Dear Noah.......you stayed home from school again today.....

and did not even wake up until 10:30 a.m. which is NOT like you. I am going to call and see if we can get you in to see the doctor as you have just not felt like yourself for awhile now....and I want him to check you out to make sure nothing physically is going on with you. You have been complaining about your right ear and neck so maybe you have more than a clogged ear.....and you have looked so pale and zombie-like but that can also be the way you appear when you have been sensory overloaded for too long and eventually "zone out." I let you sleep in my bed last night as my room is much cooler than yours and well...you felt crappy.


The changes made at school have been working well for you so far. They have allowed a lot of sensory activities for you during recess time and you seem to really be enjoying that and do not miss going outside at recess with a bunch of other kids all the time at all you said! The first day they let you swing on the OT swing in the gym however you also SPUN around too much on it and for the first time you said you got dizzy and a headache and felt sick to your stomach. SO the next day I told you to NOT swing in circles so much but just back and forth.

The inclusive teacher walked you out yesterday to tell me at the end of the day while sitting on the carpet with the other kids waiting to be dismissed for the day (I have NO idea what carpet or even where this would be located as the classrooms do not have carpet that I am aware of ) there were a couple of girls making hand gestures and saying some saying out loud which you do NOT like. This really bothers you. I have been telling you to USE YOUR WORDS when something bothers you at school instead of reacting with a hit or shove..and you are really trying to do this. Yesterday you told the girls " Stop doing that it makes me angry!" to which another BOY responded by joining in and saying/doing the same thing which only made you angrier. The inclusive teacher came up and I think tried to talk you through this telling you that it was okay for someone else to sometimes do things you may not like......etc.....but she told me at the end of the day we needed to come up with a way to get you over this as you really did not like this stuff and it really bothered you a lot. This is the same thing that got you into trouble on the playground one day when you HIT someone over it instead of using your words.

SO on the way home I decided to drive you around. I got you something to eat. We parked for a bit. I asked about the movements the girls were doing and what they were saying.....and I tried to imitate it in the car. I tried to make up some silly stupid saying also ....and did it in front of you. I could see you "tense" up immediately and tell me to STOP IT and hold your hands over your ears. SO I asked HOW it made you feel inside.....and you told me angry.....tense...etc.

I decided to try to teach you to focus on something else....anything else other than these hand actions and verbal sayings. Over and over I would make those hand gestures and sayings. I told you any time they started this in school...the next time to close your eyes or focus on a specific spot in the classroom...AWAY from the action bothering you.....and start thinking about things you DO like. Count to 100.......think of toilets flushing.......think about playing a favorite game.....start singing a song you like inside your own head......take a trip inside your mind......

I would then start moving my hands and sing out some silly phrases to go along with the hand movement......slowly but surely you began to instinctively turn your head away from my actions.....close your eyes and focus on other things. I saw you clench your fists....I saw you counting on your hands. ....finally you just sat there and could close your eyes and do nothing but I know your mind was busy. At unannounced times I would suddenly stop and begin the process all over again. You would suddenly stop whatever you were doing and turn away, grow quiet and look elsewhere or close your eyes. You were in another world. Soon you were able to LAUGH when I did the movements and sayings with my hands. Soon you were laughing a lot and out loud......soon my hand movements and sayings did not bother you at all!

I told you that I bet the next time you saw and heard this at school it would no longer bother you.....that you would immediately remember what to do......as we set up a triggered positive response for you to have with this action. I will inform your teachers of this and have them test it out .....

I can see you being successful with this method......or you will try too hard to block out the visuals and sounds....that others may take notice and think it is all bothering you so much....that as the one boy did the other day...they may try to say things even LOUDER or move MORE to upset you more. I would hope the teacher would then step in to quiet them down but you never know. Sometimes what seems okay for them is "not" okay for you. I KNOW if YOU were the only one making movements with your hands over and over and saying a phrase over and over.....just by yourself....while waiting to be dismissed at the end of the day ...it would in all their eyes be a "NO NO" and not acceptable behavior at all. Somehow they do not see the double standard. I would get told of your "inappropriate" behavior. It would be considered a disruption.

This is where I get ticked off. Because of the so-called SOCIAL standards we have set up for all the boys and girls to follow in the public classrooms like playing a game of Simon Says........step outside the NORM without permission or with everyone else also stepping outside the norm.....and you are OUT. No 3 strikes either. Yet these girls are allowed to interact together over and over each day.....making movements within a group who is otherwise most likely sitting quietly....making sounds within the same group.......but if it were only you......it would be considered a "problem."

I hope you feel better Noah. I really do. I know I have had a hard time getting my own work done here at home lately. I am way behind again today. I don' t feel all that great myself. So maybe we are just in a slump.

I love you!

Mommy
XOXOX