Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Noah's first Occupational Therapy visit
Today we took Noah for his first occupational therapy visit. It went very very well and he loved it. I was going to take my camera and take some pictures of the neat rooms and some video clips but I was also afraid she might not want me to do that and I wanted to get permission first. Seems someone should take pictures as I have checked online for pediatric physical or occupational therapy clinic rooms and I could not really find any. NOT LIKE these rooms anyway. Amazing rooms. EXACTLY the way I would make it if we had a basement or extra room and I could whip up a room for Noah at home.It is all padded on the floor....with HUGE tire swings hanging from the ceiling and everything is padded or soft. Noah got to use a rolling scooter board thing to slide down a ramp into soft padded blocks that tumbled down on him. He got to hang swing from ropes and jump on a trampoline. They have climbing walls...big huge bouncy balls and bins you can jump into that are filled with balls. Of course they do fine motor skills too...and he got to play some really neat games using putty and pegs....We were really impressed and he is so excited about going back again! I will take pictures and video clips next time to post!
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Dear Noah:
Trying to find things you can eat from home has been tough. You always want something out from a restaurant. Last night at supper was a typical example. You wanted pizza.....but I said we were not ordering pizza...not from Dominos at least since we had a falling out the last time we tried placing an order! SO you bawled about that. Then you switched gears and started asking what things I could fix at home. I named off some. You said for me to fix MY CHICKEN and some crinkly french fries! WOW....this may be progress!
SO I made MY chicken and crinkly fries and you actually ate it! I think as you are getting older you are finding out you cannot be quite as picky and you are more willing now to branch out and try new things we already have here at home in the freezer, fridge or cupboards. WHICH IS GOOD...you cannot eat every meal out! Especially fast food! YUCK!
Otherwise....you also went to the restroom last night. You HAVE BEEN MAKING IT THERE IN PLENTY OF TIME which is GREAT! I come in to help you wipe however and there you are...perched on the seat like a little bird! FEET UP ON THE SEAT all hunched over! Like a bird on a perch! SO....I reminded you about sitting down on the seat. You tried it and said "I am trying to sit on the seat properly!" WOW..such big words you are using these days and your pronounciation is getting so much better!
SCHOOL officially starts for us again on Monday! I think you are excited. I know even Daddy is excited. Should be lots of fun. I DO need to hook up our new printer!
LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!
Mommy
SO I made MY chicken and crinkly fries and you actually ate it! I think as you are getting older you are finding out you cannot be quite as picky and you are more willing now to branch out and try new things we already have here at home in the freezer, fridge or cupboards. WHICH IS GOOD...you cannot eat every meal out! Especially fast food! YUCK!
Otherwise....you also went to the restroom last night. You HAVE BEEN MAKING IT THERE IN PLENTY OF TIME which is GREAT! I come in to help you wipe however and there you are...perched on the seat like a little bird! FEET UP ON THE SEAT all hunched over! Like a bird on a perch! SO....I reminded you about sitting down on the seat. You tried it and said "I am trying to sit on the seat properly!" WOW..such big words you are using these days and your pronounciation is getting so much better!
SCHOOL officially starts for us again on Monday! I think you are excited. I know even Daddy is excited. Should be lots of fun. I DO need to hook up our new printer!
LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!
Mommy
Dear Noah:
You and I both got fresh jugs of water to drink last night....filled with ice....and once in the room you said "let's make a toast!" SO we clinked our water jugs together and both drank and I said "to loving each other!"
You then said "That was a great toast!
"You are too sweet for words!
I LOVE YOU!
Mommy
You then said "That was a great toast!
"You are too sweet for words!
I LOVE YOU!
Mommy
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Noah's Speech Language Evaluation
It is funny. Noah is so smart and yet there are many concepts he cannot grasp. Today at the speech language pathologist office:
For example...when asked "how are apples grapes alike?" he would say "cause they both have stems" instead of something like "they are both fruits". While his answer is correct it obviously was not the more obvious answer she was looking for. He thinks of things differently than we do.
When asked "how are red and yellow alike?" he would answer "you mix red and yellow to get orange and they are both paints"...instead of "they are both colors". Again he is correct but she was looking for what makes the items alike.
When asked "what makes 1 and 5 alike?" he would say "if you add 1 and 5 you get 6". Not "they are both numbers".
When asked "how are shoes and socks alike?" he would say "cause you have to put your sock on before you can put on your shoe" instead of saying "they both go on your feet".
When asked "how is a cup and glass alike?" he would not say "because they are both something you drink out of".
When asked to describe what an ocean was he proceeded to name all 5 oceans in the world. She asked him again to describe them and he said "they were like big ponds."
When asked to give answers on some questions he was trying to find the answers in the therapist's book. She told him to go ahead and look as the answer was not there. However....little did she know...in a matter of 2 seconds he DID find the answer and she started laughing and said "wow you are just too smart!" Apparently her book had the letters of the correct answers and in a group of let's say 4 objects Noah would have to find the correct object the woman was giving the word of. Just by glancing in her book over her shoulder and reading what was there he saw the answers quickly.
BUT prior to that he got in his mind since there would only be ONE CORRECT answer that he needed to look for the object that was different from the others would probably be the correct answer! Amazing.....and correct most instances but sometimes not as let's say when she asked him to show her the picture of a "vine" there were several close examples like leaves, flowers, vine and tree branch. This was a bit more confusing to him then as the objects were all too similar. However, he knows what vines are as if she would have asked "what does Tarzan swing by?" he would quickly have answered "VINES!". hahahah.
Anyway.....he found the letter to the correct answer for that one question so the therapist had to hide her book after that. He is pretty sly when it comes to getting correct answers on things and figuring out things.
SO concepts and how things are alike are difficult for Noah to verbalize....but he can show you very quickly how things are the same visually and his sequencing is off the charts as is his memory. AND while he knows an apple and a banana are both fruits he cannot TELL you that is what makes them alike. He does not get that at all!
He still has problems with articulation and with "s", "sh", "f", "th", "ch", "r", "j", "l" and blends. So this places him in the moderate to severe delay range.
His language comprehension is average range. His fluency/voice is normal.
His language expression where he had to "organize his thoughts" and use syntax is in the moderate to severe delay range.
SO many of the things he had issues with 3 years ago when he was evaluated by this same speech language pathologist, he still has not made much improvement on. When asked to slow down and really be more definitive with his talking he does better. He can say his "s" very very well now without prompting but combining it with other letters like SH is hard for him. OR he will use S when he should be using a C.
The speech language pathologist understood 50-75% of what Noah said during conversation but it all depended on his articulation errors and speed he talked and how he will still add jargon in between when he does not know what words to insert to make a complete sentence. So odd as he can read very very well!
SO...he is scheduled to receive at least 20 individual therapy sessions. I have to make arrangements for that next. BUT that is a huge start and improvement when we originally were told he could receive NO speech therapy as he was over 5 years of age! SO we are thankful about this! She really feels he can sit long enough now to benefit from the therapy and we think he could too.
