Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Dear Noah....

When I picked you up on Friday you had apparently had a bad day. It was extremely hot and the school is not air conditioned and you do not handle the heat very well. You got upset easier about a few things...and had at least 2 semi-major "moments" (I don't like to say meltdowns anymore because they seem to be much smaller scaled episodes than they used to be). You got upset when your parapro was not in Social Studies class with you...and you let your demands known to EVERYONE........becoming very loud.....and stamping your feet around.....I think kicking at things....not a temper tantrum thing.....just kicking at the legs of the desks...etc. THEN at this moment in time this morning I no longer remember what happened after that......but you apparently told the teachers and everyone else in the class because you were talking SO LOUDLY....that you may as well move your paper clip to the BLACK ZONE because you could feel another episode coming on!

SINCE I picked you up from school on Friday......you have been a mess of attitude! AND SO LOUD! It is like you have been STUCK in over-stimulation mode for 3 days!

Monday the day at school was even hotter than Friday. I sent a larger bottle of water....(OH THAT is what the second thing was that happened at school....you wanted a drink of water on Friday and you had to wait for it for some reason....and that ticked you off). Anyway.....yesterday you handled it better.....and did very well......till you pinched Alex L. in the shoulder unprovoked......so you did have to move from the green to the yellow zone. NOW Alex L. is the typical troublemaker kid in most schools......we have all seen them in action and every school has at least 1 in every classroom. Alex L. will do things to kids including Noah for no reason all the time. I guess Noah decided to get him before he got Noah and the teachers really sometimes just turn their eyes the other way feeling Alex L. probably deserves some of it and they are actually a little pleased when they see him getting a taste of his own medicine!

BUT after I picked you up from school I noticed finally you were ZONING out.....you appeared very much like a walking zombie......somewhere else where I could not quite follow you. I kept asking you if you felt okay.....you were extremely quiet.....appeared very retrospective.......had a very DEEP look to the expression on your face and eyes. And as the norm for you......once passing the ZOMBIE ZONED out stage......your behavior improves. SO your behavior since has been very good......quiet...more calm and peaceful.

Since I had not seen that type of behavior out of you for SO LONG...it was a very difficult trying time for me this past weekend and a bit exhausting. I found it very difficult to tune out all the loud sounds you were making....and in all reality you were really just probably being a kid. BUT I do know repetitive sounds and extreme loud laughter and sounds in your bedroom calm you down....but it was like this time it was not working. You appeared to just become more wound up!

sigh........So anyway....we even got into raising our voices with each other at least twice.......and you hit me once.......threatened to rip your shirt in two during another episode where you did not agree with me on something......and last night when I was going to send you to bed a little earlier and you got upset about that you again stood there almost shaking and raised your hands like you wanted to hit me. I swung you around and told you to NEVER EVEN THINK about hitting me or anyone else ever again in any anger episodes you might have. HITTING especially in anger would only wind your butt in trouble...to remember to take your deep breaths and calm down FIRST and then talk about what upsets you. I told you if you could not continue to listen to me and at school....for each episode I caught you not listening to what I have told you to do....or at school.......you would start getting docked 15 minutes off your computer time at home. THAT seemed to get your attention......but not yet sure it will actually be a positive incentive for you to try even harder. I really believe and know you are changing and growing and all this is very difficult for you. I know your emotions are rushing around all over the place inside your brain and body. I know we MUST find new ways for you to cope......because it is apparent to me you are searching for new ways to cope because some of the old ways no longer work like they used to. You have outgrown them I suppose. NOT sure. BUT we must sit down together and think of a new way that would work for you......and re-instill the CALM DOWN book with you yet again....reminding you of what you SHOULD be doing when you get frustrated and upset in different situations. A review would also certainly not hurt Mommy.

So there......that was a mouthful but it is finally out of my brain. Okay.......not really but my subconscious does not know the difference between reality and faking it......so faking it will eventually become the reality.

You got your hair cut again yesterday....because SCHOOL PICTURE DAY is Wednesday.

This time I DID take pictures and here is one.....

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yes......you recorded/filmed the entire thing......

I love you Noah.......but we still have some work to do!



Drama Mama said...

I hear you, sister. Us too. I, too, stand proud behind our kids and their amazing progress.
I enjoyed the picture...look at how big and handsome he is!

Melinda said...

yes he has shot up a few inches in the past few months! I am not sure why she had him sitting in this booster seat in the adult chair. He sat well in the adult chair before without the booster seat.....which he was too big for and kept falling out of....haha...oh well. He did well regardless.

Mom/Grandma said...

Yes, he wouldn't need that booster seat, all she had to do was pump her chair up a little higher. Perhaps she forgot how she did it the last ime, since she has so much on her mind lately.

He looks very handsome. Hope he can get himself calmed down. You don't think it's the cat do you? It might make him a little more wound up by playing with the cat, and perhaps he's just a little jealous when you pay attention to the cat? You just never know what is going on in their minds.

I hope it all works out for the best for both of you. Love you both.

kristi said...

Sorry things have been a bit tough for you. We have MANY days like this.

Melinda said...

thanks Kristi.......Noah has less and less days like this now......so when they do happen......it is harder to handle but we make it through it okay! :)