apology for supporting something I knew little about

Please remove me from any mention of the supporting of the Combat Autism bill...in fact...now I have to go to the other extreme and urge people to NOT support it...which I have already done so on all my blogs and support groups.

Sorry...something about this did not seem quite right all along. I had studied this bill over and over many times trying to read between the lines. I feel like such an idiot for not taking the time to DO my homework on this and find out all the facts.

The fact that the "Autism Speaks" organization supported it bothered me a good deal because I do know how they feel about "ethnic cleansing of autistics" for lack of better wording. BUT they have done a few things out there for awareness of autism albeit usually very very extreme negative awareness reflecting a bad light on kids with autism as something you DO NOT want...again to support their stance on just eliminating the possibility of any kids being born with autism or sterilizing those already diagnosed so they one day would not be allowed to have children of their own because the risk of them possibly having another child with autism would be "too great".

Same for me...would I even be able to get coverage if I became pregnant now? Because I have one child with autism already? I may be forced one day to become sterilized (if Mother Nature doesn't take care of that on her own before then) so I could not possibly have the chance at having another child for fear I may have a second autistic child and the cost of that child would outweigh the so-called benefits of having that child?

WHO gets to decide this crap? Who gets to determine MY fate let alone my own son's fate? When I was pregnant with Noah I was told to get an amniocentesis. I asked why. I was told to determine if the fetus had any abnormalities, anything "wrong" with it. I promptly told the doctors and nurses I had NO desire to risk the well-being of the fetus by performing an amniocentesis. I would accept the child as they were regardless of whether or not it had Down syndrome or any other disability. Noah was born. What more can I say? I love him more than humanly possible. He has been one of the very best things that has ever happened to me. He has changed me forever and transformed me into a more caring and compassionate and ACCEPTING person.

Who gets to play GOD in deciding who will or won't be born? What is best for us all? for me? for Noah? for all the thousands of other Noahs out there who are not even born yet??

Sorry but I cannot and will not support anything that may even remotely allow these things to come to pass in a HIDDEN meaning in a fine line sentence in a bill purporting to be GOOD for our autistic kids. Yeah they almost had me going too. I will beat myself up for this for many weeks to come. BUT I am now smarter and will be an even stronger ADVOCATE for my son's acceptance by hopefully increasing the AWARENESS of autism in our limited society. I will no longer rush into things quickly and grab for the quick fix. Hell I am not even looking for a FIX of any sort. I don't want to FIX Noah. I want people to ACCEPT him. To allow him into their worlds.....to do things with him...to allow him to learn things HIS way....to not be made fun of by others or shunned. AND some increased RESPITE care to the parents of autistic kids would be a huge plus!

anyway.......yank my name please. I am on the other side of the fence now.

I do appreciate all your concerns and helps.