For example...when asked "how are apples grapes alike?" he would say "cause they both have stems" instead of something like "they are both fruits". While his answer is correct it obviously was not the more obvious answer she was looking for. He thinks of things differently than we do.
When asked "how are red and yellow alike?" he would answer "you mix red and yellow to get orange and they are both paints"...instead of "they are both colors". Again he is correct but she was looking for what makes the items alike.
When asked "what makes 1 and 5 alike?" he would say "if you add 1 and 5 you get 6". Not "they are both numbers".
When asked "how are shoes and socks alike?" he would say "cause you have to put your sock on before you can put on your shoe" instead of saying "they both go on your feet".
When asked "how is a cup and glass alike?" he would not say "because they are both something you drink out of".
When asked to describe what an ocean was he proceeded to name all 5 oceans in the world. She asked him again to describe them and he said "they were like big ponds."
When asked to give answers on some questions he was trying to find the answers in the therapist's book. She told him to go ahead and look as the answer was not there. However....little did she know...in a matter of 2 seconds he DID find the answer and she started laughing and said "wow you are just too smart!" Apparently her book had the letters of the correct answers and in a group of let's say 4 objects Noah would have to find the correct object the woman was giving the word of. Just by glancing in her book over her shoulder and reading what was there he saw the answers quickly.
BUT prior to that he got in his mind since there would only be ONE CORRECT answer that he needed to look for the object that was different from the others would probably be the correct answer! Amazing.....and correct most instances but sometimes not as let's say when she asked him to show her the picture of a "vine" there were several close examples like leaves, flowers, vine and tree branch. This was a bit more confusing to him then as the objects were all too similar. However, he knows what vines are as if she would have asked "what does Tarzan swing by?" he would quickly have answered "VINES!". hahahah.
Anyway.....he found the letter to the correct answer for that one question so the therapist had to hide her book after that. He is pretty sly when it comes to getting correct answers on things and figuring out things.
SO concepts and how things are alike are difficult for Noah to verbalize....but he can show you very quickly how things are the same visually and his sequencing is off the charts as is his memory. AND while he knows an apple and a banana are both fruits he cannot TELL you that is what makes them alike. He does not get that at all!
He still has problems with articulation and with "s", "sh", "f", "th", "ch", "r", "j", "l" and blends. So this places him in the moderate to severe delay range.
His language comprehension is average range. His fluency/voice is normal.
His language expression where he had to "organize his thoughts" and use syntax is in the moderate to severe delay range.
SO many of the things he had issues with 3 years ago when he was evaluated by this same speech language pathologist, he still has not made much improvement on. When asked to slow down and really be more definitive with his talking he does better. He can say his "s" very very well now without prompting but combining it with other letters like SH is hard for him. OR he will use S when he should be using a C.
The speech language pathologist understood 50-75% of what Noah said during conversation but it all depended on his articulation errors and speed he talked and how he will still add jargon in between when he does not know what words to insert to make a complete sentence. So odd as he can read very very well!
SO...he is scheduled to receive at least 20 individual therapy sessions. I have to make arrangements for that next. BUT that is a huge start and improvement when we originally were told he could receive NO speech therapy as he was over 5 years of age! SO we are thankful about this! She really feels he can sit long enough now to benefit from the therapy and we think he could too.
Sunday, August 21, 2005
How Sunday went
(Rather than retype all this I just copied and pasted this from my other blog....but this is how your Sunday went today Noah-YOU DID GREAT!!)
Sunday afternoon/early evening. We DID make it to church today with NOAH!!! It was an odd morning. I managed to get him to go without too much of an episode. We left for church. Once there Noah sat down IN HIS seat and had his hands IN HIS LAP and he sat like he was drugged. He did not move, he did not jump up and twirl around like he will sometimes. He did not complain that we had to move up one row from our usual spot as someone else was sitting in our usual seats today. He did NOT say ONE word while in church. It looked like we had drugged him (WHICH WE DID NOT). SO odd.....I kept looking over to see if he was okay. I kept feeling his head to make sure he had no fever! He just acted totally different from his usual self.
SO he sat well for church...came time to leave...he got up and QUIETLY left the sanctuary. Made a pit stop to the restroom with daddy and then back out to the lobby to me and out to the car. Then he wanted to see some new homes today so we drove out and checked out 6 new model homes. Again he was extremely well behaved and quiet. Talked only when spoken to or asked a question and when he did talk he really impressed people. The woman at the model home could not believe how much REALTOR lingo Noah knew and said he seemed so mature and knowledgeable for his age about houses and lots and what was sold and what was available and the type of homes, etc. We tried to tell her this was one of his favorite past-times, looking at model homes and designing homes, etc. We ALL enjoy it.
Then he got hungry. He wanted Wendys. So we stopped. He was quiet again. Ate some. Another little boy came in and started gathering up all the salt and pepper shakers down an entire row of tables. We are talking a grand total of 14! His mom just sat there with her head in her hands like she had a migraine. She was waiting on her mom and dad I think to come over with Frostys.Anyway...Noah just sat there watching this kid move over from table to table (getting closer to our table) and taking away all of the salt and pepper shakers. I KNEW this was really upsetting Noah. Noah had already gathered the 6 shakers from our 3 tables and had them in front of HIM. Something about stacking these shakers that kids seem to like. We don't let Noah normally PLAY with the shakers and would never let him take 14 like this other kid did. SO NOah knows this is wrong. But he sat there...and you could tell it bothered him more and more and more. He looked at me and I explained to him that sometimes little kids don't always do what is right and how he knew that stacking 14 shakers was wrong and that he should set a good example and show the little kid what was the RIGHT thing to do and how to behave.
I was amazed Noah sat there. Silently watching....but you could tell it really bothered him. I was afraid he would lose it over this. BUT he seemed to be pretty calm and collected and my FEW words I said seemed to help somewhat. BUT he would not take his eyes off this kid. Keith said he acted like he was in a trance all day and he has. In the past when an issue like this would come up Noah WOULD LOSE IT. He would probably have pointed to the kid and screamed "STOP IT" and start crying...etc. OR go and grab the shakers back and put the correct 2 shakers per table. See Noah will even go around to tables in Wendys or Burger King and clean them up if they need it. He will straighten the shakers and put the chairs under the tables correctly and throw trash away..etc. He went through a spell where he was almost obsessed about this. FINALLY we told him he could only do a few tables right beside us and now most of the time he can get by without doing too many if any at all. Once in Arbys he went around and made sure all their napkin dispensers were set right in the middle of each table. Not too far left or too far right. JUST CENTERED. He was very particular!
