Friday, May 15, 2009
Dear Noah......getting you to do school lately has been very difficult!
Last night I decided to let you have a sleep over in my room....as today is trash day and since your bedroom faces out front the trash trucks can sometimes wake you up way too early.
I changed all our sheets yesterday....finally removing the winter flannel sheets and putting on nice cool summer cotton sheets instead. I also flipped our mattresses and washed the bedspreads.
So last night when you crawled into bed you said "the sheets smell like my daddy," and "I miss my daddy" and then "I really want my daddy."
I smelled the sheets and did not think they smelled like anyone in particular, but just fresh sheets.
However you could not fall asleep.....tossing and turning.....30 minutes later it was almost 11:30 p.m.....and you told me you could not fall asleep. You were busy thinking about your dad and wondering when he was going to come in for a visit.
I decided to grab the cell phone and just call him and let you talk to him real quick and tell him what you had been thinking about.
The first thing you said to him after he asked you what you were still doing awake was "WHEN are you going to come for a visit?" and then "Maybe you could come during the week of the fair in August"....."I thought maybe Father's Day too but that is too close for you to get the money to come."
I told your dad what you had said about the sheets and how you had been missing him and wanting to see him....etc. I have to say he seemed happy to hear it all but then also seemed to really be more formal with you and rush you off the phone. Maybe because he was at work or something..not sure as he has sometimes done this to you before though I am not sure he is aware of it. The comments he made back to you sounded almost rehearsed for anyone in the general public rather than his own son. I am not knocking him ...it is just what it all sounded like and it seemed so obviously plain and apparent to me last night listening to him talk to you on speaker phone.
Anyway.....I thought it was all very sweet and the fact that you are expressing your feelings so well is huge progress for you.
I love you......hope you sleep in this morning and the trash trucks don't wake you up!