Dear Noah:

Well mommy is starting to feel like such a failure. I just cannot seem to find a place for us to live. I had decided to move back to Colorado.....and now cannot even find something affordable there! I am about to scream. SO much crap on my plate to deal with. Trying to keep working at least part-time through it all. NOW am thinking about trying to just even RENT an available unit down by your aunt Angela's apartment complex. At least there we could move in right away...and it is affordable. However...the owner/landlord seems to not really be keen on the idea I work from home and need to prove my income and credit crap to him. I can do that. He seems nice. The apartment has been completely remodeled. It has new carpet..new kitchen...new dishwasher, stove and frideg. New fencing up around the patio area. AND 1200 sq. feet. No garage...not enough storage areas...but for the cheap rent I could still rent a locker too.

I am desperate. I am depressed about all this. I am sad....want to scream and cry all at the same time. WHY can't I just go RENT A FREAKIN PLACE? I feel like I am letting you down. The pressure from family to MOVE OUT continues. NO help also continues. The rest of our lives are kind of on hold it seems till I can resolve this issue. Stress has become my first name. I feel like vomiting more than not. I feel like crying all the time today. I don't feel sorry for myself but do wish I had an instant solution to the problems we face.

Crap continues. All crap. CONSTANT crap. I don't think I can take much more.