SO today...he is watching this little boy. AND it finally happened. The boy had stacked 7 salt shakers high and 7 pepper shakers high and his mom was still sitting there with her head in her hands not really watching him. Noah just turned and looked at me and he then scrunched down in his seat and started crying...VERY VERY LOUD!!!!!!! No screaming and no pointing or yelling at the other kid or grabbing any shakers back..etc. I just held his head and quietly said to him " shhhh...quiet...listen to me." "You still have all 6 shakers here in front of you." "He did not come and get YOUR shakers." "You are fine....he should not be doing that with the shakers anyway and you know that." "It is fine....you still have 6 here in front of you."What would in the past have been a long-lived episode was thankfully pretty short lived. He cried oh maybe 3 minutes if that. About 3-5 loud loud cries and sobbing and he was done. He sat up and wiped his eyes. He kept watching this boy. Finally Noah then stacked his 3 salt shakers and his 3 pepper shakers and laughed. He would look at the other little boy and then laugh while they took turns at their own tables stacking the shakers.
BUT this is a good example of what I mean when I say you never quite know what to expect when around Noah or what MIGHT set him off. There is never any rhyme or reason though we can usually see them coming and can sometimes stop them before he explodes or totally loses it. Many times he will just start crying out loud like today and you have NO idea what happened to set him off and you think he has hurt himself by the way he sounds. I am really trying hard to teach him to stop himself before allowing himself to get too carried away like he would have done in the past.
SO we leave Wendys after we eat. Stop at Super Target. He again acted like he was drugged. VERY well behaved but like a zombie. Finally he had no more energy to even walk. Wanted Daddy to carry him. We got a second cart and Daddy let him ride inside the cart. It still worries me that he becomes so fatigued like that over nothing! Unless he got overwhelmed because of church this morning but he was alway drugged-like before church even started.
We are back home now. As soon as Noah got his shoes and orthotics off...he ran down the hall and acted like his usual self again. I keep asking if he feels okay. He does not look like he does but he says he is fine. Anyway....that was how our morning and afternoon went. I am now baking him a batch of chocolate chip cookies.
Tonight the last episode of The 4400 is on. Something about that show is interesting to me so I will watch it. THEN it won't be on again till next summer. I spent over 100.00 on groceries from Super Target. Oh well. It was my turn to buy so we stocked up. AND I am even going to make some Party Mix tonight since my sister was talking about making some it made me and Noah hungry for a batch. I am only going to put whole cashews in mine! YUMMMY!SIGHING.....Noah is waiting on cookies.
Keith left to meet his son for "a yet changed again" dinner date. Yes his son called again to change plans AGAIN! I guess he figured he wanted dinner after his roller blade hockey game and not just coffee and pie or cake. Noah and I are staying home. He has apparently had too much for him today and needs to take a break. If I were Keith.......but I am not. I am home however which is best for me if I think I may say something I shouldn't.
Well...cookies are ready to come out. AND I need to get the party mix in the cooled down oven!
I LOVE YOU NOAH!!
Sunday afternoon/early evening. We DID make it to church today with NOAH!!! It was an odd morning. I managed to get him to go without too much of an episode. We left for church. Once there Noah sat down IN HIS seat and had his hands IN HIS LAP and he sat like he was drugged. He did not move, he did not jump up and twirl around like he will sometimes. He did not complain that we had to move up one row from our usual spot as someone else was sitting in our usual seats today. He did NOT say ONE word while in church. It looked like we had drugged him (WHICH WE DID NOT). SO odd.....I kept looking over to see if he was okay. I kept feeling his head to make sure he had no fever! He just acted totally different from his usual self.
SO he sat well for church...came time to leave...he got up and QUIETLY left the sanctuary. Made a pit stop to the restroom with daddy and then back out to the lobby to me and out to the car. Then he wanted to see some new homes today so we drove out and checked out 6 new model homes. Again he was extremely well behaved and quiet. Talked only when spoken to or asked a question and when he did talk he really impressed people. The woman at the model home could not believe how much REALTOR lingo Noah knew and said he seemed so mature and knowledgeable for his age about houses and lots and what was sold and what was available and the type of homes, etc. We tried to tell her this was one of his favorite past-times, looking at model homes and designing homes, etc. We ALL enjoy it.
Then he got hungry. He wanted Wendys. So we stopped. He was quiet again. Ate some. Another little boy came in and started gathering up all the salt and pepper shakers down an entire row of tables. We are talking a grand total of 14! His mom just sat there with her head in her hands like she had a migraine. She was waiting on her mom and dad I think to come over with Frostys.Anyway...Noah just sat there watching this kid move over from table to table (getting closer to our table) and taking away all of the salt and pepper shakers. I KNEW this was really upsetting Noah. Noah had already gathered the 6 shakers from our 3 tables and had them in front of HIM. Something about stacking these shakers that kids seem to like. We don't let Noah normally PLAY with the shakers and would never let him take 14 like this other kid did. SO NOah knows this is wrong. But he sat there...and you could tell it bothered him more and more and more. He looked at me and I explained to him that sometimes little kids don't always do what is right and how he knew that stacking 14 shakers was wrong and that he should set a good example and show the little kid what was the RIGHT thing to do and how to behave.
I was amazed Noah sat there. Silently watching....but you could tell it really bothered him. I was afraid he would lose it over this. BUT he seemed to be pretty calm and collected and my FEW words I said seemed to help somewhat. BUT he would not take his eyes off this kid. Keith said he acted like he was in a trance all day and he has. In the past when an issue like this would come up Noah WOULD LOSE IT. He would probably have pointed to the kid and screamed "STOP IT" and start crying...etc. OR go and grab the shakers back and put the correct 2 shakers per table. See Noah will even go around to tables in Wendys or Burger King and clean them up if they need it. He will straighten the shakers and put the chairs under the tables correctly and throw trash away..etc. He went through a spell where he was almost obsessed about this. FINALLY we told him he could only do a few tables right beside us and now most of the time he can get by without doing too many if any at all. Once in Arbys he went around and made sure all their napkin dispensers were set right in the middle of each table. Not too far left or too far right. JUST CENTERED. He was very particular!
SO today...he is watching this little boy. AND it finally happened. The boy had stacked 7 salt shakers high and 7 pepper shakers high and his mom was still sitting there with her head in her hands not really watching him. Noah just turned and looked at me and he then scrunched down in his seat and started crying...VERY VERY LOUD!!!!!!! No screaming and no pointing or yelling at the other kid or grabbing any shakers back..etc. I just held his head and quietly said to him " shhhh...quiet...listen to me." "You still have all 6 shakers here in front of you." "He did not come and get YOUR shakers." "You are fine....he should not be doing that with the shakers anyway and you know that." "It is fine....you still have 6 here in front of you."What would in the past have been a long-lived episode was thankfully pretty short lived. He cried oh maybe 3 minutes if that. About 3-5 loud loud cries and sobbing and he was done. He sat up and wiped his eyes. He kept watching this boy. Finally Noah then stacked his 3 salt shakers and his 3 pepper shakers and laughed. He would look at the other little boy and then laugh while they took turns at their own tables stacking the shakers.
