanting me to see what you were watching. I knew it was a kid channel so I figured how bad could it be and it made me wonder why you would have that sort of a reaction. You got very upset and hide your eyes and closed your eyes and gritted your teeth and your face turned red and you finally had to manually go over and turn the TV off when the remote failed to do so. YOU DID NOT want to share any information on the show.....and because of a certain boy's name on the show.....you somehow thought that was bad. JOSH....short for Joshua. I am not sure why you would think a nick name would be a BAD thing. I explained to you about nicknames and how someone for example could call me MEL..short for Melinda. Once you understood that and seemed to realize it was okay...you easily turned the TV back on.

MOST shows you will not share with me..you will ask me to leave your room and if I want to know about the show to go look it up online or the other tv in the living room. I find this interesting...this whole switchover..and reasonings behind your actions. I am just trying to understand it all......and I think you are just starting to grow up more......wanting some things to be just FOR you in your special place...YOUR ROOM without your mom playing 21 questions in the background. THAT I get.

okay...see..I have rambled on in my own mind about 30 minutes on this now. AND that was just the sitting down to type it time..not the time I also spent thinking about this prior to typing it out.

Noah....I love you..very much

mommy :X

Noah recording more train stuff......he loves doing this...

Noah exploring even more...

Noah at Lowes in his element...

Noah and the cat...

We went to my sister's house one day a couple weeks back and while there Noah always gets a kick out of her cat. Here it looks like he is teaching the cat something in school......and he had a ball! The cat responded to him marking on the board....and would reach up on his side and it looked like he was making marks on his side of the board which of course thrilled Noah.

I wonder...

dedicated to Noah....a boy whose mind never sleeps...


I wonder what you are thinking about
When you stare off to faraway places
What things do you see
what words do you hear
Is it a sweet memory, or deep anxiety
Do you want to be here, or really stay there?
Does it take a special sound
To bring you back to me?
A certain tone or lingering touch
A fragrance that teases at your nose
Is this perhaps a time when your mind is quiet
And you sit confused not understanding what to do?

My mind is busy too, I guess a lot like you


Copyright ©2007 Melinda A. Napoletano

Dear Noah: dual birthday parties...

Today we went to grandma and grandpa Lincoln's house to celebrate your cousin Audrey's birthday and your aunt Becky's birthday (which were both earlier this week).

We stopped and picked up grandma C. on the way there....so she could enjoy the day with family as well. You did very well again today....but did get a bit over-excited a couple of times......though you were quickly redirected to calm down.

You had been so anxious about the day you did not sleep long enough last night...so you were tired. WHICH toward the end of your day perhaps started to contribute to you being a tad whiny. All in all however again you had a pretty good day.

You participated in most things though some bothered your ears and you looked for a place to hide....and some things concerned you but you quickly got over them. You played Topple and Tumble with your cousins and aunt Melissa....and the piano with Audrey. You even got to go outside and run around making sounds and listening for echos. (you have been making sounds and listening for echos everywhere...including here at home, in the truck, anywhere you notice one). If you find a place acoustically designed well you LOVE to make repetitive sounds and hear/feel the vibrations of the sounds.

A couple of times you forgot to shut the bathroom door when you were peeing....a couple of times you forgot to completely zip up or even pull up before leaving the bathroom....and once when aunt Angela said teasingly to Audrey something about licking her on her neck....you DID......but overall you did very well.

You are in bed now....after going to the bathroom about 5 times in a row requiring my assistance of checking your butt because after all, each time you only wiped perhaps 15%, 50%, or only 5% ...and you said I needed to do the rest.

I am exhausted and might lie down for a bit before I need to finish some work.

I love you my little man who is growing up before my very eyes...

mommy :X

Dear Noah:

I had all these magnificent things to remember that you said throughout the day....and unless I write them down right away I sometimes forget them later.

Well it is later and since I have had little sleep I forget what I wanted to say.

SO let me mull it over a bit......

I love you

mommy :X

ride the rails...

this poem I wrote is dedicated to Noah, since he loves trains



If I had one wish to give to you, to help you in your life
I'd wish for you a lifetime free, of any pain or strife
To live each day abundantly, carefree and full of joy
To seize an opportunity, though yet you're still a boy
To remember when you're under stress and need to get away
To hop that train and ride the rails, any time, night or day
The train is filled with magic to carry your hopes and dreams
To distant lands and faraway places, as the rails below you scream
There you'll know no limits, there's nothing to hold you back
As long as you believe you can, that train will stay on its tracks


Copyright ©2007 Melinda A. Napoletano
Image Source: Yahoo Images

Dear Noah:

Well....you have continued to announce "this is the first time _____ in 2007 I have done _____." You have also continued to tell me "I only wiped about 15% of my poopy this time" changing the percentage depending on what you wipe.

