Wednesday, November 29, 2006
i love you
last night you could not fall asleep. You wanted to sleep in my bed. I of course said no......as I had to work and we worked so hard to get you to finally sleep in your own bed. You then asked for "COMPANY" in your bed. "REAL" company. I said you had all your buddies in bed with you....but you said "yes but they are not real!" "I want you to come sleep with me....at 3:30 when you are done working you need to come into my bed and sleep with me."
I told you when I got done working at 3:30 or 4:00 a.m. I would check on you..........but to go to sleep. THANKFULLY you rolled over and fell asleep.
I feel sad for you during nights like that. Course there is also no REAL company in my bed either! hahahaah...and if I go back to allowing you to sleep with me in my bed.......I think we would never make a cut off age.......and you would think it okay to still be sleeping with me at 12 or something. Course then again maybe you would not want to....
There is something to say for the comfort one feels and security when having someone share their bed to sleep together. SO I understand how you feel. I just wish I could make you feel better in your own bed by yourself. FOR the most part you actually do very well......and probably did much better at adapting than I did.
I will miss snuggling up beside you forever. That is why I wrote this poem about it a long time ago......
Lying Here Beside You
Lying here beside you, listening to your breathing
Watching as you snuggle close, wondering what you're dreaming
Treasuring every second in time, the clock has ticked away
Now I find I'm looking back and wishing we could stay
In this special moment, forever two as one
In this special bond, between a mother and her son
Wondering where the time has went and admiring how you've grown
Wondering if my memories will fill me up till I have known
A thousand lifetimes on this earth all filled with memories of you
A thousand moments caught in time all thoughts of me with you
Will I be able to recall sounds of your laughter and your tears
your joys and your sorrows, your dreams and your fears
Will I be able to see your face in my feeble senseless mind
I can only pray for this, but time will tell if it is kind
So meanwhile I savor every moment, every second I have with you
Every breath that we take together, every moment, just us two.
Melinda A. Napoletano
Copyright ©2006 Melinda A. Napoletano
i will love you forever noah
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
this pic was taken with the new camera though....I think I like it a lot! nice colors and clear! very good.....can even get very very close!
Monday, November 27, 2006
I DO HOPE and pray this takes care of itself soon......but I have been saying that now since summertime. I think it is time to take you to the dentist.
what crap that will likely be
Sunday, November 26, 2006
"At first I was excited, then happy, then I felt proud, and then I went back to normal, and in the end I was sad."
This is HUGE for Noah.....as it took me nearly 2 years for him to LEARN emotions and what they mean and how they LOOK on someone's face etc. He had no clue what HAPPY or SAD meant let alone how they looked...it took at least 2 years of prompting and looking at lots of emotion pictures and using them before he caught on and he still occasionally misreads things.
BUT to then take those and COMMUNICATE to me how he feels about something is taking things a step further. FINALLY at almost 8 years old he is able to do it and he does it pretty well.....though sometimes he still wants to act out instead of using his words to express how he feels about something. I have noticed more lately he will express instead how he feels with his words...which is HUGE progress for him.
I found what he said about how he felt at the end of Thanksgiving Day was pretty amazing coming from him. I had asked him what he thought about our party that day and having everyone over...etc. I guess it ended with him feeling sad because everyone had to go home and he would have preferred they all stayed.
Anyway......just wanted to share that :sledding: (I love this kid sledding)
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Friday, November 24, 2006
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Sunday, November 19, 2006
I told you that you HAD to learn GOOD behavior and what was acceptable......or else you would get into some real trouble in life......and if things ever got to where I could not control you.....I would not know what might happen. I know the older you get this is an area of concern for me. That is why I am pushing for you to learn more socially acceptable skills now while young.
YOU normally do very well with calming down and not getting to that point like you did Friday night......but something in you snapped. This is a bit scary.
Anyway......since then....you do try to explain how your mind works which I find fascinating. Like when I tell you to do something or ask you WHY you do something....you will say "because my mind can't think about that ...it is too busy thinking about traffic lights" (which is your current big obsession). This does make sense because I have had adult autistics explain it that way......there is just too much going on in your brain to allow you to listen to me really well sometimes.
Sometimes I can tell you to go get something and you are so OUT OF TUNE with paying attention to the CURRENT moment and me......you go off like in a fog...wandering around aimlessly.....till I have to really talk firmly and give you step-by-step directions.
