Dear Noah:

I finally met with the new attorney yesterday to handle your daddy's and my divorce. I felt pretty bad about having to drag you there.....as I know you are now old enough to HEAR things and form your own conclusions about things. I was very reassured by this new attorney as he was very knowledgeable in the law and made me feel what I already know I should feel...RIGHT FOR doing what I have done....leaving your daddy...for all the reasons I did...for being concerned etc.

However...it still makes my heart sad as you love him so much. I keep thinking and hoping things would be for real between your father's feelings towards you and not something put on or fake. Hard to tell at this point.

I will be thankful to get all this overwith and behind me. I so want to get our lives in order again. I so wish so many things.