Saturday, February 28, 2009

Just to clear some things up......about Noah being "afraid" of black people.....

I just wanted to explain this a bit further. I totally understand that Noah feels the way he does NOT for the same reasons we might all think......prejudice......etc. He does not even know what those things are let alone understand them.

At his level I think he explained it pretty well. He was scared of the kid's weird reminded him of a clown which also scares him.

The same for the kid's clothes.....they also reminded Noah of a clown.

He was uncomfortable around the boy being "black" ....because his skin was the color black.....and he acted like it "hurt his eyes" to physically have to look at it. There are many times (most times) Noah will NOT look me in the eyes directly...he acts like it physically HURTS him to have to do so. SO I do get that this could bother him in the same way.

That is totally an "autism" thing and I get that. I just wanted to try to explain to him how the general public would view his feelings....using this as a learning experience. I was the one who explained segregation and prejudice to him....all those things he had never heard about before. I explained to him that I understood WHY those things about the black boy on the Valentine card bothered him...but others would not be able to understand it and instead think he was prejudiced.

It is the same for Noah with someone's skin color as it is for different textures.....sounds.....lights.....noises. Some things Noah is drawn to and enjoys...other things rub against him real rough like sandpaper. He tends to avoid things that "grate" on his nerves and things he just cannot easily accept or cope with.

With Noah it actually has nothing to do with him being "against" blacks or "for" whites....he just in his mind needs to have things a certain way. When someone comes along that is is not always an easy transition to acceptance.

I think that is very much what is happening in this case with his saying he is "afraid" of being around black people.

Anyway.....Osh brought up a good point in her comment on my prior post about this....and she is exactly right. It is not really anything to do with Noah being prejudiced as much as it is he just has to have some things a certain way to make it easier for him to be in this world.


Betsy said...

I totally's an autism thing and not a prejudice thing at all!

TimsMomMom said...

Dear Noah,

I don't like clowns either!

Patty said...

Yes, I agree with Betsy. I'm also with TimsMomMom, I don't like clowns either. I wonder why people assume kids like them. I don't remember liking them as a child either. And growing up in a small white town, the first time I went to a larger town and saw a black person, it scared me to death. I can't remember my exact age. But it scared me. Although when I was a child, I was scared of everything. The dark, bugs especially spiders, flying insects, my Grandma's chickens, being alone, hobos, boogie men, tramps, the devil, but I think alot of that came from the fact, we were told if we didn't behave, a boogie man or some such thing, was going to get us. That was one thing I said I would never do to any of my own kids, was try to scare them like that to make them behave.

Hope you two are having a good Sunday. I think Melissa is starting to feel better. But my nose is tingling this afternoon, hope that's all it is.

Love you both.