BUT this is a good example of what I mean when I say you never quite know what to expect when around Noah or what MIGHT set him off. There is never any rhyme or reason though we can usually see them coming and can sometimes stop them before he explodes or totally loses it. Many times he will just start crying out loud like today and you have NO idea what happened to set him off and you think he has hurt himself by the way he sounds. I am really trying hard to teach him to stop himself before allowing himself to get too carried away like he would have done in the past.
SO we leave Wendys after we eat. Stop at Super Target. He again acted like he was drugged. VERY well behaved but like a zombie. Finally he had no more energy to even walk. Wanted Daddy to carry him. We got a second cart and Daddy let him ride inside the cart. It still worries me that he becomes so fatigued like that over nothing! Unless he got overwhelmed because of church this morning but he was alway drugged-like before church even started.
We are back home now. As soon as Noah got his shoes and orthotics off...he ran down the hall and acted like his usual self again. I keep asking if he feels okay. He does not look like he does but he says he is fine. Anyway....that was how our morning and afternoon went. I am now baking him a batch of chocolate chip cookies.
Tonight the last episode of The 4400 is on. Something about that show is interesting to me so I will watch it. THEN it won't be on again till next summer. I spent over 100.00 on groceries from Super Target. Oh well. It was my turn to buy so we stocked up. AND I am even going to make some Party Mix tonight since my sister was talking about making some it made me and Noah hungry for a batch. I am only going to put whole cashews in mine! YUMMMY!SIGHING.....Noah is waiting on cookies.
Keith left to meet his son for "a yet changed again" dinner date. Yes his son called again to change plans AGAIN! I guess he figured he wanted dinner after his roller blade hockey game and not just coffee and pie or cake. Noah and I are staying home. He has apparently had too much for him today and needs to take a break. If I were Keith.......but I am not. I am home however which is best for me if I think I may say something I shouldn't.
Well...cookies are ready to come out. AND I need to get the party mix in the cooled down oven!
I LOVE YOU NOAH!!
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Dear Noah (what you said to me last night)
We laid down in bed to read some Bible stories....our usual routine. AND then you proceeded to tell me how we should have a bed of crosses. I said "What?" You said "a bed of dying crosses." You said, "Jesus laid down and died on the cross so we need a bed of crosses so we can lay down on the cross and die too."
I think I was too dumbfounded to speak so I lay there.
I thought some more. I said "well yes when you become a Christian the person you used to be does die or change and you will never be the same again." I also said "but you don't actually have to physically die on a cross to do that."
You then said "well a bed with pretend crosses not real ones, so we could lay down on them and go to sleep."
THEN you said "I am going to die this year in 2005 so I can be 6 forever!" (like you were all excited and knew something perhaps I did not). This of course tends to freak me out when you say things like this as you have before
I said "WHAT?????" (in alarm). You said "yeah, if I die now I would be 6 forever!!" (all excited). You said "I would go into the tomb (yes you said that) and rise up again like Jesus and I would go to Heaven and I would be like Jesus and live forever!"
I said " well you know you don't have to die NOW" , "if you died now mommy and daddy would miss you so much and we would not get to see you and you would not get to see us!" "You don't have to do something like that now!"
You then said "well I guess I could do that when I am older"; "like maybe 30 years old?"
AND I said "yes, it is something you can always do when you get older."
Then this morning you come out again and start in about having a "bed of dying crosses" so we could all go to bed and lay down on them at night and go to sleep and they would automatically be raised up!" I then proceeded to tell you Jesus just did not just "lay down on a cross and go to sleep", but that he suffered for a very long time and was in pain and misery while on that cross.
You just laid there and listened and smiled. You loves Jesus and the Bible and all those stories so much and just can't seem to get enough of them! You have this innate ability to just KNOW the stories and what happened and can relate and recite most so well when asked! It amazes me. I mean we do read Bible studies here at home and I read to you from your 2 Bibles every night and even during the day sometimes. We also have other Bible stories we work on....but you are most fascinated and obsessed with Jesus (which is fine with me). BUT almost to the extreme (which is part of your autism I am sure). SO you are wanting to be like Jesus (which is fine also but I mean you want to even die on a cross like Jesus did). I don't think you totally understand the concept of death yet and all that it entails! I know you do not.
**Another time at night when we were talking about death and how some children's parents on a movie we had watched had died and they said in the movie had gone to heaven, Noah started crying cause he was not in Heaven and he wondered "what about me??" He was bawling like crazy.
"What can I do to go to Heaven he asked me??" I then proceeded to tell him what the Bible says about that. Of course again he wanted to go RIGHT THEN!
So while he can explain characters from the Bible and who they were and what they did and what happened to them....he still cannot grasp "concepts" of things like "why", "death", "sleeping", "what is real and what is not", etc.
You live with no fear however which I guess should be the way we all should live. You are not afraid of death or dying though I don't think you totally understand it all. But then again perhaps you understand it better than we do?? You are probably to young yet to be too attached to things of this world including your own mommy and daddy. AND being autistic you always have a bit of aloofness about you even with us. It does not really bother you much to NOT be around us at times (most times!). So in your mind there is nothing you would be "giving up" to go to Heaven and live forever. In your mind you would "be gaining everything" by doing that and you would be happy, etc.
**I suppose that is how we should all feel if we are indeed a Christian! Ready to give anything and all up for Him to be and live with Him forever, whenever. It is not something that should make us sad but like Noah we should be happy about it when that time comes. Noah showed no signs of being in any distress at the thought (though he perhaps does not fully grasp what dying and leaving us would mean). Or maybe he does?
I think I was too dumbfounded to speak so I lay there.
I thought some more. I said "well yes when you become a Christian the person you used to be does die or change and you will never be the same again." I also said "but you don't actually have to physically die on a cross to do that."
You then said "well a bed with pretend crosses not real ones, so we could lay down on them and go to sleep."
THEN you said "I am going to die this year in 2005 so I can be 6 forever!" (like you were all excited and knew something perhaps I did not). This of course tends to freak me out when you say things like this as you have before
I said "WHAT?????" (in alarm). You said "yeah, if I die now I would be 6 forever!!" (all excited). You said "I would go into the tomb (yes you said that) and rise up again like Jesus and I would go to Heaven and I would be like Jesus and live forever!"
I said " well you know you don't have to die NOW" , "if you died now mommy and daddy would miss you so much and we would not get to see you and you would not get to see us!" "You don't have to do something like that now!"
You then said "well I guess I could do that when I am older"; "like maybe 30 years old?"
AND I said "yes, it is something you can always do when you get older."
Then this morning you come out again and start in about having a "bed of dying crosses" so we could all go to bed and lay down on them at night and go to sleep and they would automatically be raised up!" I then proceeded to tell you Jesus just did not just "lay down on a cross and go to sleep", but that he suffered for a very long time and was in pain and misery while on that cross.
