Dear Noah.....a disagreement....

(Message reads..."Until you say you're sorry AND go to CiCi's pizza within 2 weeks, I'm not even going to talk to you till then. If the 2 weeks are up, I'm leaving...so goodbye mom...cause I know you won't go till then"

You have been in a very argumentative stage recently...probably due a lot to your tween years....you will be 13 in December. However...you seem to want to argue with your mother about a lot of things. Now sometimes you are correct....but regardless of who is right or wrong...I am trying to teach you...you don't argue with your mother...

Today we had thought about going to CiCi's pizza as a treat .....but before leaving you and I got into a disagreement....you started arguing with me again...and I said that was it....forget it...we would not go to CiCi's pizza. I was sick and tired of your attitude...thinking you knew everything and was always right about everything and this was clearly something I was right about...as it pertained to a setting on our computers....long story..but basically you got very upset.....you did apologize and start to cry..but I told you it would not matter anyway. You still did not deserve to go to CiCi's pizza today. I did not raise you to be disrespectful to me your mom...or your dad...or any of your elder relatives...etc. I told you your behavior would never get you anywhere in life with a parent, grandparent, future boss or girlfriend/wife. DEMANDING things and being argumentative was never a positive and usually you ended up with zip. AND the biggest lesson..there are always consequences for your actions and choices. Your consequence for being so disrespectful to me and then sending me this ultimatum message was not going to CiCi's pizza.

You tried to squeeze in how I am the WORLD'S BEST MOM...but, "YOU HAVE REALLY CRAPPY LECTURES!!" and you apparently hate them....and you started crying all over again. I am thankful you handle getting upset SOOOO much better than you used to. You have learned over time to keep yourself and emotions in pretty good check...to control any physicality and to USE YOUR WORDS to express how you are feeling and what your needs are. I praised you for that. I told you...you did the right thing by keeping it in check..and going to your computer to type out your anger to me in words....but....how your ultimatum and threats were not a good choice...and again how all this was just so disrespectful to me.

I know notes like this will come ...hopefully not often...but they are always hurtful..even from you at 12 years of age or maybe if you are 50. Wait..if you would be 50 I would be 90 and I doubt I would give a crap then..lol...NO ..I still would if I have my sanity intact. Words can be a positive or negative to anyone....we are to use our words to BUILD EACH OTHER UP...not tear each other down. I grew up in a verbally abusive ( and sometimes even physically abusive) time and I do my best to never subject you to a life like that.

BUT...after reading the note where you say you will leave.. I try to tell you a kid just up and leaving or trying to run away would be the worst thing you could ever do....there are perverts all over the world just waiting to get their hands on kids like you....to do all sorts of horrific things to...if not ending up and even murdering you. You say you would go to your dad. I ask you HOW...you said he would come pick you up. I then tell you we will call your dad...because your dad would have not only said the same things I did...he would have done the same thing.

We did call...your dad did say he would do the same thing...and that you had to learn there are consequences for your actions..and when you are being disrespectful, etc....you did not deserve a "treat"...

So all in all we talked more...oh sorry...LECTURED some more.....no we actually talked....I asked you if you understood everything and how you felt about things....and I wanted to hear your feelings and how you felt....and we went over everything again. AND finally got it all worked out...and no...we did not today....go to CiCi's pizza. That will be another day.....

I still love you...even if I have crappy lectures.

Mom
XOXOXO