Friday, November 03, 2006

Dear Noah:

wow. I have been sick all week so I have tried to stay away from you as much as least not being directly in your room and playing right beside you for long...etc. I have not felt like doing school or playing.....guess you have noticed but took it in an entirely different light. just came to me and said this" I need to see daddy...I wish daddy would come pick me up and fly me back out to Colorado." When I asked you why you said "cause I love daddy more than you (with a wicked finger pointing) and he gives me more company than you."

This crushed me. I know you do not understand why I have avoided being directly around you this week even though I have told you why. AND you are always the one telling me "no mommy....shut my door....I want privacy" and never want to come out and do anything with me.

Well bud that will change now. No more DAY-LONG privacy sessions for you. You can just get your buttocks out of your room and come out and do things with me whether you want to or not. You will have to play with me regardless of whether you want to or not.

I was afraid this would happen. Yeah...daddy has turned into a FUN person. The person you think you always can do FUN things with and have FUN with. WHY? Because you do not live with him and have REAL LIFE with him. You only see him on vacations and free days. SO when you are with him it is always about having a good time! Daddy does not have to work during that time. He is not sick during that time. He can devote his entire day to you!

I know you notice that. SO when you have to come back to me.........oh no. Reality sets in. It is not always fun here. Sometimes mommy is busy and has to work more so I can pay the bills and that means you have to do things on your own. Sometimes I get too busy with work and feel crappy and it slows me down and I am at it all day long. I cannot stand this but what am I to do?

Sometimes I am sick like now and can barely make it by the normal day let alone do extra special things with you. This week I have not been able to homeschool you because I have just been too sick.

You see it differently. I guess mommy is not fun...not much COMPANY. You are always going into your room and shutting your door. We live in the same house but separate. That has to stop. AND I guess it will start now ...tonight. I guess if you get sick you get sick.

i love you.......but you have really hurt me....even though I am sure you do not have a clue you did.

mommy :X

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