You just laid there and listened and smiled. You loves Jesus and the Bible and all those stories so much and just can't seem to get enough of them! You have this innate ability to just KNOW the stories and what happened and can relate and recite most so well when asked! It amazes me. I mean we do read Bible studies here at home and I read to you from your 2 Bibles every night and even during the day sometimes. We also have other Bible stories we work on....but you are most fascinated and obsessed with Jesus (which is fine with me). BUT almost to the extreme (which is part of your autism I am sure). SO you are wanting to be like Jesus (which is fine also but I mean you want to even die on a cross like Jesus did). I don't think you totally understand the concept of death yet and all that it entails! I know you do not.
**Another time at night when we were talking about death and how some children's parents on a movie we had watched had died and they said in the movie had gone to heaven, Noah started crying cause he was not in Heaven and he wondered "what about me??" He was bawling like crazy.
"What can I do to go to Heaven he asked me??" I then proceeded to tell him what the Bible says about that. Of course again he wanted to go RIGHT THEN!
So while he can explain characters from the Bible and who they were and what they did and what happened to them....he still cannot grasp "concepts" of things like "why", "death", "sleeping", "what is real and what is not", etc.
You live with no fear however which I guess should be the way we all should live. You are not afraid of death or dying though I don't think you totally understand it all. But then again perhaps you understand it better than we do?? You are probably to young yet to be too attached to things of this world including your own mommy and daddy. AND being autistic you always have a bit of aloofness about you even with us. It does not really bother you much to NOT be around us at times (most times!). So in your mind there is nothing you would be "giving up" to go to Heaven and live forever. In your mind you would "be gaining everything" by doing that and you would be happy, etc.
**I suppose that is how we should all feel if we are indeed a Christian! Ready to give anything and all up for Him to be and live with Him forever, whenever. It is not something that should make us sad but like Noah we should be happy about it when that time comes. Noah showed no signs of being in any distress at the thought (though he perhaps does not fully grasp what dying and leaving us would mean). Or maybe he does?
Thursday, August 18, 2005
I am on leave of absence from work!
AND it has been great. I am off work officially till November 14th. FINALLY time to rest, recover, be an advocate full time for Noah, get things done around the house, just do all the things (MAINLY for Noah) that I have just not had time to do. Setting up all his therapies after all his evaluations can take immense time. AND doing the therapies here at home. Trying to find FUNDING for his therapies that our insurance will not cover is exhausting. Getting all the paperwork together and copied and printed off and in order and sent is time consuming. Working with him all the time on little things over and over and over and over and over till it is just so exhausting as he just doesn't always "get it".
SO...I put in for FMLA (family medical leave) and got it. I knew I would as my own doctor told me months ago I should take off work for awhile. SO.....it has been so odd not having tapes sitting around just waiting for me to work on or constantly reminding me they needed completed. WHAT A NEW concept for me to get up but then be able to lay back down and SLEEP IN! Today I slept in till 8:45 a.m.! THE LONGEST IN YEARS I have been able to do that! TO KNOW I do NOT have ANY WORK WORK to do has been so WELCOME!!! I can take time to read. Watch a movie. JUST REST!
AND it could not have come at a better time. Noah has regressed a bit in some areas so we will really have to work hard on those areas to bring him back up to where he had been. For example just getting him dressed every morning is a chore. AND having him brush his teeth or hair. Having him bath at least 1-2 times per week is another huge episode. AND now for some reason he is not wanting to POOP in the toilet again. He tries to hold it and hold it...saying he only wants to pee in the toilet. I have explained how the body works and he knows what he should do. However, getting him to do it and then consistently is a chore! NOW he does not completely soil his pants....but today it was a larger mess than it has been in a long long time. WHEN asked WHY (a concept he does not grasp at all)...he said he did not know. He cannot explain it other than to tell me he wants to keep playing his video games and record with his camera and apparently NOT stop!
SO....we worked on this today. When he soiled himself we got him cleaned up and then I said it was BATH TIME. He reluctantly cried but went in and we got that done...and his hair washed and trimmed afterwards and his toe nails trimmed. ALL chores as he has phobias or uneasiness around the hair dryer, toe nail trimmers, and apparently WATER now! We got that done and I told him we needed to make a "social story" ....about what he should do next time he was playing but had to go to the bathroom to "poop". I gave him a pad of art paper and some stickers and pencils and told him we needed to put down on the pad what he should do next time and then all the time. We found a picture of a computer and drew an arrow to the word POOP and then another arrow to a starting flag like they use on car races...(WHICH MEANS GO) and then an arrow to a toilet. He seemed to grasp all this pretty well and we went over it several times. We then hung it in his room by his computer.
(He just called out and said he made it in time. YEAH! He went to the bathroom and actually WENT IN the toilet!!)
AND Noah does not SIT on a toilet like most do. He PERCHES on it with his feet on the seat like a little bird. I am not sure WHY he does this but I have told him and told him to SIT DOWN on the seat and not PERCH. He could fall or his feet end up in the toilet. What a nightmare that could be especially if his feet got stuck! He only does this at home thank goodness but still! Yesterday we all went to the grocery store. While in the dairy section and getting Noah some Pillsbury chocolate chip cookies he went to the end of the aisle and looked in the reflective part of the shelf and SPIT! Keith and I just looked at each other in disbelief! We have never seen him do that before. We have heard from former teachers that he will spit and while we have seen him spit on occasion here at home we have never seen him do it in public or around other people. Here was a man at Safeway stocking the shelves and my little angel boy putting his mouth as close to the mirror reflection of him as he could get and SPITTING! Keith proceeded to get out his hankerchief (sp?) and wipe it off right away. Thank goodness the stock clerk did not see it. AND when asked WHY he did it Noah could not offer any explanation. He just does not understand WHY at all. Sometimes when he is scolded he will laugh or smile. He does not realize those are times you are to be sad or serious. ALL parts of autistic spectrum disorder and all things he will magically have to learn to be socially acceptable in our world!
I mean he also likes to go up and smell people. NOW he has to learn he just cannot go up and smell people! SO difficult to explain to someone who does not understand WHY he cannot or should not do something. AND while he cannot grasp simple social cues and skills this is a child who can design homes on our computer! He can figure out any computer software program there is. We do not have to offer any instructions. This is a child who can read very very well and loves it. This is a child with a great memory. OFF the charts memory! AND yet he cannot grasp social things like this at all. Constant repetition and directing and prompts. Every day...all throughout the day....over and over and over again.
AND on top of this is his not wanting to go anywhere or be around other people. I am hoping he is slowly getting over this a bit at least. He says it is too loud or too many people and too noisy and it really hurts his ears and bothers him. MANY times when he used to want to go places all the time...now he will say he wants to stay home. IF we can coax him in the car to go along...many times we then cannot get him OUT of the car to actually make it into a store. So...the time off right now...to try to rebuild and structure a routine for him will be good. AND home schooling is just around the corner!