Tonight out of the blue you started to cry about how you wanted to get train wallpaper to put in your room...no...you wanted it over the entire house. I said we were only renting this house and we never had wallpaper anywhere we lived. You reminded me in that back in Colorado we did put up a wallpaper border in your bedroom. SO....I told you we could check into getting a train wallpaper border for your room......one of those that do not stay up permanently. AND change your room over to all train stuff. BUT it would have to remain in your room only. You cried like there was no tomorrow...but it only lasted maybe 5 minutes before I got you calmed down....and then you went on as if nothing happened. Then you got upset thinking if you put your trains away ....when tomorrow roles around you would forget to play with them. I explained to you that when the urge came to play with your trains it would come....whether you saw the trains ahead of time or not.

Then you said you had to have all your clothes and shirts and pants and shoes...all train stuff. Where would you find those clothes? And more crying.

Then you talked about how you wanted to get more trains and set up more displays.....you should sleep well tonight my little man.

...everything will be fine....take a breath.......and we will talk about redoing your room train style!

mommy loves you.... :X

this is the first time in 2007...

Noah has a really cute way of announcing to me when he does something for the first time in 2007. For example......when he went to Burger King the first time he announced "this is the first time in 2007 I went to Burger King."

He continues to do this with most things in his life. BIG things...events. AND then when the second time roles around he will say "this is the second time I _____ in 2007", etc.

He somehow keeps track in his mind...much like a computer would...and is rarely inaccurate. He does this for EVERY new year....and usually EVERY new month....after a few weeks into it....he sometimes stops......except for the New Year. Obviously we are now into March and he is still continuing it. Not sure how long he will go this time.

I have noticed too he has been naturally dividing things up into fractions or percentages......like he will say "well I ate 25% of my lunch today" or "I wiped about 50% of my poopy but now you need to come wipe the other 50%"...it can be very cute and amusing.

Sunday he told me he had a "BEAUTIFUL" day because it was an eat out day all day....he got to eat out 3 times! He was in heaven.

He had a headache tonight....even went to bed early...so I know he was not feeling great. I gave him some Motrin and by the time he was in bed ready to fall asleep....he said his headache was gone.

I still love to give him kisses at night...and when he turns his head just so....I can see the back of his neck....and it looks just like it did when he was a little guy.....like 2 or 3.....it has not changed....and I fall in love with him all over again.

good night my little man. ...mommy hopes your head feels better in the morning!

XOXOXOXO

Model RR show...

I took Noah to see the Model RR show today. I think he enjoyed it....it was actually more of a flea market of model RR train stuff. There were only 2 areas set up in the back where they had model trains set up and running. Noah really enjoyed it all regardless. We had a good time.

Then we went to his grandma and grandpa L.'s house......had a great visit and supper there. Noah really enjoyed spending time with his grandpa. They played a lot of tic tac toe and grandpa even got Noah to try a new cracker. Noah did very well tonight while there...I was impressed.

anyway.....I am tired.

love you noah

mommy :X

Noah recording train clips...

Noah and more of his trains in movies he filmed...

Noah's trains being abducted by UFO movie clip

Noah made this videoclip himself...one of MANY......

"Mommy...I think this is the grand finale of pooping for today...."

that is what Noah said to me tonight after he had gone about 10 times.....before he finally had a nice sized bowel movement. Yes...when he wipes and we go through this ordeal it is not like 1-2 times per day.......it occurs 10+ times per day.....because he will try holding his poop in......and then only let a little bit out in the bathroom in the toilet because he is afraid he is going to miss something.....so he has to wipe and I check and wipe what is left and we clean up.....only to have this entire episode repeated about 20 times in a day. He finally had a large bowel movement and proudly announced he thought it was the grand finale of his pooping for the day.

BUT it was not meant to be. He had one more large one and then a couple of what I call pip-squeak poopies which again is where he tries to hold it in and only a tiny bit comes out.

We have to go through the wipes and cleaning up and all that each and every time because he is still not wanting to always wipe himself. He finally will do it....but it is an ordeal. By the end of the day however..he finally was getting better.....so eventually we will be back in the swing of things.

it is exhausting to say the least.

mommy loves you....my little pooping machine.....;X