Anyway..........I try to set a good example for you by also not losing my temper or getting too mad in front of you. I have been able to count on one hand that number to date. However......I did lose my temper the other night....which I always feel horrible about..........so it bothers me immensely that the number of times I could count might possibly have to branch out to a second hand.
SO we will work through this together. You remind me to calm down and I remind you. You said we BOTH needed a calm down book. You could be right.
i love you
Saturday, November 18, 2006
We came home and made rolled out gingerbread cookies......it is now time for bed.
i love you
Friday, November 17, 2006
Last night you decided to take BIG TEDDY off my bed and into your room......as you carried him out into your room you said "ahhhhhh......more to love"............and you smiled.
see.....you understand life's greatest treasure already.........
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
I am going to finish putting some things away tonight......and clean up. I will finish getting the rest of your books and stuff out tomorrow. AND deciding for sure where everything will go. We are at least making your room functional which is a MUST....and long overdue. I am also working in the office/arts/craft room.......going to finish setting that up. I am happy finally because things are taking shape! IT is about time. I wanted to get this done for a long time....but definitely before this weekend......most of it....and the rest BEFORE Thanksgiving comes around.
I know now we will meet our goal so that is good news. Not sure about curtains and new bedding but it will be very very presentable and more comfy for you to be in.
Okay....back to it.
love you lots.....
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
anyway.......you said you did not want to see Santa who is coming in the parade.....because "I am not done with my Christmas list yet!"
Monday, November 13, 2006
Oh well....no matter.
Grandma C. just stopped by.....she was in town. We are going to go to her house for supper. You are MORE than excited as we have not been out for a long time since I have been sick.
Love you lots!
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Lately if you get upset about something you grab your doodle pad......stomp off to your room and write me a MESSAGE about whatever it is upseting you and you use lots and lots of EXCLAMATION points to make your exasperation known! hahaha....you do a great job....and this calms you down in the process.......you have to take time to leave the room.......write.......breathe.....shove the doodlepad in my face.......make a face at me......and I can respond back on the doodlepad. BY the time we are done sending messages...no one has yelled or screamed.......and we usually.....meaning mostly you...cope and handle things prett well and are more easily ready to bend.
YEAH for your progress Noah.
I love you
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Tonight the Wizard of Oz is on.......the twister scene just took place...Noah was all excited as he loves tornadoes! He was talking about how he had never heard of a town called MUNCHKINLAND......and how the tornado picked Dorothy's house but did not kill her....and then he looked at me and said "thank God the tornado did not kill her but it only moved her and her house far far away." ( I thought to myself yeah or there would not have been a movie!)
I chuckled to hear you. Your speaking is getting so much better all the time.........and.......your PROPER English too....and how you come up with all these cut sentences and phrases....out of YOUR MIND as you say.
i love your mind........i love you
Thursday, November 09, 2006
For occupational needs and sensory integration needs you can do from home here are a couple of additional links:
and therapy tools:
I was asked by a blogger friend for some helpful links and suggestions on homeschooling our kids....so then I thought perhaps others out there may be able to find some of my links and information helpful so I thought I would share.......
First off.......in order to be successful in homeschooling I think you have to learn to DE-school as you probably already know. Forget that you always have to have a textbook to teach by...cause in reality you just do not have to.
Noah was not always verbal. In fact he did not really talk at all till about 4 years of age and then it was brief ...1-2 words at a time....and most could not even understand him then. He has made HUGE strides.......he did take some speech therapy but even you can do that at home yourself. For Noah we also checked out some books and videotapes from the local library on SIGN LANGUAGE....and the ones geared for kids..........and he quite easily along with us picked up basic signs for basic communication which helped him tremendously! Here are some helpful links for speech therapy aids and communication aids:
http://www.deafhomeschool.com/ (yes this site has wonderful speech communication tools)
MOST autistics are very visual.......
We also used PECS (Picture Exchange Communication System) or basically little PICTURES of different things or activities or emotions....that you can laminate and put velcro on the backside to make STORY LINES or social stories....or even so the child can go grab ONE picture of let's say "I'm hungry" and bring it to you to show you they are hungry. These can be as detailed or simple as you choose.....you can make your own up or there are sites offering them. Some sites you have to pay...I used www.do2learn.com for most of my PECS till I at least got the hang of the system and then you can pretty much do your own. They explain it pretty well on their site.