SO...I put in for FMLA (family medical leave) and got it. I knew I would as my own doctor told me months ago I should take off work for awhile. SO.....it has been so odd not having tapes sitting around just waiting for me to work on or constantly reminding me they needed completed. WHAT A NEW concept for me to get up but then be able to lay back down and SLEEP IN! Today I slept in till 8:45 a.m.! THE LONGEST IN YEARS I have been able to do that! TO KNOW I do NOT have ANY WORK WORK to do has been so WELCOME!!! I can take time to read. Watch a movie. JUST REST!
AND it could not have come at a better time. Noah has regressed a bit in some areas so we will really have to work hard on those areas to bring him back up to where he had been. For example just getting him dressed every morning is a chore. AND having him brush his teeth or hair. Having him bath at least 1-2 times per week is another huge episode. AND now for some reason he is not wanting to POOP in the toilet again. He tries to hold it and hold it...saying he only wants to pee in the toilet. I have explained how the body works and he knows what he should do. However, getting him to do it and then consistently is a chore! NOW he does not completely soil his pants....but today it was a larger mess than it has been in a long long time. WHEN asked WHY (a concept he does not grasp at all)...he said he did not know. He cannot explain it other than to tell me he wants to keep playing his video games and record with his camera and apparently NOT stop!
SO....we worked on this today. When he soiled himself we got him cleaned up and then I said it was BATH TIME. He reluctantly cried but went in and we got that done...and his hair washed and trimmed afterwards and his toe nails trimmed. ALL chores as he has phobias or uneasiness around the hair dryer, toe nail trimmers, and apparently WATER now! We got that done and I told him we needed to make a "social story" ....about what he should do next time he was playing but had to go to the bathroom to "poop". I gave him a pad of art paper and some stickers and pencils and told him we needed to put down on the pad what he should do next time and then all the time. We found a picture of a computer and drew an arrow to the word POOP and then another arrow to a starting flag like they use on car races...(WHICH MEANS GO) and then an arrow to a toilet. He seemed to grasp all this pretty well and we went over it several times. We then hung it in his room by his computer.
(He just called out and said he made it in time. YEAH! He went to the bathroom and actually WENT IN the toilet!!)
AND Noah does not SIT on a toilet like most do. He PERCHES on it with his feet on the seat like a little bird. I am not sure WHY he does this but I have told him and told him to SIT DOWN on the seat and not PERCH. He could fall or his feet end up in the toilet. What a nightmare that could be especially if his feet got stuck! He only does this at home thank goodness but still! Yesterday we all went to the grocery store. While in the dairy section and getting Noah some Pillsbury chocolate chip cookies he went to the end of the aisle and looked in the reflective part of the shelf and SPIT! Keith and I just looked at each other in disbelief! We have never seen him do that before. We have heard from former teachers that he will spit and while we have seen him spit on occasion here at home we have never seen him do it in public or around other people. Here was a man at Safeway stocking the shelves and my little angel boy putting his mouth as close to the mirror reflection of him as he could get and SPITTING! Keith proceeded to get out his hankerchief (sp?) and wipe it off right away. Thank goodness the stock clerk did not see it. AND when asked WHY he did it Noah could not offer any explanation. He just does not understand WHY at all. Sometimes when he is scolded he will laugh or smile. He does not realize those are times you are to be sad or serious. ALL parts of autistic spectrum disorder and all things he will magically have to learn to be socially acceptable in our world!
I mean he also likes to go up and smell people. NOW he has to learn he just cannot go up and smell people! SO difficult to explain to someone who does not understand WHY he cannot or should not do something. AND while he cannot grasp simple social cues and skills this is a child who can design homes on our computer! He can figure out any computer software program there is. We do not have to offer any instructions. This is a child who can read very very well and loves it. This is a child with a great memory. OFF the charts memory! AND yet he cannot grasp social things like this at all. Constant repetition and directing and prompts. Every day...all throughout the day....over and over and over again.
AND on top of this is his not wanting to go anywhere or be around other people. I am hoping he is slowly getting over this a bit at least. He says it is too loud or too many people and too noisy and it really hurts his ears and bothers him. MANY times when he used to want to go places all the time...now he will say he wants to stay home. IF we can coax him in the car to go along...many times we then cannot get him OUT of the car to actually make it into a store. So...the time off right now...to try to rebuild and structure a routine for him will be good. AND home schooling is just around the corner!
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Dear Noah:
Also...not sure what is going on with you...but you are going through a THROWING stage. EVERYTHING you want to pick up and throw or toss into the air and FILM it with the camera. OR KNOCK things over and film it. THEN when you get into trouble you FILM that and when you replay it and watch it you almost laugh! This is where more social skills would really help you out! Meanwhile, sounds, noises, tossing things into the air, jumping on the bed or pillows and falling down endlessly till your face turns red, filming filming and more filming, makes up most of your days! I LOVE YOU!
Dear Noah:
Well....you have decided you wanted to start school again today. You said you changed your mind...and did not want to wait till August 29th. So we will do some today and see how it goes. You also said you were wanting more friends.....always makes me sad to hear that as there is really no one around here for you to play with. We will have to work on that. Well I have to get some things done and get your school stuff ready. More in a bit.
Monday, August 15, 2005
Dear Noah:
So......now it bothers you when we give you kisses. Well...you will give them and let us give them back to you..but you immediately proceed to WIPE THEM OFF! ONLY DRY kisses will do now..and even then you still wipe them off. Same with hugs. You will let us give them to you but are always kind of trying to pull away at the same time. You will let me hold you still but not for very long. You do still like to snuggle together in bed at night and cannot sleep alone. I cannot make new paragraphs in my posts for some reason so they will end up being very very long!
Now I can. Funny...I had to change to HTML mode. Probably will mess something up for good now.
Otherwise...things are going okay. You went with us to the sculpture show Saturday. You wore your orthotics all day long (at least 8 hours). We did a lot Saturday. BUT the day was a bit overwhelming to your senses so you basically have been recuperating for 2 days now.
You have been making up songs on your piano keyboard. SO amazing.
I will post more later. Much to write about, do and think about.
I LOVE YOU!
Mommy
Now I can. Funny...I had to change to HTML mode. Probably will mess something up for good now.
Otherwise...things are going okay. You went with us to the sculpture show Saturday. You wore your orthotics all day long (at least 8 hours). We did a lot Saturday. BUT the day was a bit overwhelming to your senses so you basically have been recuperating for 2 days now.
You have been making up songs on your piano keyboard. SO amazing.
I will post more later. Much to write about, do and think about.
I LOVE YOU!
Mommy
Sunday, August 14, 2005
So. You went to the Loveland sculpture show yesterday and walked around all morning in your new orthotics. THEN we left there and went to a park and you played. First time you have even wanted to go to a park. Then we left and went to Fazolis for lunch. Left there and drove the rest of the way back home and to another park for you to play. STILL with orthotics on! Then to Target. BACK HOME. Got the breakdown of the billing charges for the orthotics today. WOW. I figured altogether they would cost maybe a couple of hundred dollars. TRY all together including the fitting, almost $2000.00!!!!!! We were told our insurance covered them. They do. To a point. I think we will have to pay a couple of hundred dollars. WHICH IS better than the $2000.00 I guess. Just amazing how expensive things can be I guess. Alarm battery replaced. All is well. ALL working well. No fire thank the Lord!
Dear Noah:
Our bedroom smoke alarm just went off for some reason. I don't think it went off in the normal way...but also not like it would if the batteries were down...so not sure what is happening. I said there could be something going on in our attic and we would have to watch this and pay attention. You said: "Well we have not had time to pack up our stuff yet". I told you that in a real emergency you do not always have time to pack up your stuff. MANY times you just have to grab what you can IF you can and GO! I told you we needed to get dressed as we are still lounging around in our pjs. Which makes you think of all sorts of scenarios then huh? About "WHAT" would you grab if you had to? OR COULD? I have one bag packed up with some basic stuff but nothing personal. Just mostly paperwork to help us in case of an emergency. No photos or negatives or things like that. No collectibles..etc. I mean you can't pack up your entire house! So....I did not have the ladder handy but took my broom handle and hit the smoke alarm. I know I know...BAD IDEA...but I had to get the alarm to go off. No smoke. Nothing I could see in the attic. Maybe it is just the battery. I will have Keith check it in a bit. More later..
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Dear Noah:
Tough few days. I think I have been saying that. BUT you have had them. I don't think anyone has any idea about how picky you are about your food. AND then how you can get stuck in a craze about something for a long period of time. For example, you went through a period where you would only eat the frozen chicken nuggets from the store. HAD to be Banquet and NO OTHER kind! YOU would eat any chicken nugget from any restaurant. NOW you ONLY want Burger King nuggets though you will eat them from KFC, Wendy's or Chick-Fil-A. Sometimes from a restaurant and sometimes not. You used to eat them from Applebees and now NOT. SO odd. BUT I try to get you to eat MY chicken nuggets/strips and you used to but now you won't. Yesterday I made chicken and you tried it. Said "mmmmmmmmm" , "this is good" and then brought your plate out a few minutes later saying you were done. You had only eaten a small portion of chicken...MAYBE 3 bites? AND only a couple of your French fries. I asked why you did not eat any more and you said "cause the chicken smells bad and the French fries are cold and need warmed up." I guess you let them sit so long they got cold.
You are so funny about the smells and textures of foods. AND it is not like we can just make you eat something. SO it sometimes is very difficult to find you things to eat! You do like pork chops so I will have to buy some more. BUT they have to be cooked in butter and not browned in any way. Little salt and little pepper. AND all fat cut off and removed. You will not eat it any other way or if it is too brown.
You used to eat toast with butter sometimes for breakfast. Now not. Same with cereals...you usually won't now. Same with pancakes unless they come from a restaurant. You will eat bacon only occasionally here at home though you will eat it in a restaurant. AND even Dominos Pizza, your favorite, you won't always eat now. VERY VERY trying times. Today you had leftover Chinese fried rice warmed up for breakfast. You really like that a lot.
AND as far as getting stuck on something. Most recently it has been using my digital camera/recorder and you have to have it with you all the time. You are constantly recording things. Constantly. You never tire of it. You want to take the camera everywhere. You can sit in your room all day and record yourself playing at the PC or doing things. Then you watch the clips over and over and over. It is unreal.
AND the sounds lately!! You have an infatigeable amount of sounds and sounds supply! It is constant. And while you do anything you have to make sounds! I try to limit you to only making the sounds in your room, and you do pretty well. Last night at 10:00 p.m. however you were still going strong. After I had been telling you for 2 hours it was "quiet time". Just exhausting. I am amazed you have any voice at all.
Home schooling will be starting soon and I think it will be good. You can get back into more of a routine again where you GET DRESSED every day and do things on a regular basis. Right now it is near impossible to even get you out of your pajamas every day (course I tend to want to do the same thing so I can't say too much). haha.
I love you my little man anyway! JUST AS YOU ARE!
Mommy
You are so funny about the smells and textures of foods. AND it is not like we can just make you eat something. SO it sometimes is very difficult to find you things to eat! You do like pork chops so I will have to buy some more. BUT they have to be cooked in butter and not browned in any way. Little salt and little pepper. AND all fat cut off and removed. You will not eat it any other way or if it is too brown.
You used to eat toast with butter sometimes for breakfast. Now not. Same with cereals...you usually won't now. Same with pancakes unless they come from a restaurant. You will eat bacon only occasionally here at home though you will eat it in a restaurant. AND even Dominos Pizza, your favorite, you won't always eat now. VERY VERY trying times. Today you had leftover Chinese fried rice warmed up for breakfast. You really like that a lot.
AND as far as getting stuck on something. Most recently it has been using my digital camera/recorder and you have to have it with you all the time. You are constantly recording things. Constantly. You never tire of it. You want to take the camera everywhere. You can sit in your room all day and record yourself playing at the PC or doing things. Then you watch the clips over and over and over. It is unreal.
AND the sounds lately!! You have an infatigeable amount of sounds and sounds supply! It is constant. And while you do anything you have to make sounds! I try to limit you to only making the sounds in your room, and you do pretty well. Last night at 10:00 p.m. however you were still going strong. After I had been telling you for 2 hours it was "quiet time". Just exhausting. I am amazed you have any voice at all.
Home schooling will be starting soon and I think it will be good. You can get back into more of a routine again where you GET DRESSED every day and do things on a regular basis. Right now it is near impossible to even get you out of your pajamas every day (course I tend to want to do the same thing so I can't say too much). haha.
I love you my little man anyway! JUST AS YOU ARE!
Mommy
Monday, August 08, 2005
Dear Noah:
We made it to church yesterday! BUT you had a very difficult time....could not handle the sounds and kept saying it was too loud. It was a bit loud...but seems like the more often we go the more used to the sounds you become!
BUT you had a difficult time sitting still and handling the sounds. Otherwise you did pretty well all in all.
Came back home...and I made homemade ice cream which fascinated you as you watched the can spin around and around.
You are really into your Bible and Bible stories right now which I think is fabulous. I hung the Months of August and September words on your door today and now you are thinking you "changed your mind and want to start school TODAY!"
SO...we will see. I guess we could start it today if you like. Which reminds me I need to fill out that paperwork to home school you and SEND IT IN! YIKES!
LOVE YOU MUCH!!
Mommy
BUT you had a difficult time sitting still and handling the sounds. Otherwise you did pretty well all in all.
