Saturday, August 30, 2008

Dear Noah.......you slept with SONIC last night......

Here you are.....sleeping with the Giant Sonic last night.......he takes up at least half the bed......and you have a Queen sized bed!  Here you are smiling as you touched him while falling asleep......

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Here you are asleep...still smiling......SONIC is wide awake staring back at me!

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I think the past couple of days you look a little out of sorts......almost like you are fighting off catching something...tired...something.  Your uncle Sonny thought you looked sad.  I then remembered you had a busy week going back to school and you sometimes act like this when you recover from a lot of stimulation.  SO I guess this is down time for you and you are a semi-walking zombie for awhile.

You  also hit and cut your head on grandma C's windows outside the back porch yesterday....and I know that had to hurt.

Today you are on your computer checking out all the towns and cities in Ohio on the map.....doing research....about villages.......where Annie Oakley lived.......was born.....etc.   Whenever I ask "WHY?" you always tell me the same..."because my mind wants to."   You used to always say "I don't know" so I am very happy to hear you give another reason....and try to explain the urges you have and why you have them.

Meanwhile.....we have a 3-day weekend coming up......Ohio State just BEAT Youngstown......and the weather seems to be very nice.

I love you Noah.....sweet dreams!

 

Mommy

XOXOX

Friday, August 29, 2008

Noah getting Sonic OUT of the box!

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Dear Noah........your BIG SURPRISE!

Today when I picked you up from school I told you a big surprise was waiting at home for you.  A very nice young woman who reads your blog read about you not winning a Sonic the Hedgehog at our county fair.  She went to her fair (in another state entirely) and played a different game....and WON A GIANT SONIC THE HEDGEHOG for YOU!  She had to play the game THREE times to win the prize and she passed up winning a BIKE just to choose instead this Giant Sonic the Hedgehog. 

Today the box arrived....

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Now you can see how LARGE the box is.......

When you got home.....you could not wait to open it and see what was inside......it took forever to get this Sonic OUT of the box.....his head was as large as the box was!  I will upload a movie clip of the Sonic in a minute....but here are a couple of quick pictures....of you with Sonic....

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He is HUGE!!!!!!!  The pictures do not show him off as well as the movie clip probably will...so I will upload it next.  ANYWAY.....a HUGE THANKS TO YOU KRISTINA for such a grand expression of kindness and thoughtfulness....Noah thanks you very very much!

Dear Noah........today will be the end of your first week in school......

And you have done very well.  You are enjoying it and have much better ethics this year when it comes to getting ready for school and being ready to leave on time without much if any prompting on my part.....you are finally starting.......slowly...to do things on your own that  you know you have to do without my asking you to......in order to be ready to go to school.   That is impressive to me.......

Here are a couple of photos of you your father took while you two were together.

 

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Yes....you love looking at toilets at Lowes.......along with all their appliances......washers.....dryers.......refrigerators......ovens......etc.  So your dad and you took a trip to Lowes over the weekend while he was here to check things out.

Otherwise......we are heading into a 3-day weekend already.....can you believe September is next week??

I love you Noah!

 

Mommy

XOXOX

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Dear Noah.......open house and your first day of school...

Monday night was OPEN HOUSE....and the weather was nice and cool outside.  Parents and children gathered around the front door to the school like they were attending some grand premiere.  It was sort of funny actually...and at the same time I was still impressed with the NUMBER of parents who actually turned out  with their kids for the open house.

Here you are standing in line waiting to go in and meet your teachers.

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Once inside we went upstairs to see your classroom and meet your teachers.  WOW....you actually got a classroom this year that has a window air conditioner AND fans.  WHAT a nice cool room and nice teachers.   Here you are waiting to meet the teacher in your classroom.

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You took your camera along and were busy snapping photos of the classroom.  I did not take my camera because I never think they appreciate us taking photos but it would probably have been fine.  I have forgotten to check your camera for photos I could use!

There are 2 teachers and an aide in your classroom this year.   This is VERY good news and nice.  Your seat was in the front row.....beside a girl and close to a former boy classmate you like.   I forget who was on the other side.   You will go to different classrooms for math and social studies/science along with the rest of your class.  I guess they start preparing you for going to different classes for different subjects early these days!  Your science room was also nice and cool and looked like you would have a lot of fun!  Same for math.  I am VERY excited this year about your attending school and felt even better once I saw the classrooms and met the teachers!  You also had no more trouble-makers in your classroom.....well...maybe one  you said.  He sits in the back and always tries to coerce you if you are in the  bathroom at the same time he is....into peeing into different areas other than the stall toilet or urinals.  I asked you WHERE he suggested you pee (figuring it was the sink or trash can and I am sure his goal was to get YOU into trouble for being caught doing it or telling on you then)...but you said you did not know because you did not take time to listen to him.  You went to the stall and locked the door.  When I asked what you said back to him you said NOTHING and ignored him.  I am so thankful you are doing this and I hope and pray you can continue to avoid kids like that and ignoring them....and avoiding those kinds of problems no kid needs or needs to be exposed to.   Of course you never tell on kids like that.....so the teachers are probably not even aware he does those things.  I am hoping he will NOT do that again this year.

Here you are the morning of your first day.  You got up more than early enough and were ready to leave a full hour earlier than you needed to be.  I guess you were very anxious.   When I asked you what you were most excited about...you replied "seeing all my friends again and playing with them!"  WOW.....I am so happy for you and thankful.  You have been through many times in the past when you did not even WANT to be around other kids let alone play with them or even have them look at you! 

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You dad did not make it after all to send you off for the day....but you said that you were not too disappointed about that. 

Off we went...and I walked with you to the front door where I have gotten advance permission to drop you off.  IN you went with a BIG smile on your face, carrying a huge bag of your school supplies. 

At the end of the day your father and I went to pick you up.  I have to say I was so much more impressed with how the school handled everything this year.  The children were so quiet and orderly when it came time to walk to the bus lines or leaving the building.  EVERYTHING was so much more organized and just BETTER. 

Here you finally came.  The teachers said you had a great day....as you did yourself.   We took you to Kentucky Fried Chicken where I began to ask you for more details about your day.  IN the past you would not be able to answer any questions we asked you about your school days.....always answering with "I don't know's."  OR you would tire quickly after successfully answering 1-2 questions and have a FIT or meltdown if we asked you anything else.

NOW.......WOW.  You talked and talked and answered many questions and offered up information we did not even ask you about.   I am so proud of  you and thankful you are making such progress!

Once home I unloaded your backpack.  (OH...Your SONIC backpack arrived while you were in school Tuesday and so did your SONIC T-shirt so those were nice surprises for you when you got home).

Inside your backpack I found a stack of papers I had to go through...and a copy of your SPRING 2008 Achievement test from earlier this year when you were still in 3rd grade.   I was AMAZED to see your scores.   OFF the charts for reading and reading comprehension.....you scored in the high end of the ADVANCED section.   You were in the ACCELERATED section for math.   I mean it was incredible to see these scores!

I went back and looked at your former evaluations and flipped through your 3-inch thick medical file......and glanced over former evaluations and results and test scores....and remembered when you had ZERO comprehension, NO speech/language........and you were like in the 3% range of where you should be.  THIRD percent!???  AND NOW.....you are in ADVANCED!  Your deficits were off the charts....and you were WELL below even the lowest average for your age.  In fact...you were about 2 years below your biological age for even gross motor development and fine motor skills development.  

To see you NOW.....and how well you can talk.....how well you can read....and UNDERSTAND what you are reading.....how much stronger physically you have become... what you can now do where before you could not.....blows me away.  ANYONE looking through your chart before and seeing you NOW would not recognize you anymore.  You have made such tremendous progress!  OFF the charts progress!   Homeschooling, your therapies, just working one-on-one with you at home on many things.....and being around family since moving back to my home state.......as well as public school last year and now again this year.....have worked wonders in your life.   I stand back and watch you and see how you interact and what you say to others....and you are just so THERE already....YOU are ready......just to be a part of everything and the group and with your peers.  A day I wondered if we would ever see.

YET you are still very much YOU....true to yourself...retaining your ability to sometimes display affection and emotion much younger than your age and peers......but so endearing and loving.....nothing fake or phony....so genuine.....and I give thanks to GOD that He is blessing you and you are succeeding and progressing and becoming quite a most amazing young man.

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Goodnight Noah.....have sweet dreams and rest up for another exciting day tomorrow. 

And to any other parent out there wondering if your child will ever be able to DO IT or make any progress.....please just don't give up on them.  I hope our story offers "hope" to many.   Find what works best for your child's specific needs and just go with it.   Most of Noah's big moments of progress were NOT overnight successes.  MANY took months and even YEARS to get to the point of where he is today.  I mean some of the most basic things a child can learn or do!  Some such as toileting issues he still struggles with today but he is getting there!!

SO just keep plugging along.....keep trying.   Rest up and take good care of yourself so you will have the energy and patience to keep trying over and over and over again.   Spend time with your child.....lots of one-on-one is HUGE.   AND lots of LOVE. 

And GOD I give you all the praise and glory because I do realize without your blessings and direction in our lives we would not even be where we are today....I am not enough of an idiot to believe this is all my doing.....and THANK YOU for giving me this amazing little boy to begin with.....such a joy he is and precious to me.   I KNOW you will use him one day to make a positive impact in the world. HOW do I know this? Because you already are.

I love you very much Noah.....forever I will...

Mommy

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XOXOX

Monday, August 25, 2008

Dear Noah.....your visit with your dad so far....

Is going pretty well. He arrived on Saturday afternoon and wanted to take you and me out to dinner together....but I could tell you would rather it just be him and you alone together so I offered that option to you which you accepted pretty quickly! Then you could not wait to leave the house and get on the road and back to his hotel to start your long weekend with him.



You were also impressed with his car rental...he does always seem to get a brand new nice car each time. Maybe car renting times have changed over the years?



You called me Saturday night before bedtime. I also talked to you Sunday morning/afternoon for a bit. You sounded like you were having a very good time. Every so often on the phone when you two were driving in the car I could hear you tell me "just a minute mommy" and then you telling your dad "it's 65 MPH through here"......yes.....YOU are very good at telling the driver the correct speed limit to go on different roads....where to turn.....where to go...etc. You will make an excellent driver one day!

The thing that impressed me the most listening to you talk on the phone was how well you enunciated all your words in your sentences.....but at the same time you sounding so very much like about a 5-year-old little boy. It was very sweet....you talking so plainly now that anyone could understand you....such a FAR cry from when it was all garbly goop at best and even I had a difficult time understanding you. You really impressed me but it also tugged at my heart because you sounded so small and tiny on the other end of the phone.

Opie and I are holding our own back at Fort Home. I have to admit I feel totally lost without you here...which always surprises me and catches me off guard a bit. Since you were born you have always been with me.....we always do everything together. I mean you even go with me to MY doctor appointments if you are not in school. SO this is very new to me...and I felt like my biggest reason ....for even being alive was missing. Here I finally had time to do whatever I wanted....but I did not feel like doing too much of anything. I honestly did not know what to do.

I realized since you were born I just dove right into living my life FOR YOU ..to be your advocate...to help you succeed and be the best you could be..so one day you could be Mr. Independent and able to do well for yourself and others. I think somewhere along the way I may have lost sight of myself. I am not complaining. I know I am still here. I know who I am...what I want..what I don't want....what I need. I have just been simmering on the back burner keeping warm.....

Many people including myself will oftentimes sit back and ask themselves "what is my purpose for even being alive?" "WHY are we here?"

I think our PURPOSE can change throughout our lives. I think it is natural for most moms to sort of give up themselves to devote to raising their kids when they have any. THEN when the child leaves the nest one day...they probably go through what I did this weekend; feeling sort of lost....not sure what to do......not quite remembering much of anything about themselves anymore.

It is great if you can keep the two separate and yet together in the same life.....but I find that hard to do though I am getting better at it. I think it is important that you see I have specific likes and dislikes or hobbies and activities I do. We are now at a point in our lives where I have some "time" again where I can actually allow some of those things for ME to creep back into our day-to-day living. It has been a long time coming....so I imagine I will flounder around like a fish out of water for awhile. BUT I know without a doubt it will all come together. It always does. Our lives are really falling into place very nicely....and you are becoming quite an amazing young man.

I do miss you and look forward to seeing you later today. Until then.......Opie and I send our love!




Mommy
XOXOX

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Dear Noah.....your upcoming visit with your dad.....

is fast approaching. Last night you were laying things out on the bed you wanted to take with you to the hotel. We have a list.

I told you I would miss you a lot (you will only be gone a couple of days and I may even see you during those days).....but I said I would miss you...and you leaned over....hugged me and said "Well I won't miss you at all!"

I was taken aback because I thought for sure you were going to say you would miss me too...but then remembered you have always been this way....and being away from me has NEVER bothered you.

When I pretended to be a little hurt by this to you to see how you would react.....you changed your missing me to "well....I will miss you VERY LITTLE!"

(like that was an improvement?) hee hee.

I am thankful in a way you are more aloof to these things...and I bet you will miss being at home if nothing else.....and away from your PC and Opie!

I love you regardless.....and do hope you have a good time with your dad this weekend and next few days and that you remain safe at all times.

Mommy

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XOXOX

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Dear Noah........Model T Ford Museum.......

on our way back from Indiana yesterday we stopped to see the Model T Ford Museum. Once inside there was so much glare from the sun coming through the windows the photos all turned out pretty bad.....but you enjoyed checking out all the old cars and gasoline pumps.

Here are a couple of photos....







school day is approaching!

I love you Noah......

Mommy
XOXOX

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Dear Noah......Fair Fun.....

 

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You had a blast on day #3 at the fair this year with your cousin and a friend.  You saw THREE of your classmates at the fair and one of your former teachers.  You were so excited about all of that!  We saw some animals again and you got to race down the giant slide and ride the merry-go-round .....and play putt putt golf.....and LOTS and LOTS of Skeeball.......but you did not win anything.  Here you are looking so sad about that...and tired.

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Here you are thinking and watching the girls ride the bumper cars...

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You had a good time....and seemed a lot more subdued than normal.  I think you were tired too.....and you seemed very reflective throughout the day.  Maybe I am weird but I like these reflective shots of you...and often wonder what you are thinking.  Like the shot above....I see your face and your hands....and take notice that your hands still look so much like they did when you were very very small...maybe 2-3 years old....the little dimples/indentations are still there where the knuckles will one day be....and you just seem so little and small and childlike.  I imagine I will always see my little boy when I see such photos as the one above......when certain things will stand out and still look like when you were a toddler......at least to me.  I still see this little guy there....even though you are definitely growing up. 

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Like this picture of you when you were in kindergarten.   If you look closely on the top of your head in this shot you can see the giant bald spot where you used to pull your hair out....it got so bad the entire top of your hair was all gone except for little stubs...and you looked like a monk.  You would sit and twirl and twirl your hair until it got knots in it.....and then you would rip it all out.  But check out that cute little smile...and face...and hands....I still see this in you even now.

I think I always will to some degree.  Guess that is just a "mommy/parent" thing.

I am glad you handled the fair and noises and all the stimuli so well.  In the past there would have been NO WAY I could have taken you to anything like a fair.

I love you bunches Noah!

 

Mommy

XOXOX

thanks for another award....from Brandy

over at Brandy's blurbs - click title for link

Monday, August 18, 2008

Dear Noah.....you have been pretty busy the past couple of days!

Well Friday was our big garage sale! You DID sell your bicycle and a game you had put out for the sale.....you did very well the entire day but were very disappointed when cousin Audrey did not really seem all that interested in playing with you.

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Your uncle Sonny and his grandson Wesley stopped by the sale and they mentioned they might go to the county fair that night. I have always wanted to take you the fair AT NIGHT at least once.....and the weather was GORGEOUS for a fair. Nice and cool......almost like fall. SO they called.....we went and met them over at the fairgrounds and walked around together. You played some Skeeball and putt putt with me. You then found the new GIANT SLIDE and decided you wanted to try that. The first time the lady let you go down it for free since we did not have a ticket. Then you loved it so much you wanted to go up and down it like 20 times so we bought you a wristband so you could ride all the rides as often as you wanted. You must have went up and down that slide at least 20 times! You had a ball! You also saw a booth where you throw darts to win a GIANT SONIC the Hedgehog!!

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(This is how the slide was at our fair but this is NOT the slide as I did not take my camera)

We checked out the animals....and bought grandma C. some waffles and kettle korn. We headed home and it was almost 11:15 before we got there. It was a GREAT TIME!

Saturday morning I worked but then we stopped over that afternoon/early evening to see grandma C. and take her the kettle korn and waffles. UNCLE SONNY and his wife showed up and it was funny because we had just seen them the night before! He was hungry for ice cream and wanted to run to the store to get it. He asked you to ride along with him. While at the store he was trying to get you something you might like for a snack to take back....but you kept saying NO to all the choices and offers. Finally you walked away and came back and DID place an item into the cart....and patted it looking up at Sonny. He said he had to laugh because it was a 17.00 ATLAS! He asked if there was a CHEAPER one! haha...you said NO. BUT you did put it back.....(but we did stop on the way home and I let you buy it anyway...it is a 2009 and you made money at the garage sale).

SUNDAY morning we decided to go BACK to the FAIR and see all the booths and animal exhibits....and nothing else......so we did. Since I have a pass now all I have to do is wave it to the men at the front and we can keep on going. We had another great time checking out all the animals and booths.

We then came home for a break after hitting up Wal*Mart for your cookies you like. THEN we headed to INDIANA .....

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to go to CiCi's Pizza since you discovered Richmond, IN has one and you love their pizza. You ate FIVE pieces of pizza!

THEN off to WEBB's ANTIQUE mall and WARM GLOW CANDLE shop to check out some things. Back in Ohio we stopped at Kroger's to do our shopping and then home.

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Warm Glow Candle store

Warm Glow Candle now has a CAFE inside it too....where they sell sandwiches and coffees and teas and ice cream. VERY cool!

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You fell off your chair in your room once yesterday and then off the bed last night again....and you really banged yourself up the last time....squatting on the footboard facing the bed and drawing....you fell backwards. Man did you cry! I put cold compresses all over the banged up areas...and this morning they look much better!

Today, MONDAY we will be heading to the fair again. Your Aunt Melissa and cousin Audrey will be coming over and she is bringing a friend. You are very excited about that!

THIS SATURDAY your father is coming in to visit for a few days so you are super excited about that. AND then TUESDAY you will be heading back to school already!!!!!!! Can you believe that????

This post was long....and sorta makes one tired probably reading it. BUT I am determined to cram as many fun things in your last few days of summertime as I can!

I love you Noah....to the moon and back again and again and again.......forever I will!

And Noah...I thought it was so sweet that during the garage sale you saw a yellow Pokeman stuffed character for sale and you grabbed it thinking your school classmate McKenzie would like it....how sweet and thoughtful that was...to get something you know she would like to give to her this year. I do hope and pray she is in your class because you like her a lot and you both have so much in common!

Mommy

XOXOX

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Will be posting soon!

Been busy here....Noah and I hit the fair Friday night....going again this morning...and probably tomorrow.

MORE later.

Thanks to Marie6 for another award....check sidebar for link to her blog.

Hope everyone has a good day!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Dear Noah......your thoughts on committing suicide.....


We took a trip to see Grandma C. today......it was so nice outside so we all sat outside on the lawn chairs and you in the swing...it was very nice! While outside grandma mentioned something about a man committing suicide....and you interrupted and wanted to know if he had a WEAPON....if he committed suicide with a weapon.

Grandma said yes.......you had this smirky look on your face...right now weapons seem to sort of fascinate you.

I asked you if you knew what suicide meant......you did. You said it is when someone kills themselves. I asked you where you heard about it......you said it was just "in your mind".....an answer you give to me frequently.

You then told about ANOTHER way someone could commit suicide.......and that was BY A TRAIN! You had seen online on a RR site you go to all the time ...someone mentioning about a man who apparently committed suicide by walking into the path of a train.

I tell you that is NOT a good thing to do and I asked you if you understood that. You said you did.....but with the same breath you then said if you could make it where you had like MANY lives....like 9 or 10.....or more like characters on your videogames....you would take your life......I guess to "see what it was like?" (your thinking you would still have 8 lives left....etc.....no big deal).

I don't really understand this and hope this semi-infatuation fades quickly. I know while you can give me the definition of what committing suicide means....I still don't think you totally grasp the concept behind death and killing...etc. I also let you know this did not make me feel very comfortable hearing you talk like this.

You have also been mentioning a lot lately how you wish you could invent a TIME TRAVEL machine....so you could go to different places and see things (mainly toilets and restaurants or parks) you have been to before in the past or in the future as an adult man. I find that fascinating and told you to study hard in science and math!

I know you wish someone were here and living here with a gun.....because you have told me many times you would feel safer because they could then just shoot and kill an intruder.

I know kids are fascinated with guns and such...especially boys......BUT I pray to GOD you avoid accidents and getting involved in things you shouldn't....especially when you may not understand them very well.

I love you Noah.....but you make me a little nervous sometimes.......for YOU.....not me.

Mommy
XOXOX

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Dear Noah....JUST DO IT!!


When you have to go POOP I wish you would just STOP whatever it is you are doing.....and "JUST DO IT" as the Nike commercial tells us all!

You have developed a new trend. I know this is a phase and I hope and pray it will be short-lived. So far it has been going on now for at least a month or longer.

You get busy in the day...playing your computer games or whatever. You get the urge to poop...but instead of taking the time to go right then......you try to HOLD IT. THEN because you try to hold it....and are squeezing your tiny butt together so tightly.....you actually have something trapped up inside there that needs wiped off.......but instead of even taking time to do that.......you instead just take all your pants off....and sit naked with your butt cheeks squeezed and held tightly together.

NINE times out of TEN when I go to your room to ask you something.....get something...etc......I find you there with your shirt on but your pants around your knees or ankles or off entirely and tossed aside on the floor. I guess you are afraid you will soil your undies....so rather than do that.....you remove the clothing closest to the source of soiling.

WHENEVER I see you like this.....I tell you to STOP and go wipe your butt and get your clothes back on. You say OKAY.....but it makes no difference how often I tell you...you still do the same thing again the next time you get the urge to poop, like usually within the hour....because you really need to go pass something!

Now thankfully you still go often enough to keep things moving in any given day.......but meanwhile you have probably oh......at least 10 episodes or more each day where you "feel" you need to WIPE your butt......but not enough to go sit on the toilet and pass anything.....sometimes you just feel your butt needs wiped.....but there isn't anything there at all.

This is reminiscent of the not too distant past when you would call on me to come wipe your butt all the time.....after a bowel movement or just any time the urge struck and you felt your butt needed wiped. I always wondered WHY you had a little residue left all the time on your butt. NOW I KNOW......you try to HOLD IT.....it is not because everything will not pass...you won't allow it all to come out!

I have told you this will make your butt sore....which it has in the past.....the importance of GOING to the bathroom when you have to go.....especially when the toilet is within your eyesight. I mean it is not like you HAVE to hold it for any reason. Our toilet is right there.

I know this will be yet another learning curve for you in this BIG journey of toilet training issues you have had in your life......and I know it will take countless repetitions of me reminding you to GO TO THE BATHROOM.......and to not wait......to stay clean....and to keep your pants on.

I can only hope you pick up on this sooner than later. I know in the past it has taken YEARS for you to acquire and accomplish the next level of toilet training issues you have faced.

When I call you for dinner I will hear you say "Okay but I have to go wipe my butt first!"
When I go to take you some lunch......you will have to go wipe your butt first.
Before bed.....I find you sitting with no pants on needing to go wipe your butt.

Over and over again many times throughout the day this little scenario plays out.

I have reminded you that while in school or around other people or in public.....etc.....ANYwhere but home (and even that we need to curb)....you CANNOT BE WITHOUT YOUR PANTS ON YOUR BODY.....

I did notice at the dentist on Monday while she was cleaning your teeth you had your hand stuck down in your shorts.....because the dental hygienist saw it and pulled your hand out of your pants and teasingly to "get your hand out of there!" You just smiled big.

Otherwise.......you had a good day today I think. Getting you out of your room to do anything with me lately is work. I don't know why.....but you don't seem too overly interested in spending a lot of time with me.

I love you......tomorrow I may count how many times you do the wiping of your butt. Of course if I plan on counting it.....this means you will probably not do it much at all!

I love you Noah!

Mommy XOXOX

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Cox Arboretum....Butterfly House......

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if you would like to see some of the photos we saw at the Butterfly House yesterday...please go check out my photo blog at:

PHOTOGRAPHY FOR DUMMIES

Monday, August 11, 2008

Dear Noah........a busy Monday!

Today you had a dentist appointment at Children's Medical Center. I told you we would leave early so I could take you to breakfast at Cracker Barrel. You were excited about that.

This morning you woke up super early however....3:30 a.m. (I was asleep on the sofa getting ready to get up to do some makeup work for Friday) and I asked you what was wrong. You said you had a bad dream. You then proceeded to tell me about some BAD MEN who tried to break in and a security system we had in our house and the bad men broke your security......on and on the details poured out. You were too afraid to go back in your room to sleep.....you wanted to go into mine. BUT I was not even in my room and I was getting up for the day. SO I asked if you would like to lie down on the sofa and you said yes. You slept very well once there.

SO we get up and leave and have a nice breakfast. BUT as usual afterwards on our way to the dentist clinic in the hospital even with my GPS we got turned around because of detours and such. EVERY time we go down there this happens....After hearing the voice on the GPS say "recalculating" like a million times as we turned down yet another incorrect street.....I could have yanked the thing off the windshield and tossed it.....and I was so upset but trying NOT to get too upset especially in front of you as that only makes you more upset. SO I leave the GPS on in the background and call the hospital. Your appointment is now like 5 minutes away and they do not allow you to be late. SO here I am in some parking lot in downtown Dayton area.....and spewing out my frustrations at the ladies in the dentist clinic who actually found my dilemma quite hilarious.....and I suppose it was. BUT I explained to them I am so tired of this happening..no matter what time my appointment is......there are always so many construction issues and detours we never get there on time......and they asked where I was......I said I had no clue.... Since I was raising my voice and getting frustrated YOU got very upset and started crying....then holding your crotch afraid you would not get to a bathroom in time as you really had to pee you said.....sigh....

....then they heard my GPS in the background..so knew where I was......and then as the GPS directed me they reassured me that was the way to go....and I would not get into trouble for being late if I was but they said I was right around the corner.....and yes I was. We arrived still ON TIME....I was amazed. They were laughing the entire way.......and I am thankful they just did not hang up on me!

We got there....you have GREAT teeth...NO cavities again.......but you have HUGE issues with the stuff the need to do in your mouth. You cannot handle the squirting in and sucking out of the water. You kept asking for a STANDARD cup to rinse and spit but they said they do not do it that way there. You started to cry.....even though I was back there with you. SO they said they would wet these little gauze pads and wipe your teeth and then give you some water to swallow. That worked well and you calmed back down.

We got the teeth cleaned......the dentist said to wait a little longer to even begin to think about getting braces or some type of device to straighten your front teeth. He said the outcome would be the same whether we do it now or later when hopefully you could handle it better. So we will wait. UNLESS it bothers you in school and/or someone starts making fun of you.

After the dentist you played in the play area at the hospital for awhile. Then off to Cox Arboretum to the Butterfly House. We saw some amazing butterflies.

Then I took you to Fazoli's for lunch......and then home! On the way home we passed an ELK FARM....so I had to turn around and snap a few of those magnificent creatures!

Then turned toward home again........when not too far down the road a deer ran right out in front of our truck when we were going at least 55 MPH with another truck coming towards us.......I could not believe this...and tapped the brakes just hard enough to slow down just enough to miss it!! I could not swerve toward the ditch as it was going that way.....and I could not swerve the other direction as the truck on the other side of the road was right there.

I thank GOD literally we made it safely through that and the deer did too! TALK about close!

HOME now....I have since mowed the grass and showered...now to work more makeup hours for Friday...the day of our big garage sale and other stuff!

I LOVE YOU.......you did great today! I will post some pics tomorrow of the butterfly house and the ELK!

AND DON'T get me wrong. I am THANKFUL for my GPS.....it is one of the best investments I have ever made.....it just cannot seem to tell me how to easily get to Children's Medical Center if I take the highway....or maybe it does....but I can't seem to follow her directions clearly :(

Mommy
XOXOXOX

Sunday, August 10, 2008

thanks to a comment from STACEY T Noah will have a SONIC backpack for school!

I decided to go check out the link Stacey T left about a Sonic the Hedgehog backpack on Ebay.....and even though it was in Bangkok, Thailand....the seller has excellent ratings and the price was reasonable so I used the BUY IT NOW option and got it for Noah. It seems a little small but he has a backpack here at home with the same dimensions so it should work okay. Here is what it looks like. I was hoping to get him a BLUE and BLACK bag this year....he had a red and black one last year....but it really makes no difference and Noah loves it.