I too had hard times with Noah trying school....and he too could not always tell me what happened there.....and he had issues with being HURT or things happening to him it appeared to us anyway.....during school time. I was not happy about that and to be honest I am thankful I yanked him from public school BUT using PICTURES helped him show us what was happening....and he could express himself finally in a way everyone could understand. All he had to do was grab a card with a picture and/or several and make a sentence to communicate with us.
Your local library can have many books you can use for teaching things. I also found some wonderful resources online......and even some FREE ONLINE school stuff that your child (if computer savy) can really have a good time with and learn at the same time! The most recent website for online learning for many grades is at www.iknowthat.com Again it is free but you can also pay for a membership and receive even MORE things.
Also another good one is www.edhelper.com where you can pay a small fee and have TONS of worksheets and teaching tools at your fingertips! They are really good too.
For more free lesson plans including for art and music and such these sites are good:
for kid homework helps this is a good link:
I also found some wonderful teaching tools at local school supply places or even online such as www.banksschoolsupply.com
AND some at Target...they have cool BIG LEARNING BOOKS with CDs inside that your child and you can work through......they are usually sold by GRADE and include all the basic stuff that grade should be learning. Noah loved these and at only 15.00 per book/CD they were good.
I also just incorporated things into Noah's learning that I wanted him to learn too....or things that interested him. If he was into trains for example we would do extra stories and learning or math all based on a TRAIN theme.
ALSO.......USE THOSE ELECTRONIC learning toys out there...they are GREAT for kids. Noah still uses them. He has used his Leap Pad for lots of learning....especially now that they also sell GRADE LEVEL reading, math, science, social studies, geography, human body, all sorts of subjects. He loves it and he is also PLAYING he thinks so he has a great time but it counts as school and he is learning!
Homeschooling I also let Noah just wing it sometimes. Most times. If he gets tired we don't push things. He will pick things up just in everyday life. Those skills are important too...they are some of the BEST social skills he will ever get! SO even that counts towards school and is usually something they will not be receiving in regular school unless it is written into an IEP plan or something.....and it is so needed. Making and using puppets to act out social stories you come up with also were huge hits. Such as "stranger danger"...."fire safety"......"good manners on the playground"..etc. You can make puppets and then act out scenarios with the child of what NOT to do and then WHAT TO do.......until they "get it!".
It is really so much fun teaching Noah! I wish I had a separate WHOLE room to use as a classroom but even incorporating it into his bedroom or my office area has worked. Even just the kitchen table!
You can also get craft books from the local library for seasons and work on THEME items based on the time of year. Sometimes they even incorporate a story to learn something....for example you might have an apple project and then they also teach you about Johnny Appleseed.
I also found some MUSICAL CDs with learning things on it. Music and song and MOVEMENT are key with Noah. He loves it and it works! I put some song/music links above....those are always great ways to just have fun...move.....take a break.....and work on phonics and communication all at the same time!
I am sure this sounds a bit overwhelming but it does not have to be. In fact.....we no longer go by a SET time to start or even end school. We do it when we want......little bits at a time......I make sure to get the things in there we need to....and it is fine.
OH...and don't forget....your local library has MANY teaching videos now......which are great! AND if your child is not yet very verbal.....DO TRY those Baby Bumblebee videos which basically is just a video made up of kids doing different things and filming of different things and then someone SAYING the word and SHOWING the word on the screen in front of that object. THIS was a GREAT way Noah learned to talk..........I think you can even buy them....but our local library had them....so we would check them out for free. AND they have other learning videos....things on math.....science.......all geared again for kids and FUN!
And take advantage of your local museums, zoos, and even the grocery store for field trips and learning. I believe in teaching your child basic life skills along with required curriculum...so they will be better prepared to be on their own one day. With special needs children this is an even greater requirement that we as parents need to meet.....because they will have an even harder time making it one day in the world. A good head start is great! This can be as simple as having them help you with cooking....which by the way is also a great way to teach them different forms of measurement and fractions. Or having them open a bank account and learning to keep track of money...the value of money....working to save money for something special. They can also help sort laundry and load laundry into the washers and dryer. ANYthing that is part of activities of daily living you can incorporate also into your school day.
Same for basic hygiene skills. I have found making a visual chart works best for Noah.....with a list of things he has to do every day. He can then take stickers and mark off things as he has successfully completed them and he can earn rewards.
