Thursday, September 15, 2005

Dear Noah:

You are so special. Tonight you wanted to read more Bible stories after I told you we found a show on the Discovery Channel about the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. Little did I know it would lead to a huge dramatic episode later.

You started out by coming out and telling your daddy only that you needed a new baby brother so you could call him Jesus. You needed a baby Jesus. AND I guess you heard me and daddy talking about how we did not think Jesus and Napoletano sounded very good together as names cause you were in the bedroom talking on and on about something. I could hear "daddy is ready and mommy is ready" and something about "not Jesus Napoletano but Jesus Christ" and something about "Roman soldiers" and "king". I finally walked into the bedroom and you came running up to me and said "we don't need a Jesus Napoletano mommy we need Jesus Christ the Lord". "We need a Mommy Christ, a daddy Christ and a Noah Christ" and I said "yes we should all be as Christ-like as possible all the time shouldn't we?" and you said "yes".

I told you there was already a Jesus Christ the Lord. You then proceeded to start crying and asking why He would not come into our home and living room. I told you He was in our home and living room and all around you all the time but you just could not always see him. You really got to crying about that and wanted to know "WHY??" "Why can't Jesus come to my home?", "I want to see Jesus". "I am ready to go to Heaven now but I don't have any wings!" (tears were huge and you were almost out of control crying by now).

I proceeded to tell you that you did not need wings when you go to Heaven and your abruptly cut me off and said "but I have to have wings if I go from here or how else would I get there?" I told you that you don't go to Heaven till you die. (more crying now big time). I told you that only your physical body would die but your spirit would live forever and that it could fly all on its own and that it did not need wings to fly to Heaven. I told you that your spirit was what was inside you and made you "you" and once your body died your spirit would fly out of it up into Heaven.

You proceeded to tell me "but I am ready to go to Heaven now and I can't get there without wings and if I only go when I die I have to be an old man before that happens and I will be all alone cause you and daddy will already be dead and no one will be around to take care of me and my heart will bleed and I will die!" You were so worked up at this point it was extremely difficult to calm you down.

You asked how old we would be before we might die. I told you most people live to be into their 70s, 80s or older! You said but Abraham was almost 100 years old in the Bible before they had a baby. I told you that people lived to be very very old back in Bible days...some to 900 years old or more and that most people in the world now did not live that long but they lived longer now than many years ago and some adults then died in their 30s or 40s! I told you that if something ever happened to mommy and daddy by the time we were very old and you were older maybe you would already be married and have kids of your own and then you would not be alone. You asked "maybe when I am in my 40s?" I told you yes and that I was 40 years old before I even had you as a baby.

You talked about the fact that Joshua was only 7 years old when he became a King. You told me you were almost 7 and that you wanted to be a King. I told you that the United States did not have Kings but only presidents though a few countries in the world did still have Kings.

You worried about getting old and your "heart bleeding" and you dying. I said well we never know for sure when we will die or how. BUT that when that time came you would feel a sense of peace about it and you would not worry about it. We can pray we will die in our sleep one day when it is time. BUT I told you that we would all LIVE FOREVER! That only our bodies might die one day but our spirits would live forever and ever! AND that you were never alone, and that God was with you always. You could talk to Him anytime. Ask Him questions anytime. Pray to Him anytime. I told you that we would be with you forever. That God and people you love are with you forever in your heart! That we would always be with you and helping you whether our bodies were here or not.

By this time you were starting to calm down some. The sobs had stopped and we blew your nose. I asked you if you had ever seen Jesus before. You said in our apartment you used to see Him but that you have never been able to see him here in our condo. I then told you that sometimes when we are still very little we can still see Jesus and angels around us but as we get older we then lose that ability. BUT it did not mean they were not there....only we could no longer see them.

Finally you were calm. Wanted us all to climb in bed and lay there and read Bible stories. I then came out to the dining room and found some books on Jesus with lots and lots of pictures. You then told me to "go away now" as you wanted to relish the books and savor the moment. You are like a sponge soaking it all up and you sat there with a HUGE smile on your face!

I have never been around another child like this before. I have never known another one to be so obssessed about Jesus and anything connected to the Bible. I do know that obssessions can be part of autism and things that interest autistic people can become obssessive-like in nature. SO maybe that is part of it. But you just seem to have an insight into so many things religious based it is amazing and a bit unnerving sometimes!

I love you very very much my most wonderful little man!


No comments: