Dear Noah - first day away from mommy

I had to go to a mandatory "better parenting class" for people going through a divorce in order to actually GET my divorce. That is a new law in Ohio. It is a 3 HOUR class. My grandma C. volunteered to watch you while I went to the class. You wanted to go to her house instead of having her come here. SO we made arrangements to do so. The day finally arrived. We packed your bag last night. You were so excited you were going to get to visit with grandma and have her all to yourself you said....without...."what's that word mommy where I can talk to grandma all by myself and you won't be around to try to talk to her too?" I said, "Oh you mean you won't have competition?" You said "Yeah....I am so excited I will have grandma all to myself and you won't be there so I can talk to her about house plans and interstates and traffic signs and my I Spy books". On and on you went.....you were soooooo excited about it.

I said we should probably get you up in the morning no later than 7:00 a.m. but if I did not wake you right at 7:00 to not worry. We had plenty of time. I decided to let you sleep in for about 15 additional minutes and at 7:15 I heard you come running out to the kitchen where I was as fast as you could....you looked half scared and pale and worried and very sleepy still but said "Mommy.....I am very sorry that I am running a little late today!"...so very very proper....I got to chuckling. You were soooo cute and so worried I guess I would be mad. I said it was fine that I had decided to let you sleep in a bit longer as I was not quite ready yet anyway. As long as we got to grandma's by 8:15 we would be fine. You immediately got yourself all ready to go......and COMPLETELY dressed and teeth brushed and hair.....everything...all by yourself!

We stopped and got you hashbrowns and orange juice from Burger King. You should buy stock in BK....you eat there as often as you can get away with it! You ate breakfast on the way to her house. You got there and could care less I was leaving. I was so worked up and anxious about it I about puked on the way back to town to take the class. Grandma said you would be fine and "don't worry"....but I did a bit anyway. I figured you would be fine...especially if no one else came around to COMPETE for grandma's attention and time. As long as she was your captive audience you would be in HEAVEN as you say.

I don't think you even came to wave goodbye to me at the door when I left. Now you have to understand this was also a huge emotional milestone for me too. You are going to be 8 years old in December and I have NEVER left you with anyone else other than me or your daddy (ONLY a couple of times) since you were born. NO one has ever watched you as a babysitter in any fashion even a family member. SO this was huge for me and you though I was sure you were going to handle it much better than I. You have always cared less if I am around or not....which is really a GOOD thing I think......that you are independent in that way albeit a bit aloof.

The 3-hour class was slower than molasses and such a waste of time. I had to pay 35.00 for this?? WHAT a waste truly and nothing up to date or current and all to get a piece of paper that said I completed the class so I can get my divorce. Another way the state can make money. I won't even get into all the negatives about the class.

I was so anxious to get back to grandma's house to see how you did. I was just hopeful you did not chase after her or fall down in front of her like you sometimes do thinking it is funny but she is too fragile and old for you to get away with it now. I worried. BUT I got there...you opened the door....and worried I was going to want to leave right away. You kept saying you needed more time with grandma. For me to go away so you could have her to yourself ALL DAY LONG. For me to leave you all day and come back at night to get you. Grandma C. said you did great. Were no problem. Listened really well. DID very well. Were a joy to be around as she has missed you a lot since we moved out. I asked you " did you miss me even a little bit?" to which you so eloquently said:

"Mommy.....now I still love you.......but no......I did not miss you at all!"

I got to laughing....way to go Noah! We ended up spending the rest of the day there. You still did not really want to leave then. We had a great visit and grandma C. made a great meal. She taught me how to knit on this new circular loom so I made a baby cap in about 30-45 minutes...it was great. I will have to get me some of those and try them out! She then sent home a loaf of homemade zucchini bread...some leftover chicken and noodles and coleslaw and some popcorn. I love my grandma C. so much.

Well..I am exhausted. The county fair starts tomorrow. I have work to make up now from today that I missed. I am too tired to do it tonight. I also had to buy yet ANOTHER air bed as the one I was sleeping on was leaking again. You said to me "mommy......we need to get REAL beds"....and you would be right Noah.

I brought in some boxes from the garage. You wanted to play with your diggers and stuff in dirt but we don't really have any areas outside to dig in dirt. I suggested I fill up this huge box lid full of bird seed. Now there was a time you would never have dreamed about sticking your hands in bird seed let alone playing in it. BUT they worked on that in occupational therapy and you now LOVE to play in stuff like that. It seems very soothing to you. SO you are playing in the bird seed in the living room watching Emeril Live one of your favorite shows.

The locusts are chirping outside. I can hear them even through the closed windows and air conditioning. My make up is about all rubbed off my eyes and they are burning. I am tired but it is a good tired. This weekend on my days off I want to try to get some shelves up and put some things away. I need to get this office in order and your bedroom .....it is past time to make this house a HOME.

I also need to start planning on homeschool curriculum or figure out what we will do about school this year. Looks like we will do homeschooling again for sure. I have to send a letter to the new school super about that.

Okay...I need to get my PJs on.....i love you Noah Wesley and am SO VERY VERY PROUD OF YOU! Oh....you even told me once....that you should have used your CALM DOWN book as Grandma C. had put a plate and silverware at the dinner table for your lunch but you promptly took them back to the kitchen and told her you did NOT NEED them. I asked if you said it snotty to her or was mean/mad. YOU were not sure....said you should have probably used your book. You have been so very polite around others and me lately. I am so impressed. You are also getting very very smart in areas of social skills. Perhaps it is as simple as just not worrying so much....as all things seem to eventually come to pass in their own good time.

Now if we can get you to get those top baby teeth out so the new ones that have already come in will have a better chance of dropping down into place and not turning into buck teeth we will be set!

i love you my noah wesley.........forever

mommy