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AND......THE SAME seller was selling all sorts of SONIC t-shirts and stuff....so Noah picked out ONE Sonic T-shirt for now..because the shipping on the shirt is almost as much as the shirt.....here is the one he picked out for now. They also had some long-sleeved shirts but he gets so hot even in winter so he likes short-sleeved shirts sometimes even in winter inside the school.....so this is the one he picked out:

Yes....he likes bright colors!

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SO this means the sonic patch I can put on a pair of his jeans......a LONG-sleeved tee....or a hat. Maybe even his winter coat.

SO THANKS SO MUCH STACEY T for sending the link! Noah is very happy and even though I am out a bit of money....it is not much more than I would be out paying for a backpack from K-Mart of Wal*Mart.

THANKS AGAIN!

Saturday, August 09, 2008

Dear Noah.......FLUSHING BOY.......

Friday afternoon we went to see grandma C. because your grandma L and aunt Becky were also there for a visit. While there you suddenly announced to Aunt Becky and myself that when you became an adult you would be known as "THE FLUSHING BOY!" Your plans are to drive and stop at rest areas and FLUSH the toilets. We then talked about if you could DO that all the time as an adult...or HOW one might be able to get away with doing that all the time and not get into trouble. Your aunt Becky suggested you could be a janitor.....because then you could clean the toilets and flush them all you wanted!

SO you of course were like "YEAH YEAH YEAH ...that is what I will do.....I can be a SUBSTITUTE janitor and just fill in every once in awhile!" I think that might be a good solution to your problem of getting away with flushing toilets a lot in public.

I know you want to do much more than just being a janitor all the time......but it was cute to hear you calling yourself the FLUSHING BOY.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Also during our visit today.....any time you heard a little cuss word slip out you came running to tell me......my uncle Mike said "hell" and you came over to me and whispered....."he just said hell!"......then when your grandma C. said "son of a gun!" you came to me and said "grandma just said son of a gun!".....same for when grandma L. let "shit" slip out.....and "sucks".......you announced then that probably someone was going to say the F-word next! I said let's HOPE NOT! NO one did and that was the end of the cussing.

You were also very concerned when you saw my uncle Mike light up a cigarette and start smoking. You said "Mommy Mike is chewing tobacco!" I explained to you that he was SMOKING a cigarette and not really chewing tobacco. You said "oh but he shouldn't be doing that....it can cause pneumonia!" Over and over you kept repeating it to me.....you were very worried. You said that you saw it on the side of a cigarette pack...on a show you and grandpa L had watched the other night when we stopped there for a visit. That the surgeon general says it is bad for you and the package says all the things it can cause and all the bad things in the cigarettes.

You really retained a lot and it has made you VERY aware of the dangers of smoking and what can happen....including lung cancer. The fact that you have had pneumonia and remember how bad you felt.....also helps make the dangers of this all so very real. I am THANKFUL you watched the show and LEARNED and RETAINED all those facts about smoking and this is one case too where I am so thankful you are SUPER SENSITIVE to the smell of cigarette smoke and cannot stand it. I am pretty certain you will avoid that bad habit in your lifetime!

We had a great day. The weather has been absolutely gorgeous! VERY early fall-like..nice...not very hot and no humidity! You also enjoyed checking out the cats at grandma's house. We took along Opie and he visited with Tom and then Tom's girlfriend cat and 2 of her kittens came over...they nursed while there....it was all so sweet....








but grandma C. is not too thrilled....


And I love you my little flushing boy!

Mommy
XOXOX

Friday, August 08, 2008

Dear Noah.......I was able to find a SONIC patch so far.....


apparently they did come out with Sonic backpacks and shoes and all sorts of things back in SONIC days....hard to even find them on Ebay now.

I CAN and WILL paint you up a cool backpack if we cannot find one before school starts.....I can also iron on this SONIC patch onto a blue bag or black one. We WILL work it out.
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You are going to be 10 years old in December. You do not eat any vegetables......maybe a micro bite of carrot occasionally....so small even a mouse would probably pass it up. You call this 1/8th of an inch or 1/16th of an inch and if we measured it....you would be correct.

I still offer vegetables to you....but other than French Fried potatoes or hash browns from Burger King or McDonald's or Ore-Ida frozen ones....you do not eat any vegetables. NO green ones for sure.

Same for fruit. You will eat bananas in Gerber Stage 3 baby food occasionally. NOT real bananas. I did finally...FINALLY get you to eat apple slices......what progress! SO now you DO and WILL eat apple slices for a snack. I told you it is important to have at least ONE healthy snack every day.......and we can move it up from there.

I am so thankful you will eat the apple slices.

SO here you are....no veggies or fruits.....no bread other than Fazoli's garlic breadsticks of frozen Texas toast garlic bread......NO OTHER kind of bread will you even look at let alone eat.

Same for crackers.....you used to eat CLUB crackers but now you avoid crackers.

SO your main diet consists of Kraft macaroni and cheese....pizza when we can get it...chicken nuggets or my grilled chicken.....some French fries occasionally....spaghetti sauce only and garlic toast....black cherry Kool-Aid...your frozen hashbrowns and apple juice or apple slices.....milk and cookies (ONLY homemade M&M.....Pillsbury chocolate chip that you bake...or my homemade gingerbread cookies or Pillsbury gingerbread cookies with icing....)and an occasional frozen Popsicle...only the kind in the plastic sleeves not on a stick. RARELY will you eat Ruffles potato chips or Goldfish crackers......only multicolored now where before you never ate the green ones...

The ONLY candy you eat and rarely now are PLAIN multi-colored M&Ms.....no holiday colors.....and Hershey kisses. YOU SOMETIMES now will try a small sucker. I do not remember the last time you had any candy. Grandma sends a bag home every so often but you don't eat them from the bag. We instead bake them in cookies.

When your school has a special party and they bring in food....it is rare there is something there you can eat or drink. I try to always bring in something or donate something that you can also eat......so you can be a part of the group experience of sharing food with your classmates. MOST times though I just make sure you are fed before going and tell you it is okay and you can have something again afterwards....when you are back home. To just drink water while there...and you do and you do not really seem to mind.