Came back home...and I made homemade ice cream which fascinated you as you watched the can spin around and around.
You are really into your Bible and Bible stories right now which I think is fabulous. I hung the Months of August and September words on your door today and now you are thinking you "changed your mind and want to start school TODAY!"
SO...we will see. I guess we could start it today if you like. Which reminds me I need to fill out that paperwork to home school you and SEND IT IN! YIKES!
LOVE YOU MUCH!!
Mommy
Friday, August 05, 2005
Dear Noah:
Okay...seems to be working on Netscape. Not sure what is happening with AOL!
Anyway...I had written about how when we were reading your Bible the other night you said you needed a new one...a blank one...one where you could write things in it. I asked what you would write about. You said "going to Heaven". I asked what you would say and you said "don't be afraid". I asked if you would say anything else and you said "no, that's all".
I then asked you if you wanted to write about anything else. You said "me dying on the cross". You are infatuated with Jesus and His dying on the cross so I think that is what you mean..but you may understand the concept of dying to self as well as you seem to just have an amazing knowledge of these things for someone so young!
Anyway...cooler here the past few days. Yesterday it remained inthe 50s all day long AND it rained! Today it is starting out cloudy and still a bit rainy. LOVE it. Reminds me of fall!
I LOVE YOU SWEETIE PIE! We sure had fun playing Candyland!
Mommy
Anyway...I had written about how when we were reading your Bible the other night you said you needed a new one...a blank one...one where you could write things in it. I asked what you would write about. You said "going to Heaven". I asked what you would say and you said "don't be afraid". I asked if you would say anything else and you said "no, that's all".
I then asked you if you wanted to write about anything else. You said "me dying on the cross". You are infatuated with Jesus and His dying on the cross so I think that is what you mean..but you may understand the concept of dying to self as well as you seem to just have an amazing knowledge of these things for someone so young!
Anyway...cooler here the past few days. Yesterday it remained inthe 50s all day long AND it rained! Today it is starting out cloudy and still a bit rainy. LOVE it. Reminds me of fall!
I LOVE YOU SWEETIE PIE! We sure had fun playing Candyland!
Mommy
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Dear Noah:
Wondering how in the world we will manage things if I end up with no job or income at all. Trying to think of things I could do to make money if I need to. SO many things to think about...on TOP of all the things we already have to think about.
I do believe God will provide as He always does Noah. However, my human side still has a hard time butting out of God's business and waiting on HIS perfect timing. Since I cannot see the whole picture and end result and since I am human, this means your mommy tends to worry sometimes. Not worry like I used to cause in the back of my mind I DO know things will be okay somehow. BUT...I have a hard time blocking things from my mind and not thinking about them sometimes!
Otherwise, you have had some trying times the past few days to week. The littlest thing can make you cry in frustation. Thank goodness it does not last too long....but some of the things you get upset about most would not understand. Sometimes I have a hard time understanding! BUT I think I "get you" pretty well now and I can understand where you are coming from in most cases.
The other night you decided to try sleeping in your own bed. While I know eventually that HAS to happen, I sure did miss you in my bed snuggling up with me! I also worried about you in your room and wondered if you were okay or if you would sneak out or what if someone came in and I did not hear them and tried taking you away and then of course all the MOMMY WORRIES started. I tried to think of you as a regular kid who would most likely some day LOVE to have a room to themselves and be alone in it! However, so far you have not really been that type and you seem to really enjoy being with me and Daddy which we love!
I have continued to let you sleep in our bed when you want as it is usually just me in it anyway when I go to bed as you daddy is not going to bed at that time. AND it is easier to KNOW exactly where you are at all times and not worry about you or wonder if you are out of your room or out the door or into something in another room or out on the balcony. Just easier to know you are right there safe beside me. Once Daddy comes to bed I then have to get up anyway....so it just seems okay to not push you out of the bed yet as you are so insecure about things. I suppose I am not helping that along (though I NEVER tell you things I worry about!)
We went to Super Target today and you wore your orthotics in your shoes. Then surprised me by saying you had to go play at the park after shopping. Course we had no time and it was too hot then and by the time we were done shopping your feet and legs were starting to hurt a bit. Not quite completely used to the orthotics! BUT while shopping in Target you cried a bit because I told you we would probably NOT have time to go play at the park and it would be too hot then.
You soon got over it. You found a new toy shopping cart to buy and have been playing with it since!
Warm again today. AND now windy....it may storm later which will be great if it does!
I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK AGAIN!
Mommy
I do believe God will provide as He always does Noah. However, my human side still has a hard time butting out of God's business and waiting on HIS perfect timing. Since I cannot see the whole picture and end result and since I am human, this means your mommy tends to worry sometimes. Not worry like I used to cause in the back of my mind I DO know things will be okay somehow. BUT...I have a hard time blocking things from my mind and not thinking about them sometimes!
Otherwise, you have had some trying times the past few days to week. The littlest thing can make you cry in frustation. Thank goodness it does not last too long....but some of the things you get upset about most would not understand. Sometimes I have a hard time understanding! BUT I think I "get you" pretty well now and I can understand where you are coming from in most cases.
The other night you decided to try sleeping in your own bed. While I know eventually that HAS to happen, I sure did miss you in my bed snuggling up with me! I also worried about you in your room and wondered if you were okay or if you would sneak out or what if someone came in and I did not hear them and tried taking you away and then of course all the MOMMY WORRIES started. I tried to think of you as a regular kid who would most likely some day LOVE to have a room to themselves and be alone in it! However, so far you have not really been that type and you seem to really enjoy being with me and Daddy which we love!
I have continued to let you sleep in our bed when you want as it is usually just me in it anyway when I go to bed as you daddy is not going to bed at that time. AND it is easier to KNOW exactly where you are at all times and not worry about you or wonder if you are out of your room or out the door or into something in another room or out on the balcony. Just easier to know you are right there safe beside me. Once Daddy comes to bed I then have to get up anyway....so it just seems okay to not push you out of the bed yet as you are so insecure about things. I suppose I am not helping that along (though I NEVER tell you things I worry about!)
We went to Super Target today and you wore your orthotics in your shoes. Then surprised me by saying you had to go play at the park after shopping. Course we had no time and it was too hot then and by the time we were done shopping your feet and legs were starting to hurt a bit. Not quite completely used to the orthotics! BUT while shopping in Target you cried a bit because I told you we would probably NOT have time to go play at the park and it would be too hot then.
You soon got over it. You found a new toy shopping cart to buy and have been playing with it since!
Warm again today. AND now windy....it may storm later which will be great if it does!
I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK AGAIN!
Mommy
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This website is part of the autism-assembly, this is a coalition of
members of the autistic community who share the common goal of seeking
acceptance for those on the autistic spectrum, who aim to educate about
autism, and who are not seeking a cure for autism. This is part of the
global autism rights movement.