I also use rewards in the classroom setting.....but not as much as I used to. I have a glass milk bottle....that we drop old CRAYONs down into whenever Noah has successfully listened for the day. Once the jar is full....he gets to pick a prize from the treasure chest. This is nothing huge...just a plastic container from the dollar store filled with crepe paper wrapped dollar store items. Make the goal ATTAINABLE and the crayon jar or marble jar or whatever you use not TOO large....or they will feel like they are working for nothing!
I did the same thing with a reading program for Noah. I got this huge door-sized paper and drew books on shelves.......sideways.......we wrote in the spines of these drawn on books on this paper the names of books Noah read as he completed them. Once an entire row or shelf of books was completed he got a SPECIAL prize. You can also PURCHASE this same thing from school supply stores for not too much money. Noah loves to read so he really enjoyed this and you will also be amazed at just HOW much you read by keeping track in this way.
For learning all types of religions this link is helpful:
AND I think that is enough to keep most busy. I have never purchased an actual curriculum from anyone or any company. I use a variety of online tools and cheaper things you can find locally to teach Noah. A lot of resources are now free which is ideal. Hope this helps others out there who are thinking about homeschooling their child...whether they are special needs or not!
So wiggle wiggle wiggle!
love you lots
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Monday, November 06, 2006
so........all is well in your world again. For now....cookie withdrawal over........
and I think I am finally starting to feel better.
I love you
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Then you enjoyed watching Dog Whisperer. ....and finally we danced to some music as I was actually feeling a bit better......and then you said "I want to play with you......come into my room!"
progress is being made
i love you
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Friday, November 03, 2006
Yep.........you just came to me and said this" I need to see daddy...I wish daddy would come pick me up and fly me back out to Colorado." When I asked you why you said "cause I love daddy more than you (with a wicked finger pointing) and he gives me more company than you."
This crushed me. I know you do not understand why I have avoided being directly around you this week even though I have told you why. AND you are always the one telling me "no mommy....shut my door....I want privacy" and never want to come out and do anything with me.
Well bud that will change now. No more DAY-LONG privacy sessions for you. You can just get your buttocks out of your room and come out and do things with me whether you want to or not. You will have to play with me regardless of whether you want to or not.
I was afraid this would happen. Yeah...daddy has turned into a FUN person. The person you think you always can do FUN things with and have FUN with. WHY? Because you do not live with him and have REAL LIFE with him. You only see him on vacations and free days. SO when you are with him it is always about having a good time! Daddy does not have to work during that time. He is not sick during that time. He can devote his entire day to you!
I know you notice that. SO when you have to come back to me.........oh no. Reality sets in. It is not always fun here. Sometimes mommy is busy and has to work more so I can pay the bills and that means you have to do things on your own. Sometimes I get too busy with work and feel crappy and it slows me down and I am at it all day long. I cannot stand this but what am I to do?
Sometimes I am sick like now and can barely make it by the normal day let alone do extra special things with you. This week I have not been able to homeschool you because I have just been too sick.
You see it differently. I guess mommy is not fun...not much COMPANY. You are always going into your room and shutting your door. We live in the same house but separate. That has to stop. AND I guess it will start now ...tonight. I guess if you get sick you get sick.
i love you.......but you have really hurt me....even though I am sure you do not have a clue you did.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
My work is suffering too. ....I am making all sorts of typos today.
I love you!
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
For 2 nights in a row now you have been sticking your finger up your nose to make it bleed. Picking is one thing.....not sure about this. You came to me and leaned over and whispered in my ear: "now mommy......it is okay for me to eat my blood ..........it is good for my stomach.........is it okay for me to drink blood?" things like that. It sort of freaked me out a bit! I asked you if you liked the taste of blood and you said "OH YES!" all excited. You were wanting reassurance it was okay to drink blood. You kept telling me it would be good for you. I said I thought it was sort of gross....you just laughed and giggled. hum........I know kids can be lacking something nutritionally when they crave things like this. Not sure if this is an actual craving or you just want assurance that because you made your nose bleed picking it......it is okay. I know with your semi-limited diet of foods you eat you most likely are lacking something.
i love you a lot.....but this was sort of spooky.....especially on Halloween night. I wondered if you had seen something about vampires and sucking of blood......but it was not like that.
anyway.....love you lots noah