IN fact Mr. Noah.....in actuality now......you are pretty good about things like that. What used to totally upset you or would most other people....you can see past it and not let it bother you so much. I think it does affect you though. I know in your after school group you were attending last fall you EARNED attendance for the end of year party.....and you requested Pillsbury refrigerator chocolate chip cookies for YOUR special treat. We were specific to the instructor...telling her it was the ONLY kind you would eat.....and the instructor like everyone else we know.....kept saying "oh I will do my best" and yet she failed to deliver the goods. This was to be your reward....and I had asked that something OTHER than food first of all be used for a reward....I do not believe in using FOOD as a reward for anything.

BUT it was a TREAT they said so I figured she would surely do the only cookies you would eat. It was just YOU and one other little boy who earned attendance at this party. Are you telling me this program could not afford ONE package of cookies to bake? I even offered to bake them and bring them in for you to share.

We show up that night....I made sure you had something to eat JUST IN CASE ---I went over verbally in the truck with you that it would be OKAY if we walked in there and you did not see the cookies you wanted.....to not get upset...it would be OKAY....we would do something special when we got back home. The other kid wanted ice cream.....something you would not eat.

We walked in...and what did we both immediately see on the table? CHIPS AHOY chocolate chip cookies. I saw the look on your face.....but you did not cry or make a peep or even complain. The instructor thought for sure I guess she could convince you to EAT them anyway.....but see...they don't GET that. Cause you won't. It is a smell thing....a TEXTURE thing...and getting you to transition to something like that would not happen instantly. So you did not get a treat. The instructor probably took the cookies home with her....and I vowed to NEVER allow that to happen again. Next time I will make SURE they do for you what they promise to do for you when you have earned it...or else I WILL provide what is needed. This group just got a grant for their after school behavioral group sessions and the goal this year will be based around NUTRITION.......getting kids to eat right and better snack choices, the human body. All the kids this year for snacks will have healthier choices....so this may be a good way for you to TRY some new things. Before all you ever got while there was water......because they never had anything else you would eat.

sigh.....

I know your particulars with foods never really bothered me....a couple of times it may have been a bit inconvenient....but I have adapted long ago and now while we may sometimes sit at the same table for a meal......we NEVER eat the same thing at home. I always prepare a meal for ME and an entirely different type of meal for you. I don't know it any other way...and am used to it. I don't try to force new things down your throat because I know when you are ready you will come around. I do continue to offer you new things...and one day you do eventually try something and realize you like it.....or can handle the texture or smell. When we go to a family event I plan ahead and take the foods you will need in order to sit down and eat a meal with everyone else. It is always different from what everyone else is having. Down to the dessert.

I never thought it required a lot of time and patience to do this until I used to have to go through each macaroni noodle searching to make sure there were no SPLITS in the sides of the noodle. Back then if you found a Kraft macaroni and cheese noodle with splits in them if you tried eating them you would gag and spit them back up.

I think then I realized most people would never do such a thing for anyone. NOT that it makes me special....I am not special. I am just your mom and I love you.

MOMMY
XOXOXO

Thursday, August 07, 2008

Dear Noah....you can be so polite.......and what will we do for school lunches this year?


I was doing my exercises today and you had to come out and ask me something....so you said "Mommy I hate to disturb you while you are doing your exercises but...."

You blow me away sometimes with how grown up and polite you can be.

I am already thinking about school lunches for you this year. Last year you ate leftover Domino's pizza EVERY DAY of the school year. EVERY DAY! I know you are limited in what you eat....and this sometimes goes in phases.....but I cannot imagine you being able to do that every day again of this coming school year. We tried to treat your school lunch as more of a midmorning "snack" as you really ate a meal AFTER school.....(a SUNCH as you call it.....half an early supper and half a late lunch). Then you do not have another meal. So you mainly eat breakfast.....have a snack......do the sunch....and then MAYBE sometimes another snack.

BUT...when you do the "snack" lunch at school and then eventually tire of the pizza and stop eating it pretty much altogether and only eat your cookies and milk for dessert....you sometimes (I think) just don't have sufficient energy reserves from a good food source in your system to properly handle a school day.

You have made your rounds with food. As a baby you did actually eat baby food fruits and veggies but no meat. That would make you vomit. As you got older the textures of the veggies or fruit gagged you..or the smell did.....so you refused them and you gravitated to the meat and bread. You ate toast with butter....but ONLY a specific type of margarine.....Blue Bonnet.....anything else you could smell and taste the difference and then you would NOT eat it. The bread also had to be a specific type of bread....(Orowheat buttermilk white bread I think it was) NO substitutes or you would NOT eat it and you would have a meltdown if someone tried to make you eat it. You would eat my bacon...then that stopped and you switched to precooked Oscar Mayer bacon strips.....you used to eat Pillsbury frozen pancakes but never my homemade pancakes. You WILL eat pancakes at restaurants.

You used to eat pork chops....now do not. You tell me maybe you will again when you are 30. You used to eat beef on pizza sometimes but now no. I for one do not encourage beef or pork so I don't care if you ever eat those again. You tell me maybe you will try a hamburger when you are 39. Ketchup at 25. You have specific ages for trying things in your life.

You used to eat ONLY BANQUET frozen chicken nuggets....NOTHING else. NOW you will NOT eat anything like that....only fast food chicken nuggets. RECENTLY I did finally get you to try my GRILLED chicken breast which you actually LOVED..so now we have that as a choice.

You will eat macaroni and cheese but it has to be ONLY KRAFT macaroni and cheese..cooked just right...not too soft and not too uncooked....and NO SPLIT NOODLES. IF anything is even remotely off...you will not eat it. (I remember going through the boxes before dumping the pasta into the boiling water...sifting through the noodles to make sure there were no split ones...and if there were....pulling them out and tossing them into the trash.)

Same for frozen French fries....they can ONLY be Ore-Ida and they can only be baked for so long. Too brown and you will not eat them. Too under-baked and you will not eat them. Finding your required state of perfection in foods for eating is sometimes hard to accomplish.

