Dear Noah...

It was sprinkling rain when I went to pick you up from school. As I came around the corner the principal came out to meet me. She wanted to call me earlier in the day but never had time. She knew she would see me coming to pick you up so she decided to wait and grab me aside then.

Apparently there was an "incident" today at lunch recess. Apparently another little boy from your class kicked your lunch bag up to the wall of the school building but then picked it up to set it on the wall so it would not "get run over." This is what you told me. The principal said you totally misread the situation and she never mentioned that the boy kicked your lunch bag....only that he picked it up and put it on the wall so it would not get run over. BY WHAT I have no clue. Neither did you when I asked. SO we have conflicting stories and since the principal is not outside on the playground when you are.......I pretty much imagine what you said happened happened. The kid probably did kick it aside and then picked it up and placed it on the wall. WHY you did not know and neither do I. The principal said he was actually trying to do a good thing......trying to HELP you......PROTECT your bag......but it is not like cars run up and down the playground and ALL THE OTHER kids' lunch bags were also sitting outside in line-up for when you went back inside class. WHY this child only picked out your lunch bag to MOVE is still unknown on my part.

SO.....you apparently thought this child was being mean......and then going to steal your lunch bag.....so you went up and tried to bite his arm......and then you did successfully pinch his arm. You did not draw blood or even break the skin. In fact it sounds like the attempt at biting was unsuccessful. BUT......you got called on for it....which you should have.........but I really hope the situation was clear to the teachers on the playground at the time and it sounds like the entire incident was very fuzzy. I do hope the old trend of you being the last one being seen doing anything and then you being the only one getting into trouble is not going to repeat itself all over again. You usually only react if provoked. I have seen the so-called MONITORS on the playground and I have to say they do not always do a great job in MONITORING what is actually going on all the time. You apologized to the boy.....he accepted your apology....all was fine.

You now will be spending your time with a DUTY MONITOR all the time when out on recess which is something I requested a long time ago. I requested that your parapro be with you at ALL TIMES.....even on playground/recess. I guess she has to have a lunch break and other times away too though I do not understand why she cannot be on the same schedule as you. Anyway.......someone now will be with you at all times and they are to watch you at all times to hopefully help redirect you and make sure you stay on track. NOT sure how effectively this can happen if they do not really know your situation.

I emailed the principal and homeroom teacher to let them know we did talk about it. We went over what was wrong with what you did and what you should have done or do the next time.

I will probably email the principal again asking why your parapro cannot be the one outside with you on recess. I don't know....maybe she has to help other kids besides you?

Anyway.........when the story came out today my stomach instinctively knotted up again like it used to every day when I picked you up from preschool because every day that is all we heard....about all the things you did "wrong." I am thankful you have made such tremendous progress and your parapro went on and on today when I picked you up about how great a mom I was and the staff always says Noah has the best mom and how great a job I have done working with you and how they wish all moms were like me. While that made me feel a bit better.......I realized I am only doing what a mom should do and we still have a lot of work ahead of us.

BUT they all reportedly love you....and are amazed at how bright you are.....such good eye contact (seems to be so important to neurotypicals).

Anyway......we will keep plugging away. For any moms out there with children newly diagnosed with autism......this is why the earlier you can begin working with your child the better. It is much easier to try to teach these things to your child as soon as possible because it can take YEARS for the child to master and understand them. You do not want to have to wait until they are almost a teenager to have them start learning these social skills. Then they could have an unfortunate incident where they instinctively act out or react inappropriately in a social situation and get themselves into a lot more trouble......because they are older and bigger.

Enough said. It is raining....very fall-like outside. I have candles lit throughout the house.......Opie is sleeping on the cushion beside me.......and you are playing in your room. You have already done your homework and had a snack.

And all is right in the world again.

I love you Noah...

mommy
XOXOXOX