Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Dear Noah: what if I am dead and cannot see my traffic lights or my body?

Yep..that is the question you asked me today. You were playing with your legos making them into traffic lights...and came running into the office with a worried look on your face asking "mommy....what if I am dead and cannot see my traffic lights anymore or my body...what would I do?"

I promptly told you "well maybe you would be too busy seeing other things you want to see...like Jesus or angels or other things...or who knows...maybe you COULD see your traffic lights and your body....traffic lights mean so much to you and that would be your perfect heaven now." I told you that nobody really knows for sure what happens to you after you die......and that you really did not need to worry about it as you were only 7 years old. BUT you would go on.

You asked me "but what if I get too old and cannot live anymore and die?" "what will I do then?" Again I said you did not really need to worry about it all that much right now as you were after all only 7 (thinking to myself I pray nothing ever happens to you before you do get old). I told you that you would live to be very very old and for a long time and you had a LONG way to go before ever having to worry about such things. You got a bit teary eyed......but seemed to calm down a bit.

The things you come up with to worry about. ALL ties in with your autism and sensory integration but even MORE so your generalized anxiety disorder...which to be honest I did not give much thought before. However, recently I have seen an increase in the number of things you truly WORRY about....are anxious about.....OVER the top anxious.

So.....we are working on calming techniques every day. Ways you can calm yourself down and CHILL out when you are stressing about things. This is actually a good thing for both of us!

i love you my little man......here's to a VERY LONG and prosperous BIG life you will have!

mommy :X

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