You used to eat my spaghetti but now will ONLY eat the sauce. NO pasta....but you will eat Garlic Toast (specific kind only) and dip it in the sauce. YOU WILL eat at Fazoli's however and the spaghetti there. Also the ziti.

You do not eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or bologna or any lunch meats or things like that. You will only eat Ruffles potato chips and not very often. I cannot send the spaghetti sauce and garlic toast to school and have you eat it hot and fresh like you have to have it. Same for the mac and cheese..which has to be cooked just so and I have to add extra cheese to it. So that leaves what options?

Leftover cold pizza. AND it took me a long time to get you to be able to eat COLD pizza which is the only way we can send the pizza to school and they do not apparently let any of you kids warm anything up in a microwave.

I have already sent an e-mail to the principal asking about this and if I could perhaps pick you up for lunch a couple of times per week or some type of alternative from time to time so you won't get burned out on the repetitive lunch. Although the repetition of meals never seems to bother you. You can have Ore-Ida hash browns every day for breakfast and never tire of them. Same for pizza......

We will work it out....so no worries. What used to seem like such a hard thing to do in regards to feeding you has actually become pretty easy. You actually require very little...and never seem to mind repetition of meals. You are easy to please as long as what I give you is one of the foods you can eat!

I love you Noah.....very much!

Mommy
X0X0X0

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Dear Noah......striking differences in your emotional maturity......compared to your peers.....


becomes so noticeable in specific situations. These are things I try to avoid worrying about and feeling anxious about.......nonetheless things I do think about and wonder how they will play out as you get older and your peers are so much more emotionally ahead of you.

For example....when out school shopping for supplies and backpacks and lunch bags...since you cannot find anything with SONIC on it.....(and I said I could paint one on a plain bag of some kind)....you still gravitate toward the very sweet more "toddler-ish" items. You have twice grabbed a DORA THE EXPLORER lunch bag and I had to tell you while I did not mind if you chose that one.....your peers and other boys might unfortunately make FUN of you for your choice. If you were still homeschooled that bag would be fine....but out in the real world.....it was unfortunately a different story.

SO the second time when we were out looking you found a DIFFERENT Dora The Explorer lunch bag.....and you turned to me and asked me "How about this one mommy? Would kids make fun of me if I took this one to school?"

I felt so bad for you.....and I so wish to avoid all the HYPE and crap that goes along with this big game everyone has to play in life. BUT I told you it was a great bag but yes....unfortunately your peers (especially the other boys) would probably make fun of you if you took that to school. So you put it back on the shelf.

Part of me feels like I am stifling you from being true to yourself... while the other part of me knows I am probably teaching you the ins and outs of being like your peers...and what is socially acceptable for someone your age..etc....but it does not detract from the difficulty of it all.

You have a ways to go yet as you are still emotionally behind the game compared to your peers but you are slowly catching up. It is MY goal you will be more than ready and equal to your peers by the time you are in high school for sure....preferably junior high.

I just wish everyone could truly be themselves in the world and not be subjected to ridicule or judgment so quickly. Even at your age.

I love you Noah.....

Mommy
XOXOX

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Dear Noah......school is coming up!


Today I decided we better bust butt and do some reviewing and additional learning before school starts again on the 26th of August. We had a great day today in homeschooling reviewing math (addition, subtraction and multiplication), practicing your writing skills to strengthen your hand muscles again and learning new spelling words. We also worked on a story and comprehension. For the first day of a vigorous review you did very well, sat very well and were very excited about the whole process.

I am hopeful this year will be another success for you in school....I know you are looking forward to it!

Where has the summer gone??

It stormed a lot last night and today. Looks like it will rain again. I am thankful for the rain as it has been so dry outside. Mr. Hawk has been spending time in our backyard trying to get himself some lunch or dinner. I tried to capture his photo today but he was too fast or hidden in the leaves in the trees. Maybe another day. Of course when he was in plain view on the fence and I did not see him in time to grab my camera....I missed that opportunity. He was HUGE though.

I love you Noah! It is really incredible to me to see how far you have come over the past few years.

Mommy
XOXOX

Monday, August 04, 2008

Dear Noah.......Jesus painting from grandma C.

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She gave us a painting of Jesus with children some time back and then grandma and grandpa L. were going to toss the frame into the trash......we hauled it home.....and voila! The painting fits nicely into the frame and looks like it was made for it!

You wanted it close to your room but not actually in your room so we hung it outside your door in the hallway....

We are getting stuff ready for a garage sale on the 15th......I took you to hear the siren being tested today at the National Guard......then to see grandma C. and grandma and grandpa L later. On the way to hear the siren being tested at noon you came out wearing old stereo headphones on your ears....saying that they should protect your ears from the sound. NO prompting or suggestions on my part.....you thought of that idea all by yourself and it was brilliant!

We had a busy day and I love you!

Mommy
XOXOX

Friday, August 01, 2008

Dear Noah.......


Yesterday morning you slept in a lot longer than usual. I found myself wondering if you were still alive....or if you died during the night. I remember the first time I wondered this same thing......when you were but 8 weeks old and it was the first time you slept straight through the entire night...10 hours of sleep! I woke up panicked...as we all slept in for a change.....and I was worried surely something must be wrong.

I went into your room to find you smiling back at me......just waking up for the day.

Now your body is on such a set schedule...you wake up like clockwork pretty much the same time every day. So when you don't ...I really wonder if something is wrong. I imagine this is natural for moms....but I figured by now that anxiousness would have long ago passed.

But I don't know....maybe it never will.

I am not sure why I sometimes get filled with sad thoughts about you.....feelings of loss....while you are here. I try to make my brain focus on all the good things and the fact that you ARE here. I wonder if it is normal to have these thoughts sometimes....and I am not sure where they come from.

I do know I cannot imagine my world without you in it.

I love you Noah.....to the moon and back again....forever I will.

Mommy
XOXOX